maybe I have the right drug...Cam? anyone?

Do you mind if I just think out loud for a bit?? Any comments are very welcome. I am not sure I have any questions though.

When I first started seeing my pdoc for major depression more than 4 years ago, the first thing he tried me on was Zoloft. I couldn't stand the racing, zooming feeling and asked to get off. Can't recall how long I was on it. It was before I started keeping a journal. So then I tried Effexor and got off because of similar but worse side fx.

Then over the last 3+ years I have been on Remeron, lithium, Wellbutrin, Celexa, Neurontin, and Serzone in various combos (Rem, Rem+li, Rem+WB, WB+Rem, WB+Rem+Neu, WB+Neu, WB+Neu+Celexa, WB+Neu+Serz, WB+Serz). I took WB+Serz for the past year +4 months, but because the combo didn't seem to hold up under stress, my pdoc suggested adding Celexa again or Zoloft. Celexa made me lethargic and apathetic, so I opted to try Zoloft thinking that I'd endured so many other side fx that maybe the first ones I felt with Zoloft wouldn't seem as bad as they did when I was a freshman.

I haven't even felt those fx. I feel more alert and a little on edge...sometimes maybe irritable, but people around me say they have not noticed it. I am actually feeling pretty good these days. (Zoloft started June 22; I take 150mg WB 2x/day and 50mg Zo 1X) My pdoc I think wants to talk about maybe raising the Zo dose next week, or making some other change (he'd mentioned this week he wanted to talk about the Zoloft dose next time).

I am thinking that this combo might be working b/c I just went through a breakup with my first boyfriend after my divorce (1 yr of dating after 3+ years of aloneness), and also went through some anniversaries that normally lay me low that didn't too much this year (mother's death, wedding anniversary, and husband leaving all within a 9 day period in July 1998).

I am starting to wonder/hope/think that maybe this might be the best combo. Every combo has been the "best" so far, but I don't recall ever feeling this good. Then I think, "Damn!! and to think if Zoloft works, if I had held out longer on the side fx, maybe I would have felt like this 3 years ago instead of going through all of these other trials and feelings of misery." Or maybe Zoloft wasn't right last time but is this time.

Random thoughts. I dunno....What do you think? Thanks for listening.

<font color=purple>In nature, there are neither rewards nor punishments. There are consequences.
- R.G. Ingersoll

Poseygurl - Unfortunately we all have to say that most people with treament resistant depression have to try a number of combinations of antidepressants and other drugs before finding the combination that works for them.

Have you ever considered ECT? It is by far the most efficacous treatment we have.

If the Zoloft combo is working for you - stick with it. Remember, an adequate trial for any antidepressant therapy is 8 - 10 weeks before giving up on it.

I hope this helps - Cam

<font color=blue>"Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing happened." - Winston Churchill</font color=blue>

Thanks, Cam. I really appreciate your input. I have not considered ECT lately. I used to when I felt at the end of the rope, but I haven't felt THAT bad in awhile. So maybe that says that I'm on the right road to gradually finding what may become the right drug combo...

Thanks again!

<font color=purple>In nature, there are neither rewards nor punishments. There are consequences.
- R.G. Ingersoll