a good friend went thru some horrific stuff last yr this month.
we were in nearly 24/7 contact by phone. when the bad stuff happened
it was like i was right there. one of her insiders gave me all the specific details of what was happening and what had happpened
my friend also would talk to be right afterwards---bad things were happening to her every day several times a day.
i finally got her to my place--clear across the country---and saw the
results of what had happened to her on her body.
i nursed her and sat with her while she cried and told me things.

i put it all away.
today she reminded me it is the anniverary of the worst things that happened to her. the most unimaginable things.
i was on the phone with her

now i'm having a really rough time.

[turquoisesea]

just wanted to send some hugs
*wish I knew about ptsd *

[phoenix7]

Is she ok now? if so that is the thing to focus on - think of the progress she has made - hopefully she is safe now - focus on the good - the bad happened and you cant change that - (if only ) but you helped her and she got away

she's so focused on her flashbacks and
what it's done to her
that she forgets "we" we part of it all too.
she forgets that the memories
and her just talking about how she is hurting
and stuff and her relaying her flashbacks
and reminding us of what day and time
that we are having problems with it too
she never asks about us.
memories are still there.

we have turned off the cell
put it in a drawer
won't check messages.
can't deal now
naomi

[Elysium]

Hey WI!

I'm not a therapist, but I do have PTSD and have done some research on it. This is in no way an attempt to diagnose you with anything....just my personal opinion and understandings.

It is very possible that this could be symptoms of PTSD. PTSD can occur from being exposed to a single incident of trauma...whether that mean you were directly involved or just witnessed an event.

It sounds like these were very traumatic experiences for you friend, and as you were being supportive, it could have triggered you in ways you may not fully understand....therefore, as your friend relives these events a year later and looks to you for support again, you in return are triggered again. It kind of makes sense.

I have what some call Complex PTSD which occurs when the trauma is not just from a single event, but from long term exposure to trauma. However, I know that when I was little and my Grandfather passed away, this was very traumatic for me, as he was the one person that could and would protect me from my abuser(s). There is NO DOUBT in my mind that I have PTSD symptoms from losing him. And death or injury of someone close has been known to cause PTSD.

Sorry for the long-winded answer, but I hope this helps a little.

thanks elysium
it gets more complicated from here out
it is seeming like a replay of last yr.
for us--we are'nt in contact with friend.
but we are snowballing fast.
never thought this would happen.
naomi

[phoenix7]

(((Naomi))) I have the same thing with my sister - she rings and goes through stuff - and it tears me apart - it brings back the fear I felt for her and for me as well (her husband threatened us both) and I listen and I help her while inside I am being torn apart - then she hangs up and I am alone - she is with her family and I am alone - I can understand how you feel.

can you do something for you - somthing comforting - i dont know if its day or night there or hot or cold - cuddle up with a hot water bottle under the covers - play with or cuddle a pet - you deserve to be taken care of and if the only person there is you - then you have to do it - if someone else is there - maybe you can go talk t them and let them know how you are feeling - maybe you can share with your friend how you are feeling - how much it affects you - I couldnt do that with my sister though...

please take care of you

[Sannah]

Just sounds like you are reacting to a one-sided relationship where once again your needs take a back seat...............

[turquoisesea]

Originally Posted by Sannah

Just sounds like you are reacting to a one-sided relationship where once again your needs take a back seat...............

Have you told your friend how you feel, how this upsets you?