[Martina]

Lately it seems like we're getting nowhere in therapy. She keeps telling me the same crap over and over and over again, and it's just not working. It's like I know what she wants me to do, I just don't know how to actually DO it!

I have a hard time letting things go from the past. So she tells me to, rather than dwell on what I did wrong, focus on what I'm doing right right now. Okay, I try that. Works for about a minute. Then I'm back where I was.

My husband is getting angry at me too. I really should be doing better by now. It's been a year and a half of therapy. I've come a long way, but I'm still the same old person that doesn't change.

How do I change myself?

[Sannah]

Originally Posted by Martina

I know what she wants me to do, I just don't know how to actually DO it!

I have a hard time letting things go from the past.

I'm still the same old person that doesn't change.

How do I change myself?

There are some steps missing between "I know what she wants me to do" and "I don't know how to do it". Or maybe what is missing is what YOU want to do. Your T has to start where you are at. Maybe she doesn't understand where you are at? If I want to lead someone out of a dark tunnel I have to find where they are at first.

[billieJ]

I like Sannah's wise response! Additionally, when you say you "should" be getting better or that your husband says you "should", should is a long way from could, and it is a word that is best shied away from. Perhaps your husband "should" go to therapy with you. I admire the fact that you have a husband, as I miss having one, but sometimes the misunderstanding of the other's conditions and confusions are a pain in the dierrierre - excuse spelling but I thought it would be a more appropriate word. Family therapy might be a plan. Anything to give H some insight. Perhaps he could do some reading in this forum? billieJ