can T still help if T is really different than you

..or is T biased in their own beliefs and lifestyles etc and it will affect the therapy?

here are some examples i can think of off the top of my head to clarify:

client is not-religious and angry at GOD---- T is very religious
client is confused about relationships ----- T is gay
client is liberal ------T is conservative
client accepts all race/ethnicities ----- T is a white sepramist
client eats meat ---- T is a vegan

(**these are examples to show a point, they may not necessarily be my example)

see some very different lifestyles and beliefs between client and T

and your thoughts, smart people of PC..?

I think it helps if a T and client agree on some fundamental things... such as how abusers are looked at through the eyes of healing... And it is also important for there to be a human bond of some form - the therapy relationship IS a relationship.
But just like any other human to human relationship, there should be room for differences. Just because the T and Client are not of the same political party does not mean they can not work together. It may take more effort on certain things if the differences come up in the conversation on therapy... but just like any good relationship, those things can contribute to empathy between the two parties. Two people can remain two separate people but build mutual respect.

I think it depends on the T and whether they will let their own beliefs get in the way of their ability to help the client without judgment. Of the examples you gave, I think there might be some Ts who would have trouble with the religion issue. They shouldn't, but some might. (There was an interesting discussion in another forum recently about the reasons why a therapist might choose to advertise themselves as a Christian therapist. Did that mean they only wanted Christian clients?) Of all the examples you listed, the one that would be problematic for me is if the T were a white supremacist. I would not want to go to therapy with anyone who held those beliefs. That's a line I draw, a boundary I set. You get to decide what is acceptable to you, Solarwind. Hopefully your T is a professional and is able to treat diverse clients.

Solarwind, What ways do you imagine these things might affect (or interfere with) therapy?

We are all separate, our own unique and complex mix of interests, beliefs, preferences, values. There is an inherent imbalance from the beginning of one person needing something from the other. But what we have most in common is being human, having an internal world, experiencing the same range of emotions, having personal desires and dreams and goals.

Therapists may certainly have strong feelings about things that are important to them. That's being human too. But their training, and their own therapy, means they are able to not bring to your therapy the strong feelings they may have about things that are not part of your therapy.

Much as I would like to believe that most therapists can leave large parts of their belief systems outside the door, so to speak, I think where there are differences such as the one's you suggest Solarwind, especially if the T has for some reason revealed her/his views in some way, there is cause for caution.

I think it comes down to the issue of trust you seem to also be concerned with. I, for example, would have trouble trusting a 'very religious' T partly because I don't trust any 'very religious' people, and partly because I would consider it a boundary violation for my T to talk to me about their religion or lack thereof, unless I asked a direct question about it. If my T were a vegan, on the other hand, I would only find that problematic if there was some kind of judgement of my food choices or pressure to change as a result of that. That would quickly become a deal breaker for me.

I have had the experience of being treated by a T whose world view lead her to espouse and practice some of the more esoteric, but quite popular methods in circulation today. I did try some of them, for compliance sake and because I do try to give 'different' things a chance. But in the end I left her because she kept returning to these methods even after I had said that they didn't really work for me. (A very polite way of saying what i really thought ) So, she wasn't actively trying to persuade me of anything, but still, her belief system affected how she did therapy, and that eventually made us a bad match.
I guess the only thing I can really say is, you are the one who is supposed to be in control of what happens in therapy. That doesn't mean not opening up and letting yourself be known and helped, but it means that you are allowed to say no to anything that does not feel right to you, even if it is something you might later change your mind about.

As someone said above, therapy is about building a relationship. We do not have to choose to stay with anyone as our therapist who we would not normally be comfortable relating to in some other type of relationship, be it a friend, or even a 'close acquaintance'. Bottom line, if it makes you uncomfortable, say so. If it stays uncomfortable, and interferes with the relationship building process, look elsewhere.

This is my situation Except I don't see why my T being gay effects anything to do with my therapy.

That being said, I don't think that therapists' world views should really matter, nor should they let it matter. I agree with Sunny, that if I found out my T was a white supremacist, I would have trouble with that. The only things I know about my T is things that directly relate to my therapy, and should only be reinforcing and validating me. I don't want to know her true thoughts!

I have no clue how me and T differ in life style choices, and I've been with her 6yrs, unyet I feel so close to her, feel our minds meet often in as much as we are TOGETHER in this journey, just goes to show theres knowing about someone and theres "knowing", its the latter thats important.

Oh definitely. I know a lot about my t's, and we do differ greatly in many ways (generally politically). We dont' talk about those things though, so it isn't an issue.

My T was a totally different nationality, size, shape, skin color, and background than I and like that of my SAbuser.

I think people are people and it's the person one is conversing with that matters; how well you interact with and get to know them and they you as who you are. Everyone has the same emotions and types of needs and problems but many times, coming from different backgrounds was very helpful as we had to go slower, pay more attention, work harder, etc.

Here's what I like having in common with my T:
age - just really don't want someone lots younger than me
married and being a parent - massively helpful to have this innate understanding of these elements of my life that are very difficult to explain to a single non-parent.
sense of humor - we laugh at each other's jokes

T being a religious person vs. atheist is helpful to me, then I don't have to explain why my faith matters to me. However, the T's actual religion isn't so important.

However, I'd have an issue if my T highlighted our differences (I voted for X, did you?), brought them into the therapy (veganism will save your life) or tried to change my core beliefs (lots of religious stuff on display). It would be very unprofessional.

Solar- This is a really good question. On the one hand, I would say the majority of Ts are not in the profession to work with clients who are copies of themselves. Yet, I do think that when there are basic commonalities, it can foster the relationship. Though you dont have to have these things in common to have a close relationship.

I know very little about my current T. I know she has parents in florida and a sister. And grandchildren about the ages of my kids. I dont know her religious views, her background (tho I suspect it is different than mine), her polititcs or where she lives. I do know she is married. When we talk in session we agree on things having to do with relationships and men. She guides me and I confide in her and trust her (for the most part). I dont have much of a desire or wonder about any of the other things. And, really, that is UNUSUAL for me. I think maybe b/c at this point, I am there to only have therapy and not really to heal through my close relationship with her. We were talking once about (mothers) and how she has clients who tell her they wish she was their mother. I did say to her that I dont see her in a motherly way for me. More of a peer. Or just a plain old therapist. It could be, but I dont know, that when I went to see her I was clear on the issues I needed help with. And f*** whether I trusted her or not, I just want to do the work and move forward. She seemed trustworthy enough.
Maybe all of this sounds a little cold. But it makes it easier to not be overly concerned with our differences. I was more concerned with her abilities to help me and her competence.

Good T's don't have personal agendas.

I was just thinking that if T was just like me....no way would I be seeing her. lol

I know my T and her hubby have both pretty much rejected traditional forms of Christianity while holding on to some basic tenets. I am much more traditional in my Christian belief. She has never tried to convince me that I should reject my faith. She has only helped me to find my own voice and decide for myself what I believe and why. As a result I am on a stronger foundation concerning my faith.

While I am mostly liberal in my political belief, she is much much more liberal than I am. I do think I almost made her spit out her coffee when I told her some of the things I am more conservative about...LOL.

I think I was way more afraid of judgement than was warranted really. I am learning how to get along with others and perhaps even let them know I disagree with them in a healthy manner. That is a HUGE thing for me.

She is her, I am me. She has never once tried to change me. She has only tried to help me know myself and make my life easier.

Oh, Echoes! Ditto on that one!

thank you all for your responses. --- peace.