![]() |
FAQ/Help |
Calendar |
Search |
#26
|
||||
|
||||
I think it's a good idea to talk w/your T about this. I also don't think you should blame yourself for having made that comment about the skills being "stupid", bloom is exactly right in that your T needs to be able to withstand those kinds of outbursts and more without just dropping the work.
Heck, after a year in DBT I was in a bad place and told my T one day in session "I think I've learned the DBT skills, and figured out the goal of DBT, which is to teach me how to act in a way that the rest of the world finds more acceptable". I was totally speaking out of frustration and honestly was probably trying to hurt my T by saying that. I'm so glad she didn't say ok, good, you're done then, bye! She understood. She wasn't HAPPY and she made sure later to check whether that's really what I believe about DBT or not, but she understood. anyway, I hope this makes sense, I'm a little emotional at the moment so I might be rambling just a little, sorry ![]() |
#27
|
||||
|
||||
Peaches- I am so sorry for coming back so late to this thread. I am reading through slowly, so sorry if its all been said and here I am, saying it again....I relate to so much of what you are going through and how you describe yourself in therapy. Either shut down and unable to access, or as if a dam has opened and a flood of emotions comes pouring out of you. And I relate to your therapist not knowing what to do.
So often I feel like an unsolvable puzzle. And it is a very hopeless feeling. Quote:
|
#28
|
||||
|
||||
Quote:
Quote:
Not that you are going to change Ts, but another thought is that if you should start with another one, you are not the same Peaches who began with this T. When I started with ftt, it seemed like I was started from scratch. And, of course, she didnt know me and who I am, but I am so much better able to describe what I need and who I am to her that the process is much faster and much more...."efficient" if you know what I mean. |
#29
|
||||
|
||||
About changing Ts. I have changed Ts 3 times. It wasn't like starting over because each time I was more aware of my issues and I got to them much quicker. I understood the therapy process better, too. So you don't necessarily have to start from scratch, though it depends on how quickly you feel connected to your T. I was fortunate to feel very comfortable with my current T right from day 1, so I "jumped right in" and got through the basics very quickly.
Peaches: I know you don't want to see anyone else, but wouldn't you consider having a consultation, at least, with someone else? I hate to see you struggle so long with the same issues. I think you're getting better, but who knows? A new person may have some ideas even if you don't switch. |
#30
|
||||
|
||||
Quote:
You stick one finger into each end of the braided tube. When you go to pull your fingers out, the tube tightens up and grips your fingers -- tighter, the harder you pull. It feels like an unsolvable puzzle as long as you panic and keep pulling. Once you get the hang of getting out of it, it turns out to be so simple that you wonder how you could ever have fallen for it. Quote:
|
#31
|
||||
|
||||
Quote:
Tayquincy, I'm glad your experience with DBT was good. I see my t today, and maybe i will bring up the subject of going back to spending some of our session on DBT. I believe my t is also primarily psychodynamic, like yours. I know that i am very attached to her, probably too much, though in an insecure way (I want so badly to feel close with her but can't allow myself to let her caring in most of the time.) My t has never told me she loved me, though she has said she cares a great deal about me. Sometimes, i wonder if i could just set aside my defenses and let her caring in, maybe it would make a big difference for me. It sounds like you benefit more from staying in your adult frame of mind with your new t. I would say that i am definitely more functional when i stay in my adult mind. But then, i am also kind of numb and not really in touch with my pain or issues at all, so it's hard to process anything in therapy. When i am in my adult mind, i am strong and don't need help. It's when my guard is down and child parts of me begin to show that my real pain and problems surface. It seems that is where the work needs to be. But i can see how relating mostly in a regressed state could keep me from being able to access my own adult strength. I seem to always be in either one state or the other, and that tends to be one of my biggest problems. No middle ground where i can keep my logic but also access my emotions and issues. I do view my t as a mother figure. This is true. But at the same time, i know she can't actually "be" like a mom to me by being available 24/7. I also know she doesn't love me the way she would love her own children. But i do know she cares about me alot. Not having felt close to my own mom and always craving a maternal relationship, i feel the need for one now, and i don't actually think it's a bad thing as long as it doesn't sidetrack the issues that i need to work on. What is potentially damaging for me, I think, is the realization that the relationship can't continue indefinitely this way. At some point in the near future, my t is going to retire and i'll have to make my way on my own. So the nurturing maternal-feeling relationship is only something i can benefit from temporarily, unlike a mother-daughter relationship that can remain close indefinitely. That's the hard part that really hurts. When she retires (a year or so down the line), I'll be forced to either quit therapy entirely or find a new t. I don't even want to think about that now. Like your t, my t also thinks my borderline traits are caused by PTSD and that i am not truly borderline. She believes that resolving the PTSD will also reduce the BPD traits. I'm glad you're reaching the point where you can see the light at the end of the tunnel and that you feel you'll be ready when you terminate next year. I really appreciate your input. I |
Reply |
|