[BrokenNBeautiful]

I see a therapist online via email and somtimes chat and this has worked for me cause I cannot find any t's in my city that accept my insurance, do not have money, and Medicaid is no longer covering psychologists in CA.

Anyway, for a year now, I've been seeing B., this woman from Canada. I really really liked her and was starting to do some good work with her.

Then last week, without a warning or an explanation whatsoever, she blocked my email. I asked other t's there on the site what was going on; I panicked. Usually I can get a hold of her if she's away, by email, but she fixed it so that I could'nt email her.

No one on the site knew anything. Except, "Well, I see she placed her status on "inactive"." I asked them why and they said, "We don't know why she did that."

I told the webmaster about it and he did not talk to B. at all, just checked to see if she had blocked me or not and he got back to me, saying, "She didn't block you but she did deactivate her account."

I asked why and he said, "I don't know."

Then tonight, I got an email from t. (B.) saying how am I doing, as if nothing happened.

Like no one even apologized for how it made me feel; I had told them I was bewildered and frightened and hurt.

I felt like they didn't even care.

No one talked to her, no one could explain what was wrong, NO ONE.

I emailed her back ( I could finally) and said, "I thought you blocked me, I thought you didn't want to see me anymore. It hurt. I hope I misunderstood."

This happens of course right in the middle of something else (see "dental work" in Health Support )

ty,

Billi

[deliquesce]

this really sucks, billi.
it sounds like (for whatever reason) your T disabled her account, not blocked you specifically.
BUT omg!!!!! that she didn't acknowledge it when she finally wrote.
i would feel crushed.

im glad you're keeping lines of communication open with her. you're being very brave. i hope she can treat you with the gentle care you deserve and explain what went wrong and what will happen to prevent something like this in the future.

[Xtree]

I am sorry you can no longer email her :-(. I am in the IT field and know for certainy that she did not block you. You would recieve a different email message if she blocked you. Like deliquesce said it sounds like she disabled her account for what ever reason we will never know but I am sure it has nothing to do with you.

Your T may have felt that email therapy may not work for her for serveral reasons. Maybe because she cannot respond to crisis situations, cannot see facial expression, vocal signals, or body language. Also many states have differing licensure requirements and treatment guidelines.

E-therapy is not appropriate for people with complicated or detailed problems, scope of the help provided can be limited.

Hope you find someone else soon.

Xtree

[Perna]

It does sound like a computer glitch and she may not have even been aware of it. You know how you can be working with an account (here, or a similar site or email account) and there's so many features you can accidentally change things you're not aware of. It sounds like she may not have been aware that there had been any problems.

When something on the computer happens, I always, always, always blame the computer first and investigate and only think someone has deliberately done something to the communication to me, personally (I'm sure your online counselor has other clients), when they confirm it, personally. That's why therapy is done in person, so one can check out what's going on, right away, in person.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by billi_leli

I see a therapist online via email and somtimes chat and this has worked for me cause I cannot find any t's in my city that accept my insurance, do not have money, and Medicaid is no longer covering psychologists in CA.

Anyway, for a year now, I've been seeing B., this woman from Canada. I really really liked her and was starting to do some good work with her.

Then last week, without a warning or an explanation whatsoever, she blocked my email. I asked other t's there on the site what was going on; I panicked. Usually I can get a hold of her if she's away, by email, but she fixed it so that I could'nt email her.

No one on the site knew anything. Except, "Well, I see she placed her status on "inactive"." I asked them why and they said, "We don't know why she did that."

I told the webmaster about it and he did not talk to B. at all, just checked to see if she had blocked me or not and he got back to me, saying, "She didn't block you but she did deactivate her account."

I asked why and he said, "I don't know."

Then tonight, I got an email from t. (B.) saying how am I doing, as if nothing happened.

Like no one even apologized for how it made me feel; I had told them I was bewildered and frightened and hurt.

I felt like they didn't even care.

No one talked to her, no one could explain what was wrong, NO ONE.

I emailed her back ( I could finally) and said, "I thought you blocked me, I thought you didn't want to see me anymore. It hurt. I hope I misunderstood."

This happens of course right in the middle of something else (see "dental work" in Health Support )

ty,

Billi

We have had this happen to a lot of our clients. they go on line first and then when this happens to us they come and find us. we usually check out their on line resources with many companies like the Better Business Bureau, that state or countries mental health licensing board. In a majority of the cases when the email is shut down it was because the place was a scam with one person without any licensing credentials posing as many therapists. In the rare cases that this was not the reason, it was because the mental health professional had their own personal problems that they needed to take care of, or they just needed a break.

here is a website link that will help you find real time free services in the state of California.

http://www.manta.com/mb_45_F014208D_...ter/california

if this cant help you call any of the mental health phone numbers and hotlines in your phone book they can direct you to free services in your area. your doctors can also be a great resource for finding free mental health care in your area. check churches and county mental health, planned parenthood, AA, AMAC they can also tell you where there are free services in or around your location and point you to places that have sliding fee programs so you can get discounts too.

