Talking to my T... in my head!

I took a big leap and told my T in session today that I rehearse what I want to say in my head before each session! I asked her if it was normal, she said it is, and she wondered if I do it because I'm excited and can't wait to get it out - I said yes, partly. And then we explored it some more, and I realized that I open up to very few people, so T said it's good for me to rehearse it in my head, because it's a very big deal for me to come into therapy and open up to her like I do. My T rocks, what can I say.

I talk to t in my head when i'm having a difficult time and can't get ahold of her. I'll imagine what she would say to me to help me, or else i will picture something else she has said or done that helped me feel close to her.

i usually rehearse in my mind what i want to talk about in therapy, but not necessarily rehearsing the actual conversation that will take place.

i recount conversations in my head that have already happened. For example, when a relationship has gone badly, i will go over and over in my head what took place -- many times voicing it out loud --- almost like i'm giving a play-by-play. "I said such-and-such. Then she did X. After that, this happened." In a way, it seems kind of obsessive, and i can easily spend 2 or 3 hours at a time doing it. I think i tell myself the story over and over because i think that by doing that, i will somehow be able to figure out what went wrong, and that it will answer my unanswered questions as to why something turned out the way it did. Usually, it does not work that well, because i come up with different assumptions and possibilities about what it "could have been" that caused the problem. So i am just left with more questions.

Hi Peaches, I'd recommend both looking to both sides during the play-by-play for anything you might have skipped over in earlier tellings; and including the assumptions and possibilities that you become aware of in your play-by-play. "I said such-and-such. Then she did X. I flashed on my second-grade teacher telling me I'd better... I thought, 'That's silly, there couldn't be any connection!' " (etc.)

And of course, follow those connections a bit. Especially the ones that don't make any sense.

I do it too. Its mostly just me rehearsing what I would say to my therapist, not so much of the therapist giving me ideal advice. I don't have a therapist yet, but I do think about what our conversations might be like.

OK, I'll try that! Thanks!

Especially during these two week breaks, I really need the connection, so "talking" to her in my head is one way in which I can feel connected.