[Chronic]

Hi, I'm new here so I hope its ok to jump straight in with a question

I was reading Thimble's post on what if you dont want to get better,and it struck a chord with me.

Ive been in t for about 18 months, and at the beginning had a very clear idea of what I wanted to get out of it. As time has gone on more and more issues have surfaced, to the point where I am totally confused, and I now have no idea why I go to therapy.

I know that I dont feel happy, that my life is nowhere near how I want it to be and that I have huge relationship and trust problems, oh, and I am bpd, but I just dont know how or if I want to change. When t asks me what I want to get out of therapy, I have no idea. I usually say that I want to work the issues above, but deep down I dont. But at the same time I cant stand being and feeling like I am for a minute longer. I really like t, and i wouldnt want to see anyone else.

So, Im wondering if anyone has been through this and managed to work through it with t, or whether I should just stop going until I know what I am going there for, or any other advice you might have??

[3velniai]

Welcome to PC It sounds to me like you know why you are in therapy, and that's a starting point. Have you tried to talk with T about it? It might help you understand what you really want/need.
I had no idea what I want from therapy when I started it (it sort of just happened) and I have only a very vague picture of what I want from it almost 1,5 years later. When my T asked me what I want from therapy last time, I just told her that I have no idea, it's just that I hate how thing are now and want them to be different, but don't even know how. So we agreed that if I figure something out, I will tell her, and now I just keep seeing her and we're slowly talking about different things that come up.

[Chronic]

Thanks. I am glad I am not the only one who doesnt know how I want things to be in the end- it makes me feel a bit better! I will talk things over with t this week, I was just worried that he would be mad that I dont have goal

[sittingatwatersedge]

Chronic (welcome to PC ),

I hope you get a lot of "this sounds about right" responses, because I'm in the same position.

It's my observation that this is part of the journey. Speaking for myself, I found it immensely helpful to read a particular blog, Behind the Couch (which is now closed but archives are still out there at http://couched.wordpress.com/post-archive/) Great wisdom and insights there.

Good luck!! Come back and post any time. You will find wonderful, supportive friends here.