[rainbow8]

Just wondering. Are ANY online Ts legitimate? Has anyone had a good experience with one?

billi, I don't mean necessarily that yours wasn't legit, especially since you say you've done good work with her. It just seems like it's a risky way to do therapy. I hope you will check out the resources given by amandalouise.

[shezbut]

Okay billi,

Now I have a better understanding of what you were talking about.

Personally, I would have a real hard time dealing with a T online. Definitely look in the yellow pages (or your county site online) to find out local resources. In Ventura Co., I was uninsured, but did go to see a T weekly about 20 miles away from where I lived. I couldn't drive for a couple of years, but did take a bus there. County mental health fees are based upon a sliding scale of your income. They are very helpful. Please look into it!

I'm not saying that the T you've been working with is a yahoo, but imo, it would be incredibly difficult to get a lot of issues covered online. They aren't aware of anything you do or say, if they aren't right in the room with you. A lot of stuff could easily be skipped, even when you aren't trying to hide. Expressions on your face, that you aren't aware of, just one small example.

Very best wishes to you, billi. Please check out your county for assistance asap!

[BrokenNBeautiful]

ty ppl.

The reason I am doing online is because I did check all my resources before and all they seem to cover is short-term therapy, not someone with a psychiatric history that needs to be seen longer.

County Mental Health (checked it too) only gives out meds and psyche eval's.

Most of the other places I checked won't take me either because I either make too much money or they have underqualified t's (interns, for example) that they say can't help me with big problems and crises.

My plan is to stay with the site and see someone there on chat, not email, when I really need to talk to someone.

ty again,

Billi

[shezbut]

billi,

I am sorry. You may want to try this link, as it does have resources.

http://www.sdcounty.ca.gov/hhsa/prog...thcenters.html

Gentle to you!

[imapatient]

Originally Posted by billi_leli

Most of the other places I checked won't take me either because I either make too much money or they have underqualified t's (interns, for example) that they say can't help me with big problems and crises.

That's good of the interns to say they can't help you if they can't; a T should say that if they won't be able to help you due to a lack of training.

But who are these T's on-line? Are they licensed, what degrees, professional associations? What legal oversight is there of them?

I understand why you go there for help, but if these aren't people with proper educations, licenses, etc., I think you run into a much greater risk of finding someone who's less professional and responsible than in therapy with licensed pros. In other words, realize the greater risk that something like this could happen and don't take it personally, but lower your expectations for the type of service you'll get and don't let it hit you so hard if it happens again. It's them, not you.

[BrokenNBeautiful]

ty .

I will not lower my expectations if they have letters after their name---they need to live up to it!

However, it could be harder to really know their credentials if they are online---for all I know, they could be faking it.

The fact that *2* of them messed up speaks volumes.

I hesitate to trust them on that site anymore.

I am looking for other sites.

Billi

[Perna]

Go through Metanoia, the T's credentials are checked:

http://www.metanoia.org/

[BrokenNBeautiful]

I will check this very soon.
ty, Perna.

Billi

[Thimble]

Originally Posted by Xtree

E-therapy is not appropriate for people with complicated or detailed problems, scope of the help provided can be limited.

Originally Posted by rainbow8

Just wondering. Are ANY online Ts legitimate? Has anyone had a good experience with one?

Actually, for me online therapy in the 1990's and then online therapy today has done much, much more for me than in person therapy - and I would consider my problems "detailed". Of course, both were long term therapies, not short term. Perhaps that is why I have found them so beneficial.

I have come to a point where a combination of in person and online therapy are optimal for me, but if I had to choose between the two, online therapy would win hands down. I make far more progress behind the safety of my computer screen than I do cowering in fear in front of a human being. Different strokes, for different folks as they say. But yes, there are definitely legitimate online T's out there.

[BrokenNBeautiful]

I agree with Thimble.

It's true that many times over the internet there can be misunderstandings or computer problems between therapist and client, but until B. dumped me, she was really helping me.

Therapy, online or in person, can help, as long as there is COMMUNICATION.

See, B. stopped communicating with me and that's what messed it up.

ty,

Billi

[BrokenNBeautiful]

Originally Posted by Perna

Go through Metanoia, the T's credentials are checked:

http://www.metanoia.org/

I checked metanoia and they don't have any places in the United States.

or online therapy.

I checked a peer counseling place and they don't want to deal with me.

I am still looking.

Billi