[Americano]

I'm a beautiful person on the outside and people love me however...
I'm a loner
Withdrawn
Haven't dated in years
And the few times I did I wouldn't stay long before leaving
I'd always just stop talking to these girls
And I'd feel guilty for doing that but I don't know i just can't figure myself out.

I really clicked well with this one girl from years ago but she still likes me, always has and I've always like her. We've have so much on common it's weird for us not to be together.

Basically I just want a medication that will make me want to work like a normal person, not stay up all night and sleep all day, feeling like a complete waste of gloyous potential. Living to feel altered is no way to live.

I fear everyday in my isolated prison having the potential to spend every precious moment with her. We already talked about having kids. I need to print this for my therapist ha
But I really am suffering and torment from not doing the right thing. And to do nothing with my great opportunities shames not only me but my family.

I don't want to keep going to sleep with being haunted by my fear and insecurity is filling my mind. I hate my mindset and perspective most of the time.

I need her to fulfill my purpose. If I let this opportunity slip my by I will be traumatized. I want to live ...plz ...there is nothing in my way...make my mind well pray for me if you believe it will help

Thanks goodnight

[metamorphosis12]

Have you tried CBT or ACT therapy with a competent therapist? I think that would be a good start to work out any underlying problems and also lifestyle changes. It sounds like a self-esteem and self sabotaging issue. I believe in body/mind/spirit unity for a healthy now and future. As far as meds,. they may be helpful but you need to talk to either your current therapist or find another if you are not satisfied with s/he.

[Nammu]

I don't think there is such a medication but therapy can help with relationships.

[Misssy2]

like nammu said...no medication is for relationships..but are you on an antidepressent?
Or anti anxiety med? Your mental state of wanting to be a loner could be some form of depression.

[Travelinglady]

I was thinking about an anti-anxiety med, too. That might help!

[Patagonia]

You stated that you basically want a med that will make you wanto work like a normal person.
What's normal?
You won't find the answers to yourself in a med & you shouldn't be looking for someone to fulfill your purpose! Sorry.

You fulfill your own purpose. No one else. You have many issues you need to grapple with & understand & as you do I think you will build your own self confidence, direction & worth.
You deserve it so put the work into yourself. You'll find your answers.
Fwiw

[ofthevalley]

Getting a relationship can't be done with a med but therapy can help you work through your issues. maybe an antidepressant would help with some of your feelings.

[Patagonia]

OP....do you take any meds?

[TicTacGo]

Hm. I would say something like CBT therapy specifically, or that and perhaps a light anti anxiety drug.

[Americano]

Yes but currently im only taking 10mg celexa ( to avoid being over sedated). Just started lamictal today. I have amphetemine (Dexedrine) which makes me anxious. I wake up tired and take rx speed, get anxious take rx downers (ambien) feel tired and depressed again ugh I can't figure it out.

[Americano]

And I'm in regular therapy haven't been able to find special therapy on my insurance and I don't make much $ at all.

[Patagonia]

Is the Dexedrine for narcolepsy? If it makes you anxious why do you stay on it? Maybe try something else like Ritalin, addarall, or concerta or just lowering the stim dose.
You also build up a tolerance to any stim based drug. How long have you been on it?

Are you taking this in the morning? Because you posted you sleep all day.

[Americano]

I've tried all the stims (for motivation and depression). All of them make me anxious so if I can get some positive energy elsewhere I'll be glad to let them go. Well I take it after 2 cause that's when I get up then again later if I feel like it. But yea I don't think they are healthy for someone with my level of anxiety.

This is how I think of psych meds--

Sometimes we have to have them to function, relieve our suffering, etc. but it seems like many make us numb or have side effects. Many are addictive or cause us to change so cutting back is hard but if you can, I recommend reducing them. When I was younger, some relationships felt like an antidepressant (I was not taking any psych drugs back then)--think of the song:

I Want a New Drug
Huey Lewis
Oh
I want a new drug, one that won't make me sick
One that won't make me crash my car
Or make me feel feet, feet, feet thick
I want a new drug, one that won't hurt my head
One that won't make my mouth too dry
Or make my eyes too red
One that won't make me nervous
Wonderin' what to do
One that makes me feel like I feel when I'm with you
When I'm alone with you
I want a new drug, one that won't spill
One that don't cost too much
Or come in a pill
I want a new drug, one that won't go away
One that won't keep me up all night
One that won't make me sleep all day
One that won't make me nervous
Wonderin' what to do
One that makes me feel like I feel when I'm with you

I wonder if your drugs could be interfering with a potential relationship with your friend. When I decrease my anxiety medications--I am more responsive to my husband both physically and mentally.

[Patagonia]

Originally Posted by Americano

I've tried all the stims (for motivation and depression). All of them make me anxious so if I can get some positive energy elsewhere I'll be glad to let them go. Well I take it after 2 cause that's when I get up then again later if I feel like it. But yea I don't think they are healthy for someone with my level of anxiety.

I'm not sure I understand your train of thought here, regarding these meds.

You stated that you want normal hours. Does that mean like get up at 8am? Do you work second shift or third that you're getting up at 2pm, taking a stim....& then more later????
Is this how your dr set it up?????

If something causes anxiety why take it!
Sorry this doesn't make sense to me.

