Now that therapy has ended

I recently terminated from a 2 year journey with my wonderful therapist. I had known for the last few months that the time was drawing near and finally, I faced it.

I am feeling so much. I had anticipated that I'd be loaded for bear with all my new tools, insights and positive life changes that occurred during our journey. Instead, I feel part of my heart has been taken.

I miss her terribly.

These feelings have left me feeling somewhat disappointed in myself. I know it's important to feel the loss. Intellectually, I know I can face life on my own and make good choices while valuing me. It won't be perfect and I don't expect that I will stop evolving to something better. I just didn't expect to feel the pain that I do.

I was hoping others may have some insights on the ending of a therapeutic relationship. How did it feel when it was over and what I may be in store for down the line. This process was the most incredible of my life and I wouldn't have picked another soul to go through it with. Maybe thats why I feel such sadness.

If this isn't in the right place - let me know and I'll post it somewhere else. Thanks in advance for any feedback.

One thing that helped me was keeping the loss of a person, my therapist whom I loved, separate in my thinking from "therapy". Can't help grieving when we lose a person but it helped me not to mix that up with my life experience of therapy and what I learned about myself and how to deal with my overall life.

I prepared for termination by putting a couple of "bridge" activities and things to look forward to in place. I was busy the last few months of therapy (as was my therapist; we were both retiring and moving house) so having other things to concentrate on that helped me move into my "new" life was good for me.

Too, when I moved, I had trouble with being in a new neighborhood, not knowing anyone, etc. so I hired an online therapist for a few months, emailed back and forth and that helped my transition a bit also.

dear Hope,
My T has a T also, it's the same one she saw several decades ago. Even now there are things that come up in life which send her back there, and and she says that they just pick up and work together as though no time had passed between them. She tells me it is a tremendous comfort to know that that strength is out there, can be drawn on when she needs it. So maybe Termination is not necessarily as final as final can be.

I can't give you my experience - I am far from the "end", and I panic at the thought of the loss of this one who knows me as no one ever has, & who has training compassion & wisdom to use that knowledge for my benefit... but I do wonder whether, when you first started with yr T, you were able to feel as deeply as you do now? I know I wasn't.

Maybe this depth of feeling, although sorrowful, is a gift to you, from T and the work you have done together? hugs to you

Thanks so much Perna. By the way, after reading another thread, I'm in your neck of the woods as well! My life is very hectic as is but I think I need to make sure I focus on getting in some activities that make me feel good. That tends to help in general and would count as your "bridge activities". I know I'll be fine - I think I wanted to hear of others experiences as a gut check that the loss is real and therefore sadness is valid.

All of it's been a gift which is likely why I feel such sadness. I feel like a tightrope walker taking my first steps without the net. I've learned that it's all a gift really. Even the sorrow. Now I'm feeling it. Hugs back and thank you for replying sitting.

Sadness is understandable.



I just terminated therapy this week with my therapist after seeing her for the past year. It's due to my severe lack of finances, I knew it was coming that it would have to end...

But MAN does it suck. We did go through ways in which I've changed, areas for more continued growth and all that stuff. I'm assuming you did something similar maybe?

It's only been two days and I'm already like "I HAVE SO MUCH STUFF GOING ON AND I CANT COPE ARGHHHHHHHHH" in my head. I know it's mostly complete junk, but it's still true to a point.

You take away someone or something that you become dependent on - you need to fill that new void with something else that will be (positively) rewarding to you... especially in the long run.

If you knew the therapy was ending - are you "finished" therapy permanently? Thinking you may find yourself back in therapy in the future with a different person? Or do you just need a break?



I mourn the lost relationship more than anything. I don't "miss" the therapy... I basically am the worst client ever known to mankind because I'm resistant to change to the utmost degree most of the time, but I miss my therapist because she managed to form a relationship with me that WORKED. I liked her, she liked me and then we could work on my issues.

It does help me to remember that I did learn a lot in therapy. I also like being able to remember that although my relationship with my T is over - that they still like me as a person and they didnt just "put up with me" as a client for the money!

Probably little of what I've said is useful, but I thought I'd weigh in.

Christina, thanks so much for your reply. We did review all the ways I've grown plus areas I need to grow further. I don't know if I am finished therapy permanently. I had been feeling for awhile like we had less to focus on even though I just enjoyed being with her. It was time and I knew it. I'm not sure she agreed but she communicated that it's not about what she wants.

I'm from a therapeutic background so it's likely I'll be back some day. I think it's a healthy thing. I am so sorry you had to end for financial reasons. Would your therapist work with you on money?

I think miss her way more than therapy even being the processing fool that I am. Thats just it. I miss her a lot. She became family.

Will you get back into therapy when finances permit? I hope you were in a good place to terminate. Thanks so much for your helpful feedback.