[darkrunner]

So, I had a really 'good' weekend re: ed behaviors. But my weight was up yesterday and I was overcome with panic.
I didn't know what to do, so I left a message for T telling her I was freaking out.

Last night she called back and left very stern message saying she wanted to 'remind my brain' that I was still underweight and that I need to focus on my goals of recovery and being there for my children.
She said a lot more about not getting caught up in the distorted thoughts, and feeling proud of my accomplishment.

I think it helped. I'm so glad she called back.
This is so scary for me, and very sad. I feel like I am turing my back on a friend (eating disorder)....I just want to cry.
But maybe I am also glimpsing what new 'friends' I can have without it.

Anyway, I'm glad I have T's message. I will probably listen to it 100 times before I see her on Thursday.

[imapatient]

Originally Posted by darkrunner

So, I had a really 'good' weekend re: ed behaviors. But my weight was up yesterday and I was overcome with panic.
I didn't know what to do, so I left a message for T telling her I was freaking out.

Last night she called back and left very stern message saying she wanted to 'remind my brain' that I was still underweight and that I need to focus on my goals of recovery and being there for my children.
She said a lot more about not getting caught up in the distorted thoughts, and feeling proud of my accomplishment.

I think it helped. I'm so glad she called back.
This is so scary for me, and very sad. I feel like I am turing my back on a friend (eating disorder)....I just want to cry.
But maybe I am also glimpsing what new 'friends' I can have without it.

Anyway, I'm glad I have T's message. I will probably listen to it 100 times before I see her on Thursday.

Good!


And I can relate to listening to a T's voice message over and over.........it can be so soothing can't it?

[Melbadaze]

glad T's mesage helped!

[BlueMoon6]

Oh (((DR)))) I can SO relate to this. My weight was low the last couple of weeks and I was thinking this just isnt the way I want to be. So thin and focused on how it feels to be so incontrol of all of that. I eased up on weighing myself and I feel a whole lot more present and even able to accomplish more but it is SCARY. I am afraid of where it could lead me etc. It IS like losing a freind. Its like losing the comfort that I am in control, but actually the ED is in control of me. When I ease up, I feel more involved in my life.

How was Ts message stern? Was it okay with you? Did you feel comforted or no? I think it IS about reminding our brains where we want to go and what we want from this life. Did she sound like she was with you? I mean, was the stern-ness okay?

(((((((((((darkrunner)))))))))))

Wow - I am SO impressed that you reached out to T, and that she responded by giving you what you needed. That is SUCH good work!!

My T left me a very stern message once, totally different from his usual messages, and in the moment, it really helped. It was what I needed...some boundaries around what behavior is okay, and what's not okay (it was about SI). It felt good that he cared enough to leave that kind of message.

Giving up bad coping skills is hard work. And I do think there is grieving involved. I try to remember that I can feel sad and get better at the same time, and that it won't always be this hard.

[darkrunner]

Originally Posted by imapatient

And I can relate to listening to a T's voice message over and over.........it can be so soothing can't it?

Yes! I like being able to listen to her 'voice of reason' anytime I need to.

Originally Posted by Melbadaze

glad T's mesage helped!

Me too. Thanks Melbadaze.

Originally Posted by BlueMoon6

Its like losing the comfort that I am in control, but actually the ED is in control of me. When I ease up, I feel more involved in my life.

Thanks Blue Moon. This is a great insight - and great that you have so much awareness. I hope I start feeling more involved in my life, like you described.

Originally Posted by BlueMoon6

How was Ts message stern? Was it okay with you? Did you feel comforted or no? I think it IS about reminding our brains where we want to go and what we want from this life. Did she sound like she was with you? I mean, was the stern-ness okay?

Oh yes, her stern-ness was totally ok. I think she meant it to be forceful enough to push out the distorted thoughts. She sounded very sure of what she was saying, very authoritative in a way. I think her 'voice of reason' has to be more effective than the 'ED voice' . I felt like she was with me, and wanted to help me keep fighting the ED voice. Actually, I can't think of anything in the message that I would have wanted her to say differently, or anything I wish she had added.

Originally Posted by treehouse

(((((((((((darkrunner)))))))))))

Wow - I am SO impressed that you reached out to T, and that she responded by giving you what you needed. That is SUCH good work!!

My T left me a very stern message once, totally different from his usual messages, and in the moment, it really helped. It was what I needed...some boundaries around what behavior is okay, and what's not okay (it was about SI). It felt good that he cared enough to leave that kind of message.

Thank you Treehouse.
Believe it or not, I remember when T left you that message. I remember how much you scared me with that SI incident, and I was glad he left a stern message and that it helped.

Originally Posted by darkrunner

I remember how much you scared me with that SI incident, and I was glad he left a stern message and that it helped.

[jexa]

I am SO GLAD!!!!!! That this T is finally!!!!!! meeting your needs!

yep, me too! listen over and over sometimes to make my self believe what he is saying Somehow it is more concrete when you hear the same message over and over, it is like i finally start to believe him again...

sorry to snag the thread... just hadda comment

[mobius]

Love it when therapists are able to give us just what we need Sounds like a good feeling, darkrunner.