i have come to realize that i need to take a mood stabilizer but i still cannot bring myself to tell my doctor about my symptoms of bipolar. maybe im afraid of the stigma and i just dont want to admit i am this weak. i will never tell my family or friends(although some of my friends have already figured it out) i am so good at pretending to be okay that i even fool myself sometimes and the cycles catch me off guard. i just need to medicate myself so i can keep this problem a secret from everyone including myself. so i wonder.... how can i get an anonymous prescription?

[Larry_Hoover]

First off, bipolar disorder is not a weakness. It is an illness. If someone has cerebral palsy, do you call them weak? Of course not.

Self-medication has gotten a lot of bipolars into serious trouble. One problem is what is known as kindling. The more often your brain cycles through its bipolar fluctuations, the more easy it is for it to happen again. Self-medication doesn't work as well as doctor-supervised prescribing, so the mood cycles can become worse if left inadequately treated.

If your symptoms are sufficient that others have noticed, then they are sufficient to seek supportive care. Or, would you rather wait until you have a debilitating episode, out in public? Your current strategy seems to be self-defeating, virtually guaranteeing that what you fear will come to pass.

Talk to your doctor, and tell him about your fear. Please?

Lar

thank you lar.... its so hard to though. i know i need to but i dont know, i just cant make myself do it. i dont want to ruin my health with the meds, i just want to be normal. i guess i dont have the courage to get help. (at least that is the case during a depressive episode which i am in right now) but thank you for the encouragement

[Larry_Hoover]

Okay. I am listening. Maybe you might want to try some lithium orotate. It's an over-the-counter lithium supplement.

Lar

[Myzen]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
i dont want to ruin my health with the meds, i just want to be normal.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Hi, Cottoncandylocks,

I so understand your feelings here. I have no advice for you, but I want to you to know that I understand how you are feeling.

There are lots of people here who know what you are going through. It's a good place to be.

Good thoughts to you,

Myzen,

yes, it is

[darkeyes]

First it is NOT a weakness, and forget about an "anonymous" med, see a pdoc, get proper evaluation and meds that are for you.
The hell with those ignorant to mental disorders, think of yourself, with professional help you life can be better and that is what matters. . . you

Please take care now,

DE

[CamW]

CCL - As everyone has said, self-medication is fraught with problems. Self-medication with lithium can be down-right dangerous. The therapeutic range of lithium (ie. the difference between minimum effective blood concentration lithium and the toxic blood concentration of lithium) is very narrow when compared with most other medications. This is why it is necessary to have frequent blood tests when starting lithium therapy (eg. 2-3 times/week).

Lithium doses also need to be titrated upward slowly. The dose of the drug is slowly increased until you arrive at a dose that is effective, but not toxic. The slow titration of the lithium also allows one's body to adjust to the drug. Several of lithium's initial side effects (eg. diarrhea, nausea, profuse sweating, tremors) can be more than uncomfortable; they can debilitating. The convulsions and coma that rarely occur from accidentally too high a starting dose can ruin your whole day.

Lithium is definitely not a drug that one should be taking without expert medical help.

As for the stigma of having a mental illness, I can relate. I wrote an article on stigma and mental health for the journal Pharmacy Practice. In research the article I found out many interesting things. Did you know that it is a fact that 23% (that's 1 in4 to 1 in 5) of the first world population will, at some point in their life, experience a mental problem severe enough to warrant professional intervention. This may not help with the stigma, but it lets you know that you are not alone.

Hey, the closet's dark; come join us in the middle of the room. - Cam

Oh, and if I hear that weakness fallacy ... myth ... whatever ... again ....I'll

[darkeyes]

I'd like to add, I found Lithobid to work great during a rough, agitated state I had been in with my Bipolar - II, it is a great med for those who tend to have manic episodes, more than depressive ones.
I being the type to lean towards more depression, the switch to Lamictal was the best thing,
Well, like they say not all people respond the same.

PS
Nice to see you again, Cam

thanks guys.... i really find your advice useful. lamictal is starting to sound like a good choice, but for now i have a bottle of depakote nearby in case the desperation gets bad enough. i am getting a few steps closer to accepting this and i will soon be able to get myself to see a psychiatrist. i still have a ways to go before that though.