[sittingatwatersedge]

this may be The Dumb Question for the Day, folks...

With T, working through Pete Walker's book "The Tao of Fully Feeling". As a way of bringing up repressed emotions, Walker suggests a mind-body exercise which begins with lying down comfortably and concentrating on your breathing for about five minutes... in ... out ...

Sounds simple & very relaxing but the problem is, I don't ever get past this point. After a while it becomes very laborious to breathe at all and eventually I feel the breath go out, and I find myself thinking how nice it would be to just not have to inhale again. No bad memories from the past (or present), no emotions really, just I don't know, weary.
And when I find these thoughts (of not breathing) I go and I get up; that's the end.

Is this something to be concerned about (3 out of 3 times so far)? How on earth can a person fail at mind-body exercise?!

(((((((((((sawe))))))))))))

You CAN'T fail at a mindfulness exercise.

Part of mindfulness is just being with what's there. Maybe what's there is a weariness, or a tiredness, or a feeling of wanting to just stop for now. Maybe it's something else. WHATEVER it is, it's okay.

I do a lot of meditation, and when I get to places that are really hard (for me, it's panic attacks), I try to sit with it just a little bit longer. So, if I reach a place where I just want to get up and walk away, I ask myself if I can sit with it for 10 more breaths, or whatever.

The amazing thing, for me, about mindfulness, is the clarity it gives me that EVERYTHING CHANGES. My feelings WILL change. Even sitting through an itch during meditation has shown me that....if I have an itch and don't scratch it...just watch it...eventually it fades. Who knew? I thought the only way to stop itching was by scratching. It turns out just waiting also makes it go away.

It's the same with emotions. We don't HAVE to get up and leave. We can stay, and eventually, they will change too.

I've been meditating for years and it's still very VERY hard for me to sit through stuff I'm uncomfortable with. I go to a group on Thursdays and that kind of "forces" me to sit for 15 minutes....at home, it's much easier to just get up and leave, and I *do* get up and leave sometimes.

Being where we're at is not not NOT failing. It's just being where we're at, and it's okay.

YOU are okay, sawe

[Popskid]

Mindfulness meditation use to trigger serious panic attacks for me- I couldn't think and I couldn't breath. A little different than what you describe. I think you are fine and did not fail. Sometimes, certain types of meditation aren't appropriate for certain people at certain points in their lives. Perhaps that is the case for you. Some things work- some things don't. No one (at least not anyone who knows what they are talking about) will tell you that any one technique is the answer for everyone. Keep trying different things. You can find something that suits you.

[Gus1234U]

one has started a small study group on spiritual development, including meditation and mindfullness. anyone interested in using these and other spiritual teachings for self-improvement is welcome to join. just PM or IM me, and i will send you an invitation to the group. it warms my heart to see people practicing self development. Bliss gus

[Sannah]

Maybe you don't want to go there? Maybe you don't want to focus on the present? I found when I worked through all of my stuff that I lived in the future because I didn't want to face my uncomfortableness in the present. But pushing and working through this made a huge difference in my life.

[sittingatwatersedge]

Originally Posted by Gus1234U

one has started a small study group on spiritual development, including meditation and mindfullness. anyone interested in using these and other spiritual teachings for self-improvement is welcome to join. just PM or IM me, and i will send you an invitation to the group. it warms my heart to see people practicing self development. Bliss gus

Hi Gus, if you want to run an ad please start your own thread and don't hijack mine, thanks very much.
I've been doing meditation for 20 yrs,and I am not sold on this kind as having any value whatsoever. So far, comparing the two seems to be the difference between looking up and looking down....

[(JD)]

Mindfulness is much more than breathing exercises.

Mindfulness encompasses being mindful of what you are doing as you do it. It means you focus only on what you are doing and not allow other thoughts to enter while you are doing that activity. It's okay if you can't focus on breath for long, the idea is to block any other thoughts. That's the basis for mindfulness skill.

Right now I am typing this post to you. I'm blocking out the thoughts of the tv ad that are trying to make me listen to it, I'm blocking the thoughts of the coffee that calls to me {big breath} ahhhhh I want to italicize a few words here ... I want to give you support without entering into the post myself.

