sent email to t

omg what am i doingi know she will be mad but i wanted her to know what was going on with my step mom and i cant seem to open my mouth.i will just die if she yells at me for e-mailing instead of talking.she has told me more then once she doesnt want it to be a replacement for talking.grrrrr

I don't think she will be angry, granite. I can understand her not wanting email to be a replacement for talking, but you know your own limits better than she does. If you really wanted her to know what's going on and you just CAN'T talk about it, emailing is a good option. At least now she has the information.

zoo i really hope so because i really cant handle her being angry at me.

granite, I wish your T wasn't so hung up about your talking and not emailing. If you can't talk, at least you can write! Like me, though I do better with talking now. You've got all this stuff that you can write, and by writing, you get it out. What can possibly be wrong with doing that? When you're ready to talk, you will. At least now, or whenever you email, your T will have some idea of what's going on with you.

sometimes rain i wish the same thing.she really seems to understand my not being able to talk well and exsepts it for what it is and is working really hard on helping me relax and doing differnt things in therapy.she also doesnt want me to just sit thare and hide in my head.if i dont want to talk she has me do art therapy or relaxation or something interactive.i dont mind that at all it helps but i wish she would not be so strange about e- mails and letters.update on my step mom.they moved her to a trama hosp and she isnt doing well.on vent 100% with bilateral pneumonia.

I'm sorry to hear she's not doing well, granite

((((((((( Granite ))))))))))

Granite, given the present circumstances, I think this is the best thing you could have done. Not to worry.

(((((((Granite))))))))))))

thanks for all your responces.i think the most horrable thing is all this is going on and i feel NOTHING at all.i'm tired and angry at the fact that i have to deal with my farther.i hate that i cant cry.or anything.i just feel empty.i know that everyone must think im a cold hearted horrable humanbeaing.i just dont feel anything but i'm still thare to do what needs to get done asking the doc all the questions farther wants and his laundry,paying his bills.that shows i care somehow dont it?in the e-mail to T i asked her if this makes me a rotten person.

Granite, the mind will numb us when it is overloaded. It does feel very odd and bad when that happens. It does not make you a rotten person. It makes you a person.

Allow yourself some grace and room to heal. You have a lot going on right now.

(((((granite))))))
It's ok to be numb. You have so much going on right now. I know it's hard and it would feel good to cry, but don't beat yourself up for being numb. It happens. Like wepow said, it's a reaction we have to protect ourselves. You will feel it later, and that's okay too.

Granite, the way that you are reacting to this is so understandable. Most people in your situation would react the same way.