just started klonopin again. ive been off it for several weeks at least. (bad awareness of time lately)
what i really need, if i can be so intrusive to ask such a thing...... is like positive posts that will say whether or not i seem more coherent of happier or whatever, cuz i am inside myself unable to see my full progress. and i was recently told in public chat that i was doing better befor and that im noticibly worse right now.
i know weve talked about klonopin here before but any feedback would simply thrill me.
and truthfully its also because i am trying to get back into the reaching out and communication thing here.
i dont know who i was or how bad you noticed me being last time %#@&#! went haywire in my mind....
kinda just wanna chat and hopefully not have my sorta wounded sense of self esteem and confidence squashed more in the process.

i was on ativan but it didnt work... so started back on this klonopin.
2 mg, 3 times a day,as my doctor originall precribed... have to get through a week without any meds for my bipolar disorder or my psychosis.
so at least the anxiety will be mellowed out for the meantime. (just hope i can wake up on time)

so what kind of dose of klonopin is anyone else taking?

wow, my communication skills are deteriorating....
i just want to sorta let the readers know that the first post there wasnt meant to be negative. its just a reflection of my frustration i have with myself right now.

and its not negatively directed at anyone or the group here.... its my wierd way of reaching out for your honest imput.

[bptoo]

Hi CCL,

We've never talked (I don't think, my memory sucks), so I don't know if I'd notice any difference in you or not. Do you take the K for anxiety, or do you have panic attacks too? I guess what I'd ask is if the klonopin makes you feel more centered when you take it? Having Bipolar II I know that I can get out of whack very easily, I start having ruminating thoughts, get very manicky (is that a word?). When I take my klonopin it helps to quiet things down in my mind and body.

I know it's really hard to see improvement in yourself, or the lack of it. We are our own worse critics too, so we tend to be very hard on ourselves, even when we're doing better.

I'm curious, what dose of the klonopin are you on and how often do you take it? Do you sleep well? What made you decide to go off of it for a few weeks? Hope you don't mind the questions, I'm just naturly nosey at heart...

Looking forward to hearing from you, and I hope you're having a good day. We all deserve as many of those as we can get!

Greg

[darkeyes]

I don't think your communication skills are deteriorating (sp?) you did a great job in expressing your concerns
I've been prescribed "as needed" 0.5mgs twice a day.
Ativan, "as needed" take half or whole tablet, whole one equals 1mg. (before bedtime) There have been many times lately when I have had to use both of them, they do help, and I avoid using them often, pdoc was proud of me doing so.
In fact due to the control on such meds. I have stockpiled them not with any bad intentions either, just for the sake the pharmacy does not do refills until a month is over, soooo if I can do without, leave them in the bottle I have enough that pdoc hasn't had to write new scripts.
It's just lately, due to high stress and anxiety I've start to take them. Hope this reply was of some help to you.
I don't get time to read everyone's post, I did last week then the system gobbled them up . . . gone.
But the little I have seen shows some improvment in your posts/replies. I wish you much progress down the road besides the present.
Please take care now,

DE

well... im have bipolar disorder with psychosis , probably leaning toward a near future dx of schizoaffective disorder....
my disorder touches on DID and schizophrenia as well.
i was taking a slew of meds including: zyprexa 5mg/day, lamictal 300 mg/day, klonopin 6 mg/day divided, ativan 1mg/day, and maybe something else.. i cant remember.
so im just taking the klonopin now, 2 mg, 3x/day. i have zyprexa in my car just in case cuz i dont like to hallucinate at work.
i have major meetings this week and trying to chill

[Parker10]

I take Klonopin - 2 mgs a day. I take it for Panic Disorder - been taking it for 15 years, never increased it in that time. Havent had a panic attack since starting it. Klonopin has to build up in your system to actually work for panic attacks, but I dont think that is why you are taking it CC. I have never known anyone on as much as you are taking, but with your cocktail of diagnoses, I am sure your Doctor knows what is safe for you. Good luck with staying off the other meds (I am not real sure why you are having to do that).