This means you stop multi-tasking.
No more ruminating about things in the past, or things you want to get done once you're done with "this" project. You focus only on what you are doing ... if it's preparing a meal, then you are thinking about the pot you wish to use, then the food you are washing or spicing ... then you focus on the stove or oven and setting the temperature.

OR such as You are driving in your car. You don't have the radio on to fill you mind with chatter or music that can distract you. You focus on driving...the car in front of you that breaks all too often, you check each mirror every 7 seconds like the experts tell us, you feel the steering wheel in your hands...you breathe calmly. You block thoughts of what you're going to tell the T, or how late you might be if you don't catch that light...etc.

Get the idea?

Learning to focus is the reason for the breathing exercise. Don't sweat it if you can't fully do it yet... you'll get there. It's a learned skill.

[sittingatwatersedge]

Originally Posted by (JD)

Mindfulness is much more than breathing exercises ,,,.

No, O Legenday Wise Elder , and in this case (Walker says) it was to be the first step in an exercise designed to help locate repressed memory/emotion which is still in the body.
I've used the relaxation-through-breathing thing before. Bradshaw starts with that in his exercise for meeting one's inner child (very interesting), in "Waking the Tiger" there's another one (about startle response? also interesting).... this time though it is having a disturbing effect, coming each time to thoughts of just letting myself die is a curve ball.

[Melbadaze]

Are you concerned about it sitting?

[sittingatwatersedge]

hi welcome back M Daze

Originally Posted by Melbadaze

Are you concerned about it sitting?

well, kind of... that type of thought is actually very unlike me and wasn't what I had expected to come up at all, much less 3 times. The first time it surprised me; the other two times it unsettled me (BTW the 2nd and 3rd times I had no thought about whether it was going to recur; I was just trying to do the breathing)

The responses here have helped me (and Sannah you have given me something else to think about) ... I guess I will just discontinue the exercise for now.

Sorry if I am being a bother, or a bore. about this, people.
T is gone for the next 3 wks and I have no other "support structure" except the good folks at PC. thanks again

[Melbadaze]

Sitting, I guess it doesnt surprise me that one would have an experience with such a thought, after all, there are depths to us that the normal dizziness of daily living drowns out...who says dying has to be an awful thought all-of-the-time?

[sittingatwatersedge]

Mdaze ... if I were "done" maybe I could agree, not sure; but I don't feel that I'm "done" yet; I love life, intelligence and humor and nature and growth , music learning and work and rest... and all of it...
I want to be able to love people, iI guess that's why I am in therapy. Last week I lashed out at my own brother over something completely trivial that triggered my anxiety and anger; he meant me no harm and I hurt him. I don't want to do that any more. But I don't think I am done here, not yet. hope that makes sense.

(((((((((((sitting))))))))))))

i just want to agree that if it doesn't seem helpful or it's not feeling like the right time to do this, then i'd skip it. it could be though that this is the repressed emotion, weariness, that is coming up for you. and that's ok too. our lives tend to be very fast-paced and stressful, so i think it's normal to feel weary at times. the not wanting to breath part is a little scary but maybe it's more about the weariness than anything else. do you have a hard time resting and relaxing?

[Melbadaze]

sitting, well I wasn't meaning having to be done to wish for death exactly...I think we all carry within us the drive to survive and create and also a laden death wish..remember we are all creatures of oppersites....inbuilt is the knowledge that with death comes new life...wheter that be in making way for more life or perhaps an unconcious beleif in something more like remerger with the womb??

I dunno.

[Popskid]

Originally Posted by (JD)

Mindfulness is much more than breathing exercises.

Actually mindfulness is about NOT blocking thoughts. It is about acknowledging a thought as you have it (right now in the present) and letting it go without ruminating or judging the thought. As you continue to refocus on your breathing and don't hold on to your thoughts you do get much better at recognizing what you feel and think and of not letting it overwhelm you or trigger a series of thoughts. I assume that in the case here the idea would be to accept the uncomfortable thought of not wanting to breath as just a thought and not judge it as being wrong or right and then let it go and refocus on your breathing. I don't really understand how repressed stuff comes into it...but it does seem that learning to accept your thoughts and emotions without judgment would be a great skill to learn before trying to bring up repressed emotions!