So...I've been thinking that it would be so nice to have something from my T to take with me when I move. A handwritten letter or something personal of hers that would help me feel connected after I go.

T has written me notes and a card in the past--both spontaneous. So, I'm thinking she might actually do something like this without my even having to ask. It would be so nice and thoughtful.

BUT... If for some reason she doesn't think to do this on her own, I will be so disappointed.

So, I'm thinking I should be prepared to ask her for something to take with me. But I don't know how to do that. And I don't want to ask if she was already planning to do it on her own. It seems like it would be more meaningful if she just did it....not just because I asked her to.

I'm not sure what I'm asking advice on here. I guess I'm curious if others have asked their Ts for something like this and how did you do it? And did it mean less because you had to ask for it?

ps. I know everyone here has big big stuff going on right now, but I'd appreciate any support or responses, no matter how brief. I'm feeling really alone with this upcoming move. It's so sad and hard.

[ruffy]

I think your T would find it very moving that you would want to keep something to remember her by. She may have a very heavy caseload and may not think to offer you something..So I hope you wont feel offended if she does not. I think you should ask her. Sorry youre feeling sad. Moving is such a very hard thing to do. Be well. Hugs and kisses

(((((((((((griffin))))))))))))

I definitely, definitely think you should ask her.

Therapy is teaching me that my needs are okay, and I can ask to have my needs met....but that I can't really expect anyone to just "know" what I need. I would hate so much for you to not ask her and then not have anything to take with you. It seems too important to not ask, you know??

If it were me, I would just say "I'm really going to miss you when I move and I was wondering if I could have something to remember you by". Then the two of you could talk about what would feel good.

I'm sorry that this big, hard transition is coming up for you.

[mobius]

Yes, definitely ask! I understand that it might feel "better" if she did it spontaneously, but I don't think that if you ask that it downgrades the thoughtfulness or genuineness of what she would give in any way. Plus, I know I'd be more disappointed if I didn't ask and didn't receive anything.

Moving is so, so hard. I had to leave a wonderful therapist of a year and a half because I was moving, and it was really difficult. That was almost six years ago now, and I still think about her. Thankfully it's not difficult anymore - and I did find a new therapist to connect with down the road. Is that something that you've thought about?

[ECHOES]

I think that would be wonderful!
What about saying, "You have written some great notes to me in the past, and I would love to have one to take with me "

Will you be leaving her with one as well?

[WePow]

man ............(((((((((( griffin ))))))))))
I say you should ask for sure! Another thing you might want to do that a friend of mine did when they moved to another state away from a T they really loved - but a T who would NEVER EVER give a client a hug but said he wanted to but it was his policy. Well, my friend took in a teddy bear that they got just for this... and asked if T would please hug the teddy and then give it back. That way she would have her hug with her all the time. He was very happy to do that for her and she still has "T-Teddy" with her. LOL

[theave]

I think some of the suggestions of how to word it are great - and I think having something from her is important for you, so asking would be a good idea. I wish I had done that when I moved, all I have is some official letters in my medical notes, and I miss the 2 main people who were involved in my care so much still.

I hope all goes well with your move, and that you find a new therapist you can work with soon.

[Perna]

How many times do you see her before you go? I would bring her an old note/letter she's given you if you have one and "trade" her :-) tell her you'd like an updated one for your move, LOL. You could give her the old one as you're leaving a session and give her time to write you a nice new one when she's not busy or something before your next or last session.

[gravyyy]

I would ask if I were you. Just think.... maybe you have to ask her to give you something but it will be her idea what to give you! Best of both worlds.

Thanks for all the support and advice.

I see her 5 more times, I think? I'm trying not to watch the calendar too much. I just want to be present and enjoy the time I have.

I'm going to give it more thought before I ask. I don't feel like I can muster up the courage to ask right now.

[Chronic]

I would definitely ask too. Actually, I probably wouldnt because I would be too scared, but I think that T would be touched at you asking for something personal from her. Its obviously important to you to have something from T, so please bring it up with her- dont regret not saying anything to her