[TheTrishgu]

makes me anxious. And when it takes too long, I just don't call back because I justify to myself that I wouldn't like them anyway.
I hate therapy. I hate talking to people about me.

[polarsmom]

Originally Posted by TheTrishgu

makes me anxious. And when it takes too long, I just don't call back because I justify to myself that I wouldn't like them anyway.
I hate therapy. I hate talking to people about me.

I can relate to what you are saying. I did NOT want to be in therapy. I was annoyed that my doctor almost forced me to go. And it took me a good month to schedule my first appointment. And the first appt. basically sucked. I wasn't open to it at all. And I told the T that I was humoring my doctor, and that I didn't think it was going to do me any good. But had to at least try so I can continue w/ my meds. He was like Okay, well we'll meet up a few times and take it from there. Whatever, but I don't plan on doing much more than that! Well, that was 5 months ago.

Turned out I needed to be in therapy. It took me awhile to feel somewhat comfortable with my T. And I have talked it out with others here. I am still struggling. (I still get anxious before each session). After a few sessions it made me feel good that I was honestly putting forth some effort to get better. I am taking care of ME for a change. And that in itself has helped me feel better about myself. I am working on being a better person. To actually feel good inside instead of pretending. That's my ultimate goal. To genuinely feel happy.

Make that appointment. You may even like your T right from the start! But then again, you may not. Who knows? But at least give it a shot.

[TheTrishgu]

I made the appt.

I see her tomorrow. And I don't want to be the flake that I normally am when I go to these people. I get into automatic mode where I act like a "normal" person and pretend nothings really wrong.

Good start, Trishgu! I hope it goes well. Maybe take a list of things you want to discuss.

[sunrise]

Originally Posted by TheTrishgu

I see her tomorrow. And I don't want to be the flake that I normally am when I go to these people. I get into automatic mode where I act like a "normal" person and pretend nothings really wrong.

The very first time I went to see my T, I waited alone in his waiting room a long time. He had this stone on the table, inscribed with these words: "Be Yourself." That helped me. Trishgu, the T wants to see you, not the person you pretend to be. Seeing that rock in my T's office seemed to be an invitation to be honest. It sounds like you already have a lot of insight, Trishgu, and that helps tremendously in therapy. Good luck tomorrow!

[polarsmom]

I'm so glad to hear that you made an appointment! Let us know how it goes/what your first impression of this T.

[moonrise]

Sunrise has some good words. Just be who you are. There's not much you can say that will freak a T out.

I remember getting so anxious about my first appointment that I threw up in the bathroom. It gets easier.