:( if u don't know what to say hug me! :(

I'm sad. Things aren't going so good. An alter/part of me wrote in our blog to the therapist. Wrote some true things but not very nice things also to the therapist. My therapist is supposed to read it and reply. I'm afraid about the response.

((((crystalrose))))

(((((((((((((crystalrose))))))))))))

crystalrose

It's okay to feel angry, Crystalrose. Your T won't judge you.

When you say you wrote some "not very nice things" to T, do you mean *about* T or that you were expressing some feelings that you dont like having about something else? I totally understand your feelings if they are about T – it is scary to confront T.

T is there to support you, and if that involves dealing with negative feelings you have towards her, she will be happy to help. My guess is that whatever the "not very nice things" are, she will welcome your blog and it will help her to help you in your RL.

In my experience, Ts very rarely get angry with patients even when we have negative feeling towards them. They are there to absorb our s*** so they can help and understand us, but they dont take it personally, and if your T is good she wont become defensive -she will want to help you however she can. I am sure she will be pleased that you have spoken honestly about how you are truly feeling.

You did a good thing posting the blog- that is what it is there for- so you can let T know what is going on- good or bad. I bet you will be surprised and relieved at Ts response

(((((((((((( crystalrose ))))))))))))) don't fear. Your T can handle anything you can throw out there ! and won't hold it against you, but on the contrary, will help you.
hang onto your courage, all will be well.

((((((((((crystalrose))))))))))

(((((((((crystalrose))))))))

thanks everyone for the support. broke down last night into pieces over the blog. And *****trigger **** vomited everywhere, wanted to self harm and crie alot. The not very nice things were all about T! It had to be said though.. T has taken us on an emotional roller coaster. She has made things hard. My mind wasn't boring and really should have gone to the hospital but my mum took good care of me and i went to sleep early. I checked the blog and there has been no response yet. looks like T hates me or just has been hurt really bad by my blog

scared

(((((Crystalrose))))) A big hug for you. I know you are scared. Your t knows it to. I know t wont be judging you. T is there for you and hugs you too........

thanks, but i really don't think T will be there for me after this.

looks like T hates me or just has been hurt really bad by my blog
Could it be that that T is busy and hasnt read the blog yet? I know you are scared but it sounds like whatever you said was very important to you and has been on your mind for a while. If she has made things hard for you, it is a good thing that you have told her. She is there to try and make things easier for you, and if you feel you arent getting what you need from her, you need to tell her. As far as I can see, no matter what you said to her, she will be able to handle it and to work through it with you.

(((((Crystalrose))))
I'm so sorry you are having such a hard time with this. Could you write another post in you blog about how scared you are so that your T can read both at the same time? Would that help? Take care.

yeah i think that would help. But i'm a bit afraid to. I'm all switchy, splitting today. I don't know what to write to her. Just write i'm scared and thats it?

can't do it

Try to be kind to yourself. Easier said than done, I know.

((( HUGS )))

thankyou everyone! I'l tell you all what T responds with. If she does. There is no way for me to tell if she has seen it. It was a little too harsh what i wrote but it really did have to be said. Why am i feeling so bad about this

Can you say exactly that to her? Or post it on your blog?

(((((((((((crystalrose))))))))))))))

Be gentle with you! You deserve it.

thankyou everyone I don't know why T hasn't written anything back to me. she said she would read it on friday afternoon and write a short reply. She said she wouldn't get angry or anything.. Its saturday night! I think i've ****ed everything what do i do. But i didn't write what i would usually would think. It was my angry part alter.

I'm sure you and T will be able to sort this out. Maybe she is not sure how to replay in a way that would not make you feel worse. When do you see her?

(((((Crystalrose))))))
I'm sorry your T hasn't responded yet. Has she had previous experience with your angry alter? Will she know that this is who the message is coming from?
Take care!

Sorry she hasn't responded yet.
Maybe something came up and she wasn't able to.

Try not to worry too much

Take Care