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Old Jan 06, 2010, 12:36 PM
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Sannah Sannah is offline
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Hi MUE, you have to do this step by step. I would think that the first step would be just therapy discussing all the feelings that you have that are all locked away and still need to be processed? After this purging then the next step might be more clear? I would think that it would be in a trusting relationship not in a "no relationship but lets have sex" relationship. I can see how this would seem safer, though. Safer because it skips the emotional intimacy which has been or is so hard for all of us who have had less than fortunate upbringings. You can do this MUE! It will be YOUR journey of self discovery.........
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  #27  
Old Jan 06, 2010, 10:32 PM
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chaotic13 chaotic13 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mixedup_emotions View Post
Can you share more about how you worked on your issues with touch? Was this done in therapy? If so, what does that kind of work entail? It scares me to death to even think about addressing that issues.
Well it has been a very challenging but incredibly rewarding experience. It started with my work providing me an opportunity to take some masage therapy courses on their dime. Intellectually I was interested in this but psychologically/ emotionally this was a very scary endeavor. Honestly, if I hadn't already been in therapy at the time... I would have surely said, "thanks but no thanks." But as it turns out...possibly by divine design...I was in therapy AND had just worked though some of my trust issues with my T and I decided the time is right to leap.

I started with a series of therapeutic massage courses that focused on specific techniques delivered to one part of the body at a time (primarily the extremities). These were VERY challenging to complete but luckily the courses were spaced out over a few months and I was able to endure them and then talk about the experience in my T sessions. At this point it was all about surviving the exposure.

Next I took another series of MT courses that were also medically focused. Only this time the instructor was...well, simply an incredible healer. Again these courses were spaced out enough so that I had a few T appointments in between each one. Between having an a master healer directing the course, my T providing great support to help me handle the confusion and flooding that I experienced, finding a good partner to work with during class my touch anxiety started to lower and overtime healing gradually started to occur. I went from not just surviving via disconnecting to saying connected and experiencing.

After working in the classroom setting, I then took a very personal and very difficult leap by scheduling a private session with the master healer. This was THE hardest thing for me to do. After I schedule my T REALLY step up and provided me with a lot of out of session support. Honestly, the stuff that surfaced the week before this private session was very scary but my T handled it really well and in the end it was what needed to come out. The priviate session not a traditional massage session but a Zero Balancing session. During this technique your fully clothes and it mainly an energy-based technique where the MT hands are place along meridians. This was probably the first time that I can actually say that enjoyed experiencing touch. I felt really calm and grounded after that session. Since that session when well, I schedule a second session a month later this time to do craniosacral therapy. This is another technique where you are fully clothes and uses static hand holds- not actual massage strokes. During this session... IDK what happened was incredible. At one point it felt like I had multiple hands holding me (in a good way-not traumatic at all). What happened next was more incredible--My inner child literally surfaced and was held. I can't describe it any other way...the healer just recreated an internal therapeutic space and she crawled right out and snuggled into it.

Needless to say after that session my T was again there to help me accept that i was not going insane, that I was OK, what I experienced was OK.

Since then my touch anxiety (with regard to safe, non-sexual touch) has really kind of faded away. I'm still having a lot of problems with sexual touch situation, but I am SOOOO much better with other touch situations. This past holiday I was actually able to hug and be hugged without the awkwardness and without having my skin start to crawl. In fact, today I was in a small store with a friend, we were there for a while chatting with the owner (salesperson), and out of the blue she ended up giving us a hug when we left. I still don't really get what that was about all about but... I let her hug me. I was like OK whatever just a hug. Wait 'til my T hears about that one! LOL

ANYWAY MEU that's the summary of how my Touch Intregration Plan (TIP) worked. I guess it was basically short, tense but very safe touch exposures, followed by great T support, and of course some Divine help in placing all the right people in my life at exactly the right time. When I look back it the past year has been an incredible healing journey.
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Thanks for this!
FooZe
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