[rainbow8]

There needed to be 5 or 6 couples for this one, and my husband and I were the fifth. It was about reflective listening, so each person got a turn to speak to their spouse. We sat around a big table.

I was pleased with how I felt being in such a group with my T. I know that I related to her as a T, and also as someone more than an acquaintance. I felt comfortable. Interesting to me was that my T looks different up close. In therapy, we sat across the room from each other, and there was a lamp behind her. That covered up the imperfections we all have in our faces. When I used to see her close up, I always thought she looked different. This workshop was the first time I could really study her close up without feeling self-conscious. I think I'm gradually merging the way I thought of her with the way she really looks. I'm also taking her off the pedastal I had her on. I had a good, warm feeling being in the group with her, and that's what I've always wanted to accomplish.

When she left I thanked her, and she thanked me for coming. I know that she was pleased with the way I reacted also. She knows when I'm anxious or overly excited by her, and I wasn't. I feel proud of myself that I could "pull this off" with my T, expecially after her telling me that it wouldn't be good for me to attend. Of course I have to see how I am in the next few days or so, but I think I'll be all right.

[rainbow8]

I want to add that I'm accepting that I like my T and that it's okay to like her, and that it's okay for her to know that I like her. I think that's what makes a secure attachment for me. Sitting in that group knowing that I used to see her weekly for about 5 years just seemed okay. It's like therapy is therapy, and seeing her elsewhere is something else, but not cause for distress. It's cause for feeling good about her and about me.

[Brightheart]

I'm happy to hear that you seem to be handling things well, Rainbow. Maybe seeing your T out of the therapy room can be beneficial in some way. Maybe it's good to see her as a person other than just your therapist.

[sunrise]

Originally Posted by rainbow8

It's like therapy is therapy, and seeing her elsewhere is something else, but not cause for distress. It's cause for feeling good about her and about me.

That's fantastic. It is interesting you are coming to a secure attachment after you have left! I also found seeing my T outside of therapy to be very beneficial. I got to see him and how he is and acts outside of that special room. I got to see him interact with other people. It was reassuring because outside of therapy he is just like he is inside the room.

Did you learn some useful things at the workshop? Had your H ever met your T before?

[emilyjeanne]

Originally Posted by rainbow8

I want to add that I'm accepting that I like my T and that it's okay to like her, and that it's okay for her to know that I like her. I think that's what makes a secure attachment for me. Sitting in that group knowing that I used to see her weekly for about 5 years just seemed okay. It's like therapy is therapy, and seeing her elsewhere is something else, but not cause for distress. It's cause for feeling good about her and about me.

I am happy for you. I could never do something like this with my T. I would be very extremely self conscious. I would want to crawl under the table.

But I'm glad that things worked out for you!!!!!!!