[lifelesstraveled]

why do therapists thank you....us for sharing hard or shameful stuff with them??? i had a bit of an episode this past weekend and i ended up emailing her about it and pretty much asked her not to hate me. she thanked me because she said that what i wrote revealed a lot about myself and she thanked me for sharing it with her. what is the thank you for???

[jexa]

I think the thank you is, you just helped me learn more about you, and I am glad, because I need to know these things about you to be able to help. T's are grateful when we share because they want to do their jobs well. So when we feel able to share, it helps our T's do their jobs. It's like taking some of their work and doing it for them, in a way..

My pdoc has thanked me several times over the years for letting him "in" to what is going on with me. He appreciates my trust in him and my honesty. He knows that it is no small feat.

[deliquesce]

you know when someone tells you their deep, dark, painful secrets? a part of you (or at least me) feels special that they have trusted me with this stuff that they can't really bare to trust with many other people.

pdoc says the same sort of thing with me - that he feels honoured that i trust him because he knows how guarded i keep my secrets. he knows that my telling him is all a part of healing anyway, but he feels many things towards me for my disclosure also.

Originally Posted by deliquesce

you know when someone tells you their deep, dark, painful secrets? a part of you (or at least me) feels special that they have trusted me with this stuff that they can't really bare to trust with many other people.

pdoc says the same sort of thing with me - that he feels honoured that i trust him because he knows how guarded i keep my secrets. he knows that my telling him is all a part of healing anyway, but he feels many things towards me for my disclosure also.

I think this is it in my case too. My t has said to me that she is deeply honored that I trust her and am willing to let her walk with me on this journey. She sees it as a gift to watch and help someone heal.

When I think of it that way--that she is honored--it makes it easier to share more and trust more.

[WePow]

Trust is something very special. They are thanking us for giving them trust. They know that for those who have been through the fire, that trust is NOT something we go around serving to just any ole' person who happens along.

[writingwithink]

I would assume that if patients shared more with their Ts, it would make the job easier. There are so many things that should be shared with my T, including major moments of enlightment as a result of what was discussed in session, but there's a wall that won't let it out. I haven't figured out why the wall is there, but if it ever comes down, I know it would open me up to her help so much more. And I'm sure if I let her in on the fact that I'm struggling with this wall she could probably help, but I haven't even told her that.

Wishing you more good moments along your journey.

writing

[Sannah]

Writing, so do you have a plan to start sharing more with your T?

[Melbadaze]

No T has never said thank you for sharing and I am so glad she hasn't.

[ECHOES]

Why the 'thank you'?
I think it is because they know and they are recognizing and respecting that these are things we choose to share, that we could choose to share them or choose to not share them. And as someone already said, these things help them know us more deeply and understand where we are now.

[sunrise]

I like when my therapist is appreciative to me. When I talk about hard things with him, he learns better how to help me. He really is appreciative that I am helping him to know how to help me better. I really like that he takes the time to thank me. It is reinforcing, in a way, and helps me do it again. Like Deli's and griffin's Ts, mine has also said he is honored that I have shared something with him. On the flip side, when I am unable to share something really difficult, T says things like "I respect your ambivalence in not sharing that with me." He lets me know whether I share or not, he is good with it, and there is no pressure. I think if a T were pressuring a person to share, "I can't help you unless you talk to me!", it could have the opposite effect and make them back off even more.

I also thank my therapist for sharing with me. Does anyone else do that? I think it is helpful to him if I am little more informative than just thanking him, though. Instead of telling him just, "thank you for sharing that with me," I will say "thank you for sharing that with me, it really helped me understand better what I am going through, etc." or "when you shared that with me, I didn't feel so alone" or something like that. The more specific, the better, actually, so he get to know me better, help me better, and we can strengthen our relationship. I think this generalizes beyond thanks for sharing to letting them know what they do that does help us. We can help shape the T's behavior during session into what works best for us, if we only let them know, e.g. "when you did __________, it really helped me to _________."