Feelings make us feel real.

oh, yeah the emotions in movies and TV show, they sure know how to manipulate us don't they? lol I am almost comfortable with crying in sad movies in front of people. Most of the time I am thankful it is dark in the room. This weekend I watched an artist movie called Local Color and oh, my, it really got me all chocked up.

Seems like we should have a forum just for people like us, so we can work on this issue together. It seems to be rather normal for us who have gone through what he have.

Zoo,

It was very overwhelming. I cried and cried, I ended up pulling my legs up and curling them into the chair as well, and even began shaking. I don't even know why but that's when my T came over to me and asked if she could touch my arm and was saying that I was safe, she was right there with me...She was really great about it.

She kept reinforcing that the things that happened to me were not my fault ect. She had me try to look at her because I had my face buried the whole time, I was finally able to after I stopped crying. I shed a few tears when she was right there looking at me and talking to me but not like i did while my face was hidden. I felt very safe with her when she got down on her knees on the floor next to my chair and was chatting with me, she had me squeeze her hand and look at her, as well as around the room so that she knew I knew where I was. She said that it was really good that I let go some with her because I work so hard at not crying in front of her and have even shared that with her in the past that I hold back hard like that.

I think it's different for everyone, it just happened. At one point I even had to tell myself the heck with it just let them flow.

Exotic,
Yeah, I would cry at the tiniest thing watching movies growing up but I could literally watch anything. Now when I am watching I tend to analyze everything and it really starts to bother me. I hate seeing bad things happen to people in movies now. The change is kind of interesting, even in real life, if people argue or get upset in front of me, I don't show that it bother's me but it can be very overwhelming for me.

wow, that is so moving. Really. I can feel how present your T was with you in that moment, she must have felt that you needed her reassurance and her to help you stay grounded, and she was able to give you just what you needed without making you feel like you should stop crying. Is that what they call attunement?
Regardless, I'm really, really glad your T was right there with you, hangingon. I can imagine how I would feel if that were me, and I hope some day I am able to let down my defenses enough to cry in front of my T.

How did you feel afterwards?

This thread has been amazing, I'm learning so much and finding out that other people are going through the same emotional growth that I am...I'm kind of at a loss for words.

Zoo,

Yeah, she was pretty attuned, she let me cry for a bit before she came over, she talked to me from her chair but I think when the shaking became noticeable, that's when she came and bent down next to me.

I sat in the chair for a bit after and she just talked with me making sure I was ok. She asked if I was able to drive home. I said yes, then she asked that same question a bit later and I said yes. She kept me about 15 min extra. Then she gave me a big hug and as she hugged me she told to take my time driving home.

I was pretty exhausted that night, totally drained but I was ok.

Amazing story hanging on... It's huge that you allowed yourself to go there. Crying is so exhausting, but I have a feeling holding it in, takes even more energy. Your T sounds so tender and so nice.

Hangingon...that T sessions sounds very healing. I think my inner child really wants to learn to cry, but... Tears just don't come to me. I have noticed that I am feeling much more connected with some people. I think I really feel things deeply now, it just doesn't manifest as tears. I would really like to know that I could curl up on that couch and cry if I felt like it.