I am now completely fearful of trying to meet a T.
I was home all day and couldn't even pick up the phone to try.

this past T just enforced my feelings of being a 100% bad person
don't they care how they impact someone?

[rainbow8]

(((((Solarwind)))))

That one T was a bad one, NOT YOU!! I feel so bad for you that she made you scared to even call another T. Did you look at the psychologytoday site yet? You can read the descriptions first to see what the Ts will be like. Or, do you have anyone you could ask for a recommendation? Someone you trust who knows what you are looking for? A family dr. who could make a referral for you?

Most Ts are NOT like the one you saw. Their job is to help people, not hurt them! I think, and others will tell you the same thing, that it is highly unlikely that you will have that awful experience again. I've seen 2 prospective Ts so far, and talked to a few others on the phone, and they all tried to be helpful. I think you just got a "bad apple" and it's NOT going to happen again.

I know it's hard, but you can do this.

[BlueMoon6]

I remember when I was calling potential Ts and one woman who I thought would be nice, but maybe young, when I saw her pic and read her little thingy on the computer was awful on the phone. Shooting questions at me and her requirements for ending completely with my old T before seeing her. SHe said all this not even knowing anything about my relationship with my other T or anything about me! It was about her requirements. Needless to say, I canceled the appt I made minutes after I made it.

You saw some Ts who you wouldnt like. I think you can tell a lot about a T on the phone if she/he allows that. I liked the fact that my T (and other one I liked) talked to me at length on the phone. She seemed to understand what I wanted.

Maybe, Solar, it would help to write some things down so you are clearer about what you want. This way you are not feeling around in the dark aas to whether you like someone or not. You will have some kind of direction with questions to ask and then you can evaluate whether their answer is comfortable for you or not.

When it became clearer to me what I was looking for, the T search got less confusing. It was easier to eliminate some fromn all those names.

[jennaorgana]

hugs from me!!

it is really difficult to find a right T. it's kinda like chemotherapy.... sometimes it is really bad and it makes you really sick... you can literally feel like ***** after meeting some of these unhealthy therapists... and then, you get the right combination.

your T should be able to call you out on your ****. he/she shouldn't be too nice to you, especially if they are promoting an unhealthy behavior. constructive criticism should be very important in your relationship. you should be able to be super honest with them, and they back to you.

it takes time to find the right person. you gotta think... it shouldn't be too easy to find someone to trust on all levels. it's like picking someone to marry!! but anyways, don't worry about it. you will find someone perfect for you.