how do you know when to stick it out and when to quit therapy?

anyone have any ideas or suggestions? i'm feeling pretty ambivalent about whether or not to continue. thanks.

Bloom, This is common when in therapy..just keep talking about it with your T and something you are not aware of will come out of it.

(((((((((((((bloom))))))))))))))

I wish I knew the answer to this!!!

For me, there have been times in therapy when I was *SURE* that it was time to quit. But I've gone for a session every time, and T and I have talked, and I've given therapy another try....and for ME, that was the right thing to do. I'm really glad I didn't quit when I thought it was the right time to do it..because I would have missed out on the chance to learn to work through conflict, to really trust someone else, to learn how to stay connected through bad times as well as good times. That is my experience.

I think if I had tried to work things out with T at those times and he hadn't been willing to HEAR me, to try to understand me, to look at his part, then maybe finding a new T would have been the right thing to do. I'm lucky because T is very open with his thought process, sp I know when he is struggling along with me. That makes it easier to know he's sincere and to keep trying to work it out.

It's a hard question, bloom. I guess what I've learned is to not be too quick to quit. It's worth it to take a little bit of time to see if things can be worked out.

I'm sorry you're in such a tough spot!!

Here are things I have for knowing if/when to QT

1) Unethical behavior at any time
2) If I no longer trust T or feel safe with T and the rupture can not be repaired.
3) When my level of healing has exceeded the expertise of T
4) When therapy creates more problems for me than it resolves.

I read a helpful book called "When To Say Good-bye To Your Therapist". I think the author is Johnson.

Have you accomplished all your goals in therapy? If not, I think that is a good reason to stay. Or are you thinking of quitting because you don't seem to be making progress toward your goals? Or the progress is too slow for you? I think the reason you want to quit will help determine the answer to your question.

I did quit therapy with my first therapist and it was absolutely the right decision (even though I didn't really make a decision--I just kind of accidentally quit). We had ceased to make progress--I was completely stuck. When I asked her for ideas on how to get unstuck, she said I could keep coming to see her and we would do more of the same (fairly shallow talk therapy). I think when I realized she had nothing more to offer me and that continuing to see her would not help me get unstuck, I became able to quit. Later I found a therapist who had a larger skill set and could help me.

I don't know if that is similar at all to what you are facing. Can you say more about why you are considering quitting therapy?

Do you mean whether or not to continue therapy or to continue therapy with this therapist?

Yeah, that's the question I was going to ask.

I for one feel that I am probably going to be in some type of psychotherapy for the rest of my life. As long as it benefits me, I see no reason to stop it. I also feel that most people, whether they have a diagnosis or not, could benefit from counseling in some form or another.

When I got married, my Medicaid stopped and my husband's insurance coverage began. Therefore I was no longer covered by the program I was in, and needed to change everything over to a new system. This meant a new GP, a new p-doc, and a new T. Everything.

Well, in my initial session with the new T I made exactly the above statement, that I expected to be in therapy the rest of my life. He lectured me about automatic negative assumptions, without even bothering to ask me why I thought that. Then he didn't say anything about setting up another appointment with him.

I knew then and there it was time to quit *that* therapist, and I got the one I have now. Fortunately, he is a very good match for me.

I would like to caution people in general, in case someone reads this who needs to know, don't give up on "therapy" because you have a lousy "therapist." You have the right to get a new one. The way I see it, I'm the one treating my illness. My therapist is the assistant I hire to help me do that. If my therapist isn't doing the job to my satisfaction, I will fire that one and get another one.

it would most likely be both since i haven't ever found therapy to be that helpful to me and i've done a fair amount of it. but i've been doing things a bit differently lately and so maybe i'm learning some new tricks--most of which i've learned from all of you in this forum.

sunny--i've been trying to work thru a conflict with my T and it's been really rough. i haven't been too impressed with how she's handled things, or what she originally did, and it's made me wonder if i can continue with her, especially if i'm taking things to a new level. i'm thinking i'm probably going to stick it out for now even though i have been rather disappointed by her in some ways.

Bloom - always keep in mind that you come first in therapy. YOUR healing is what is important in that office. It is your right to get the most out of the time you spend in session. My advice is to be as honest with T as you can be about the situation. Listen to what T says in return. Being disappointed by others is a natural part of being alive - so maybe this will allow you the safe environment to handle that type of problem.