[granite1]

I know this was probibly real stupid of me but i looked up the center that i go to therapy and they had a pic of my T.it was kind off cool to see a pic of her it has been so long sence i have had therapy and so much has been going on i really miss going.it brought up a lot of thoughts for me.like why am i so angry at her for not being able to help me with not wanting to take care of the mother,feeling guilty about not hardly talking to her at all,i guess expecting her to read my mind,wanting to run in her office and give her a huge hug and say how much i missed comming to therapy and how sorry i am for being such a pain in the but,but knowing ill just go in thare, say hi, and im just fine.hating myself for that.but mostly it was nice to see apic of her because i could hardly even remember what she looks like and it kind of reminded me that maby if im not such a pain in the but i may have someone who can help me some when i get back home

[Perna]

Yes, I had a break from seeing my T of nine years :-) I reconnected when I remembered I use to look her up in the phone book (and then myself, when she was away on vacation, so I could "prove" we both still existed). I went to the library (totally different state) and they had the phone book for the City where I use to see her and I was able to get her phone number and figure out how to see her again; we'd both gotten better and therapy was much more "successful" the second time.

[granite1]

thanks perna knowing that she still exsists was a strange thing for me but it helps because sometimes i get really overwelmed and forget things like ill be seeing her in about 2 1/2 weeks.i just hope she didnt forget all about me.i think it is something how easy it is for that out of sight out of mind thing to happen

[zooropa]

I look at my T's pic on her website (for her practice which she owns) sometimes. It's not a very good pic of her but I still like to look at it sometimes to remind me that she's still out there. I mean, I still see her every week, but in between visits/phone calls I look at the pic sometimes. Glad I'm not the only one.

[granite1]

i looked at it today and all i got was this horrable panic feeling like i get before i go to therapy so i guess i wont be looking at it anymore.would have thought i was over this seing that i havnt seen her in three weeks.god i hope im going to be able to talk to her when i get home im such a stinking whimp.i bet most people can at least look at a pic and not panic but nooo not me.i was ok with it yesterday.i even found some comfort in it but not today. kind of dissapointing because i really was hoping that this break would give me some what of a spine to be able to talk to her when i get back but if im panicing over a pic and the anticipation of seeing her i doubt talking is going to be an option.our last session i didnt say anything at all and i have spent this whole time regreting it .i swear ill just go crazy it i get home and i still cant talk.i hate this i wouldnt wish it on my worst enemy.