[WePow]

Well, I went to session today and T said he just saw me out with my friend at lunch. It is there in his area because T works where I live. So I go there a lot for lunch. The funny part is that I did not see T !!
I am always closed off socially anyway and never look up much when walking around in public. So T got to see what I was like in public.
I felt bad though because I missed the chance to see T in public.

Anyone else ever had T spot them in public and then tell you about it in session?

I think that's cool!

I haven't had that experience....though I always keep an eye out for my T in public. I've never seen her unexpectedly. I kind of wish I would sometime...

I'm pretty sure if T saw me she would come up to me and say hello. Unless I looked to be deep in conversation with someone else, I guess.

Not this t, but I was always running into my 1st t in public. We went out for a snack a couple of times just because that was where we were both headed anyway. It was nice to just chit chat with him instead doing therapy all the time. It's probably why we still keep in touch 25 years later.

[purple_fins]

Sounds like it was a comfortable experience for you that's nice.

I would never want to see T. outside of the office The psychologist I used to see was at a book store that had just opened-- he was having coffee with his wife and I looked over towards the coffee shop and there he sat-- looking at me and he smiled. ...... I was like oh my gosh!! I had to get out of there ASAP as the anxiety went through the roof.

I tend to(at least, I think this is it) put people in "compartments" -- that's how I can cope with them and feel I can depend on that--- when they are out of their "compartment"-- It's overwhelming. Like seeing a boss at the store(when I regard him as being at work) or seeing the doctor at a restaurant (when I think of him as being at the clinic)..... it throws me.....

--- he(the psychologist I was seeing) even offered to meet me a few times for coffee and I never could do that-- yipes!!

I think it's good that you can be at ease with it.

wonder if most people are like you WePow??... being comfortable with seeing T. out of the office........

fins

I bumped into my Uni T on campus about an hour before my appointment. I was heading to the library and she was going back to the office after lunch and we just smiled at each other and kept going (she had someone with her). Inside I was dying and even if she was alone I wouldn't have wanted to chit chat. I agree fins about putting people in compartments - It was weird seeing T outside of therapy. We didn't bring it up in the session though.

However, I saw her on campus a few months back while I was visiting friends (having not had T with her for about 18m as I was suspended from Uni due to depression and moved back home with family) and I got a warm fuzzy feeling. She didn't see me thankfully (I wasn't stalking her lol, just minding my own business sitting in the sunshine!) as that might've been awkward, especially as she probably doesn't even remember who I am after all this time. But it made me feel good cos I remembered how well she listened to me when she was my T. I hope to go back to her when I get back to Uni this summer

*Willow*

[TayQuincy]

I have seen my t in public, but as far as I know, she has never seen me! I would feel really awkward if she did and would wonder what exactly she saw me doing, lol.

[Chronic]

Whenever I'm in the area of my Ts office, I'm always aware that he might be around somewhere, but I would hate him to see me outside T!

I was early for a session one day so sat in the coffee shop around the corner from Ts office (with my back to the door), and T came in and tapped me on the back and invited me to walk back to the office with him. He even offered to carry my bag for me! But it made me so uncomfortable because I didnt know what to say to him

[elliemay]

I really hate it when T's go free range like that. I ran into mine at restaurant. Uncomfortable. I was with a friend, but it was still hard not to stare.

I'm perfectly happy with illusion that they live in their offices and exist only during business hours

[WePow]

OMG - Elliemay!

Fins- T saw me, but I did not see T. That was the funny part. :-)

[pachyderm]

I guess if you encounter T on the open range that reminds you he or she knows ALL about you and your guilty secrets and that is bad, bad, bad...?

[BlueMoon6]

Funny thread. I have never seen my current T in public. I guess it makes them more human. I once saw dt in a grocery store but she didnt see me. So weird, I guess she eats sometimes outside of session

[theave]

Originally Posted by elliemay

I really hate it when T's go free range like that. I ran into mine at restaurant. Uncomfortable. I was with a friend, but it was still hard not to stare.

I'm perfectly happy with illusion that they live in their offices and exist only during business hours

That really made me laugh - thank you!

Originally Posted by elliemay

I'm perfectly happy with illusion that they live in their offices and exist only during business hours

Thanks for that - made me laugh out loud! I like to live in denial too

*Willow*

[rainbow8]

I know I'm fairly unique because my former T and I often saw each other in public. When I read the posts and see how others feel, it makes me think that my reaction to my T in RL is not so weird.

When I first used to see her, I wanted to run away. I couldn't concentrate on anything if we were in the same place. Gradually, though, when I'd run into her at a big dinner I'd have to "find her" and say hello. I'd always find her though of course she never looked for me. That started my "watching her" when I knew we'd be in the same place. This only happened about every few months or so.

Once I ran into her in a grocery store and it's the only time she approached me first. I was caught off guard. She wanted to tell me I had left her a nice phone message!

My T came to my house twice, but they were for legitimate reasons. She did not cross boundaries, and there were always other people there. She is always good about keeping her identity a secret! (not telling anyone she's my T).

I hope to become comfortable seeing her in public one day, and not be triggered any more. Sometimes that happened in the past, so it CAN be that way.

I don't think I'd be triggered seeing Kt in public. So far we seem more equal and she doesn't have that power over me like Bt had.