im just staying off of the other meds out of sheer confusion....
after my last battle with psychotic mania, i decided i dint need them and they were damaging my body. i convinced myself i was being brainwashed by my medical group..... and i believe that the drugs helped me expand my mind to the point that it actually turned inside out....
sounds crazy, i know. truth is i am crazy. i try to get through each day though.
i spent a great deal of energy focusing and maintaining the socially acceptable image of myself.
and the klonopin is meant to help with panic, it helps with the whole thing according to my doc who says it is much like a mood stabilizer. the zyprexa was for some unimaginable psychosis... to keep me from becoming madly delusional to the point that i felt i was lost inside a host body and would separate from myself and shadows would walk and speak to me in a hiss. ativan is for situational anxiety.

unfortunately i am constantly paranoid and even when the bipolar symptoms have all ceased, the slew of symptoms that fit into schizophrenia become more prominent..... there are even studies... give a schizoaffective person lithium, and if they get better it is bipolar disorder... give a schizoaffective person antipsychotics and if they get better they are schizophrenic.
now, i havent tried lithium (out of fear) so i have a bit more lab research to do on my brain til i figger this out.

[Dolfin]

I, too was afraid of Lithium. Now that I've been on it for 2 months, I am glad I put my fears aside long enough to give it a shot. I am also on Klonopin 1 mg/twice daily(for panic disorder) and Seroquel 100 mg/day (helps with cycling). My Lithium is more than likely getting titrated next week, since I've already had my first blood work-up, but I currently take 300 mg/3x's a day. (My pdoc said this is baseline for BP1's.)

My fear of Lithium came from the stigma - if I go on this, then I really AM crazy. I have told NO ONE outside my close family IRL that I am on it; it's an anxiety I can do without. I think I remember in the past you saying something about Lithium being brought up to you (could be mistaken??). All I can suggest is to do what I did; Google/Yahoo the Hell out of it. There is a lot of information about it out there, and it helped me overcome my fears of *the dreaded med* Lithium.

Since being on it, my mental clarity and stability has been slowly improving as well as my cycling. Hopefully Lithium can afford you this much needed balance. You know the saying *Don't knock it 'til you try it*. I know that's not much comfort after being on a myriad of different meds (as I have been in the past as well) but what can it hurt to try?

If I've offended you by anything I've said, my sincerest apologies. I just know I've had the same fears, and want you to know that you are not alone in feeling that way. Hang in there until you see your Doc...sending you good vibes.

Dolfin

you didnt offend me...
im actually a little jealous.
i wish i could overcome the fear and take it but unfortunately my problem so closely resembles the early stages of paranoid schizophrenia....i want to do it but i wont let myself.
im so glad its working for you though....
i do like the klonopin... it helped me get through today.
i have lithium on hand and the correct prescribing info for it along with lab slips to take in after a week if i decide to take it.
my docs give me a lot of freedom in my med choices cuz im very stubborn and fearful.
since im off the lamictal now, i had been researching lithium.....
i found something on the web that had been suggested by a member her a long time ago. its called lithium orotate.... its a natural form of lithium....
see my problem lies in my mind. i want to do it, but the negative thoughts prvent me from doing it.
and since i dont trust myself....... i cant make the decision.
and with my way with doctors and blatant med refusals, they leave my "pdoc" care in my own hands...
i mean, i can get ANYTHING! just gotta call in the request to the pharmacy and in 24-48 hours its there for me to pick up. and i have several lab slips ready so if i do take certain meds, i can take them myself to the lab, get the tests run and call an 800 number to get the results.

i think you guys are sorta lukier that you have the frame of mind to take doctors orders, and the doctors who will make the orders.

it is what it is though....
im trying... im moving toward it.
gonna see my doc in a week or so.

thanks for the support dolfin, i really mean that.

[cat_eye]

I take Klonopin as needed. It makes me sleeeeeeepy.