I left a T about 7 years ago, but continued to speak with T weekly. I don't really know, but I would call it a dual relationship. I never paid a thing all these years and I heard alot about T's life too.

Anyway, about a month ago, T "dumped me" with barely any notice. I am devestated and it has caused me great sadness. Just dumped. One of my main support people in my life and T dumped me. There was no reason given accept that T got busy. All these years...

I am on the verge of suicide, but am meeting with a psychiatrist on Monday.

The thing is, T sent me all kinds of presents, some hand-made, etc.
I don't want them anymore because it brings such sadness to me.

Would you just throw them away or send them back with a letter? The hand-made ones are real crafts...but I don't want them. Right now, everything is in a drawer where I can't see it...

??

[rainbow8]

(((((Moosetracks)))))

What a terrible thing to be happening to you! I am so very sorry. For now, I wouldn't do anything with the gifts except keep them in that drawer. I'm sure the T you are seeing tomorrow will help you decide what to do with them. I don't think now is the time for a letter, either.

I know this must be so painful, so you don't have to answer questions, but was this a romantic relationship? What reason did the T give you for allowing weekly phone calls for 7 years? I'm not sure if that falls under the "no contact" outside of therapy rule after so long or not. But, at the very least, it doesn't sound ethical. T's "I got busy" sounds like a very weak excuse.

Please stay safe until you see the T tomorrow! Do you have any family or friends to share this with? You can post more here; there are many who will support you into the night. If you have to check into a hospital, please do that. I hope it's all right to give you some hugs.

[seventyeight]

hi moose,

hope you are hanging in there ok. what a terrible thing to have happen. i don't know what i'd do if i was in your shoes, but i think at the very least - you don't need to be making decisions about the material stuff right now. i think it's easy to focus on that (i do the same thing) because it's something you have control over and can take action on, but for now i'd say it's better to wait. keep it in the drawer for now and focus on yourself and getting through.

i agree with rainbow, the "i'm busy" excuse seems lame. i don't think it's hard to find time to make a phone call, and if it's someone you want to talk to - you can make the time. (unless you know that your they are getting a busier schedule or that something legit is going on, something that makes sense with the story.) anyway, i'm not saying all this to make you feel bad.. i'm trying to say it seems like something else is going on - something not related to you at all. perhaps something happened with someone else they we're treating/talking to? if they we're sending you gifts, perhaps they we're sending someone else gifts, and the boundries got blurred. are you able to ask for more explaination? does it seem in-keeping with their personality/what you know of them to act like this? if not, i'd say it's definitely related to something else. from an outsiders perspective, it definitely seems that way.

hang in there, and know that you are capable of getting through this. and yes, you can post more here - there are nice people that will help you through.

[NuckingFutz]

Perhaps journaling will help. It also sounds like your appointment tomorrow will help you make a plan to deal with this. Seems boundries got blurred along the way. Maybe that is why your old t got busy? Ironic he sent you hand crafted things since he's so busy. I would feel devistated too.

[chaotic13]

Moose,

An abrupt end to any long standing relationship can be really hard to deal with. Even though my T relationship has been strictly professional, it would still be an incredible loss to have it totally cut without time to prepare for the loss. I hope you can get some good help dealing with this issue. In the meantime, I kind of agree with the others, I would try and keep the items your T made you out of sight but not out totally gone until you have a chance to sort through this inital pain. Later you may find that these items can remind you of all the good caring she provided before this event.

[sunrise]

Moosetracks, I'm glad you are seeking out help when you need it and meeting with a psychiatrist tomorrow. Having your T dump you like that after so many years sounds very painful. I wonder if it would help you find closure if you knew more about why he did it? I think it's too early to attempt that, but maybe in the future. And perhaps you wouldn't find that helpful at all. I hope your pdoc can give you some good advice, and be a clear thinker on this for you. When I am hurting so much, I make really bad decisions, so I always try to just pull back and tell myself, "you don't need to do anything now."

[ECHOES]

Would you just throw them away or send them back with a letter? The hand-made ones are real crafts...but I don't want them. Right now, everything is in a drawer where I can't see it...

No, I would put them away for now, like you have. I might even box them up and put them away. You are heartbroken right now and they are too painful to have near you. When you feel better, they may regain their cherished place in your heart

[RiverX]

Thats a lousy and painful thing to have happen. Its quite a shocking fact that there are many T.s who havent sorted out thier own stuff and thier own behaviour. You woudnt do that to someone, so you're probably ultimately more spiritually healthy than she is.
take good care of yoursle for this time..

[WePow]

((( MT ))) How are you doing with all of this? I know you give a lot of support to others... was just checking up on you for this serious issue.