[sanangel]

Originally Posted by elliemay

I really hate it when T's go free range like that. I ran into mine at restaurant. Uncomfortable. I was with a friend, but it was still hard not to stare.

I'm perfectly happy with illusion that they live in their offices and exist only during business hours

Ha ha so true. I am new to this forum since I can related to these experiences so much. Anyway, I cannot imagine my T doing anything other than sit on his chair. I cannot visualize him dancing, swimming or making love. . When I am in his area for any chores I carefully take my steps out of nervousness. I feel as if the entire area has landmines and will blow up any second

[mobius]

Haven't seen my current therapist in public, but I worked for a few months in the same hospital where a former therapist had a second job. I ran into her there from time to time, which I always found horribly awkward - like I wanted to run away, but also stand and gawk at the same time.

oh, please no. that is just too weird for me.

are you glad your T did not approach you?


true story filled with teen angst.
shortly after i aged-out of foster care, i was in a grocery store trying to buy something to eat with the remaining $22 i had to my name. i went down the juice isle and almost walked smack into my ex-shrinks cart. she had all healthy, expensive food like fruits and vegetables in it and i had a box of Little Debbie ($0.99) snack cakes in my hand.
She said "R - how are you doing?". I looked right at her and said "Dr. M, how the hell do you think I would be doing when I just got kicked out of the system and have no place to live and no food and $22...(pause)...I'm doing great, really."

the shocked look on her face said it all.....she never saw me as a "person" until that moment...before that moment, i was just "another foster kid that she drugged."

i took my Little Debbies and grabbed a $1.00 thing of gatorade and wished her good luck in life. never saw her again.

im not even sure why she was in that grocery store....it was closer to her work and the hospital (inner city/downtown) than where i imagined she lived...in other words, it wasnt her neighborhood...

im not sure i meant to be "rude," but the question was pretty lame almost showing how out of tune she was with our lives....it was weird.

[ECHOES]

I really hate it when T's go free range like that.

OMG!! I laughed so hard at this, I would have choked if I'd had food in my mouth!! I love this

[WePow]

Solar.... I think your answer was spot-on. Good for you! I would be willing to bet that you saying that changed that T's life and made her a better person. I bet it was a wake-up call. And I bet she never forgets it either.

I was glad he did not say anything when he saw me. That would have been totally un-cool because that restaurant is my hang-out and I know just about all the workers and managers personally for years now. T is the "new guy" around there since I have been eating there for over 8 yrs and he just moved his practice to this area last year. So if he would have been like "oh Hi W!" and the bartender or seater or manager would have heard it and it they knew he was a T... oh brother! It would be like "So you seeing a shrink now? hee hee hee" because they would rib me like that. So yeah - him not saying anything - smart move! In fact, now that I think of it that way, I bet that may be why I did not see him. If I did see him, my protection mode may have kicked in and not let me know I saw him so I would not have to deal with it. Interesting thought! Thanks for that great question!

[kitten16]

Totally. I think of my T as a genie in a bottle. I imagine it's nice and plush in there, and he's got a little turban with a jewel on his forehead -- that he takes off right before the session!

Originally Posted by elliemay

I really hate it when T's go free range like that. I ran into mine at restaurant. Uncomfortable. I was with a friend, but it was still hard not to stare.

I'm perfectly happy with illusion that they live in their offices and exist only during business hours

[WePow]

That is a funny image, Kitten
My T is very human - so I don't think of him as being too special. LOL.
But I do sometimes see him as superman - someone who would go beat up my abusers if he saw them hurting me.

[polarsmom]

I've never seen my T outside his office. I think I'd be okay if we were both alone and happened to run into each other. I'd probably just give the smile and nod hello. But I'd feel awkward if he was with someone. (I'd be thinking, that they would be thinking....oh, she's one of his crazy patients!) And if I was with someone I'd have to explain how I know him.

This reminded me of a time I ran into my gyno. doc while out shopping. Can you say A-W-K-W-A-R-D ?!? I was with my hubby and we were at a department store. We were looking through some clothes. I looked up and saw this couple across the way. I was thinking that woman.....she looks familiar. Just then the woman looked up and we made eye contact. It was my doctor. We recognized each other at the same time. We both just froze. Probably hoping that the other wouldn't say anything. And we just gave each other a little smile and went on with what we were doing. Shew...

[whimsical]

Not this T, but I used to see my first T at the YMCA sometimes. I tried to avoid being there after business hours so I wouldn't run into her, but once in awhile she'd be there in the morning. It was confusing, but we talked about it and it worked out fine.
whimsical

[kitten16]

Wow, that's exactly how I want to see my T. I'm not quite sure if I do though. But I'm wondering if that's what I'm missing -- whether I like it or not, he's a kind of projected father. My own father not only failed to protect me, but actively exposed me to danger and harm because it was fun for him. (I wasn't a sexual abuse victim, but I think you feel some echoes of this, WePow)

So it's important to me that my T seem -- protective. Exactly. Thanks for the insight!

Originally Posted by WePow

That is a funny image, Kitten
My T is very human - so I don't think of him as being too special. LOL.
But I do sometimes see him as superman - someone who would go beat up my abusers if he saw them hurting me.