[peaches100]

My t and I have been getting pretty deep into some stuff in therapy, and it has caused me to dissociate at times, not only in session but sometimes when i am out of session. Last Friday, i dissociated when i was at work, and some very distressing emotions came up inside me that i recognized as not coming from my normal adult self. i felt very anxious, and left my t voice mail, even though i knew she probably wouldn't pick up her messages until she returned to work on Monday.

I did all the grounding and coping skills i could think of to deal with my dissociative state, but it wasn't working. My t has told me that in the event of an emergency, i can call her office and ask them to page her, so i did that. Well, they called back a few minutes later and said they could not reach her.

This morning, she returned to work and replied to my voice mail. But i can't help feeling hurt/abandoned. I don't understand why they couldn't reach my t, or why she left the option to have her paged in an emergency if she doesn't carry her pager with her on her days off?

She offered me an earlier session this week (today instead of Wednesday), but due to my schedule, i can't go in today. Friday was the day i REALLY needed to talk to her, and now that it's Monday, i might as well just wait until my usual session later in the week.

But my stomach just hurts. I know t can't always be there when i need her. Nobody can. I know this. But it doesn't keep it from hurting really bad.

[chaotic13]

Peaches...there is no doubt that realizing your T is not there when you really needed her, totally sucks. Hopefully, when you do meet with her you both can work through this let down.

On the other side of this weekend is...YOU were there for you. Maybe you aren't happy with having to handle this situation or how you "handled" the dissociation and emotions...but I hope you can see and be proud of yourself for getting through it and being there for yourself.

((((((((((Peaches))))))))))))

I'm so sorry T wasn't there when you needed her

When I was doing the really bad trauma stuff with T, or during weeks when I'm having a hard time, T let(s) me know his schedule for the weekend. Not in any detail (at all), but just things like "I'll be out of town this weekend so won't be able to get e-mails or voice mails until Sunday night" or whatever. It really is helpful to know what to expect when/if I need T on a day he is not in the office.

I wonder if you could talk to T and ask her to give you a heads up if there are times she won't be available?

I hope you are able to connect and work through your disappointment when you see her on Wednesday.

[mixedup_emotions]

(((( HUGS ))))

That is so hard. SO hard. I'm sorry your T wasn't there for you when you needed T most. I hope you are able to work through this with your T and get some reassurance. I like Tree's suggestion about the heads-up on when T is available/not available, so you are at least aware.

My T stresses the importance of building up a support network in real life, so that I can reach out to them when he is not available. Easier said than done. He knows that I have the hardest time reaching out. I tend to do better with that here, knowing that my PC friends really know and understand what I'm going through and can relate and empathize.

Please reach out here when you need us. (( HUGS ))

[WePow]

(((((((( Peaches ))))))))) ugggggggg.... that is a very bad feeling to have to process! I am so sorry. Keep on fighting for yourself. You can make it.

[rainbow8]

I'm sorry your T wasn't there when you needed her. I hope you can discuss your feelings about that in your session. I know how disappointing that must have been for you.

I'm sorry T wasn't there when you needed her to be To feel so fragile in those moments and hoping that your "rock" can be there, is tough. Of course it hurts. It's a scary feeling You made it through... A minute at a time. I'm proud of you