[Americano]

Originally Posted by Hopingtrying

This is how I think of psych meds--

Sometimes we have to have them to function, relieve our suffering, etc. but it seems like many make us numb or have side effects. Many are addictive or cause us to change so cutting back is hard but if you can, I recommend reducing them. When I was younger, some relationships felt like an antidepressant (I was not taking any psych drugs back then)--think of the song:

I Want a New Drug
Huey Lewis
Oh
I want a new drug, one that won't make me sick
One that won't make me crash my car
Or make me feel feet, feet, feet thick
I want a new drug, one that won't hurt my head
One that won't make my mouth too dry
Or make my eyes too red
One that won't make me nervous
Wonderin' what to do
One that makes me feel like I feel when I'm with you
When I'm alone with you
I want a new drug, one that won't spill
One that don't cost too much
Or come in a pill
I want a new drug, one that won't go away
One that won't keep me up all night
One that won't make me sleep all day
One that won't make me nervous
Wonderin' what to do
One that makes me feel like I feel when I'm with you

I wonder if your drugs could be interfering with a potential relationship with your friend. When I decrease my anxiety medications--I am more responsive to my husband both physically and mentally.

Very relatable song, i didn't do to well when I quit everything so finding the right anti d may be best for me. I feel like trying to have a relationship is a stress that I cant deal with, like most people do it for the reward but I'm not doing it because I have ahedonia anyways and can't get pleasure...I wish I could but instead I choose to be alone because I don't feel well enough.

Originally Posted by Patagonia

I'm not sure I understand your train of thought here, regarding these meds.

You stated that you want normal hours. Does that mean like get up at 8am? Do you work second shift or third that you're getting up at 2pm, taking a stim....& then more later????
Is this how your dr set it up?????

If something causes anxiety why take it!
Sorry this doesn't make sense to me.

My sleep schedule is wake up 1-2 pm go to sleep 4-6am if I have the option to do so. Which I try to find ways to schedule my day to fit this. (Which seems extremely indicative of depression during the day, sleeping, and anxious at night so stay awake.

I think the answer to the other question is I want to feel better more energy more positive mood but the stims aren't hitting the right receptors.My stims meds I get backed up from being unwilling to take the rxed dose. Downers I go through so fast I'll run out get sick and repeat when I can get more. So maybe trying more anti ds and leaving uppers and downers behind is my safest bet.

[Patagonia]

If you don't have a reason to sleep in or stay on this sleep pattern, like for a job, maybe you could start to change your sleep cycle. It sounds like you've changed your cicadian rhythm and how you're sleeping. If you've slept like this for a long time it will take awhile to change.

But it might be something you wanto look at. It doesn't involve drugs & might help to be up during the day, ware yourself out & hopefully you'll be tired at the end of the day & less anxious.
Just a thought tho.

[mccarrolmike]

Originally Posted by Americano

Yes but currently im only taking 10mg celexa ( to avoid being over sedated). Just started lamictal today. I have amphetemine (Dexedrine) which makes me anxious. I wake up tired and take rx speed, get anxious take rx downers (ambien) feel tired and depressed again ugh I can't figure it out.

When I was prescribed Dexedrine my Dr rxd me Klonopin to avoid those harsh and jittery comedowns. Worked for me for over 10 years

[Americano]

What happened after the 10 years though?

[mccarrolmike]

I had lots of energy. A ton of motivation. I forgot the bed as I used to be bedridden. My girlfriends and I would go out clubbing at nights. I was never alone. Probably because I shared my pills with 2 best gfs.
It was indeed a fun decade.
However, it wasn't Dexedrine I was consuming.
It was another form of the active isomer in Dexedrine that would last longer than those short-lived Ritalin-like spansules.
They were called Dextrostat.
I think they don't manufacturer those anymore because they came out with the brand called, Zenzedi. The same active ingredient in those incredibly, euphoric, motivating, Dextrostat.

[mccarrolmike]

Originally Posted by Americano

What happened after the 10 years though?

Oh after, far and in between while taking Dextrostat, I was using Crystal Meth.
When my Psychiatrist retired and the policy changed on giving adults amphetamines, I was ****ed and replaced that with something, Uhm, stronger.
My use of meth became a daily ordeal.
Before I would die from using it, I had to move away para Colombia.
There's no meth here in Barranquilla.

Now being abstinent from both substances, my life undoubtedly becomes a nightmare.
I had to wait months until my health insurance activated.
I was clinically moderately depressed.
I couldn't get our of bed for days.
I lost the will of living.
Thoughts of suicide and a couple attempts.
It was a nightmare that lasted 2 years.

I then, become medicated with antidepressants. Switching one after another that eventually worked.

Finally, there was light.

With the right meds, I was able to live again.

It took 2 years for me to feel normal after my drug abuse.

[Americano]

Originally Posted by mccarrolmike

Oh after, far and in between while taking Dextrostat, I was using Crystal Meth.
When my Psychiatrist retired and the policy changed on giving adults amphetamines, I was ****ed and replaced that with something, Uhm, stronger.
My use of meth became a daily ordeal.
Before I would die from using it, I had to move away para Colombia.
There's no meth here in Barranquilla.

Now being abstinent from both substances, my life undoubtedly becomes a nightmare.
I had to wait months until my health insurance activated.
I was clinically moderately depressed.
I couldn't get our of bed for days.
I lost the will of living.
Thoughts of suicide and a couple attempts.
It was a nightmare that lasted 2 years.

I then, become medicated with antidepressants. Switching one after another that eventually worked.

Finally, there was light.

With the right meds, I was able to live again.

It took 2 years for me to feel normal after my drug abuse.

Which meds do you like?

[mccarrolmike]

Originally Posted by Americano

Which meds do you like?

Wellbutrin and stimulants.
Only stuff that makes me a funcional human being

[Americano]

Sometimes I wish stims worked for me

[mccarrolmike]

Originally Posted by Americano

Sometimes I wish stims worked for me

Stimulants are a double edged sword