[WePow]

Ok guys, here is one for you. Has anyone else had times when they were talking with T in session and if T said something triggering somehow, you actually experience T shifting positions or being in a different part of the room?

Here is an example I have... and it is so strange. I asked T about one of the events and he thought it was a part of the PTSD. But it really is so strange. This last session I wanted to make sure it was still "ok" if I sent T emails when I needed them - as it really helps but he again asked if I had everything from him I needed right then. So I thought maybe he was not wanting me to use email anymore. He was physically sitting across from me as usual and I experienced him leaning forward with his hands clasped compassionatly infront of him as he told me I could continue to email him as needed - that it wasn't a problem.

Then in my reality, T was suddenly standing up the the left of me - to the right of where he was seated, and he was looming very big and much taller than he is, - that was when he said "But I can't respond to most of them." --- but I HEARD in a very firm voice "But don't EXPECT me to answer you back!"

There have been other times as well when my perception of T is so dramatically different than reality. One time I actually felt he was in my face yelling something at me - when the whole time I know he was over in his chair.

Somehow, when I have experiences like the one that just happened, they impact me highly and on a level I can't describe.

Any ideas or others have this happen?

[Amazonmom]

Yes, I definitely feel that my T is changing locations in the room or is inside my head when I have flashbacks, or when I find a topic too traumatic. It's like she is so far away I am not there.

And I misconstrue things she says as hostile when I am in that state.

I never tell T that is what's going on. I wonder if our Ts know that this is going on if we don't tell them?

[Sannah]

Could it sort of be a flashback?

[Perna]

I think I've only had T change size, not physical position.

[Verbascum]

Oh yes!
Not changing size or age, but changing places: yes, both she AND I.
It's indeed when she says something triggering. At the moment itself I kind of withdraw in myself, and I almost stop reacting. When I then think of the session afterwards, yes, we have changed positions. It's like I've been sitting on the floor, or in the extra chair at the wall, or by the window, and often she has changed places too. But mostly I moved. In reality we of course didn't move an inch. I once asked her if we had changed places. By her reaction I could see she was very surprises, and afterwards she told me that was when she first suspected I was DID. Now that I know more about it, it's indeed a kind of dissociating, I guess.

I'm by now quite sure that the place of which I afterwards think I moved to, is the place where I was staring at when dissociating. That seems to make sense. Somehow.

I never had the idea of her yelling at me or something like that.
But I'm also very much impacted afterwards, yes, by such a session.

Could you tell your T? I was also very reluctant about telling, and apart from her obvious surprise she didn't go into it, at that moment. She just reassured me we didn't move. She clearly had her thoughts about it then, but only later seemed to be sure enough to share those thoughts with me.

[Perna]

As I was thinking about your post, WePow, I came across this:

http://www.visualperceptual.com/

I was fascinated with the possibilities (read the first few paragraphs). It would appear that the cognitive/thoughts/trigger causes a visual change whereas this site claims it's visual difficulties that cause cognitive problems; I wonder if T switches positions in some sort of way that your "mind" switched positions in the past or if your mind went further before and T moving is "good"/means you are more "steady" (kind of like you sit in one place/position and can move your eyes, see different views; maybe your perception is doing that, taking the place of your eyes while your self is "sitting" in one place/position).

[WePow]

Wow! Perna- thanks for that link! Thank you all for your insight. This has been one of the strangest things for me about therapy. It is VERY odd to so solidly feel this reality shift. I am sorry that others have this too - but very glad I am not the only one :-) My T said he experienced it too with something that was being said to him by someone else. It is very odd.

[Hunny]

Hi WePow:

When this happens to me in therapy, I tell my therapists and they have me cover one eye at a time not lingering at the side that is more hurting, sad, angry or whatever. It is part of my therapy. I am then able to see what part is needing more help that session. Then, we do therapy with that part. It is not all that easy but in essence that is what happens.

Be encouraged.
Hunny

Originally Posted by WePow

Ok guys, here is one for you. Has anyone else had times when they were talking with T in session and if T said something triggering somehow, you actually experience T shifting positions or being in a different part of the room?

Here is an example I have... and it is so strange. I asked T about one of the events and he thought it was a part of the PTSD. But it really is so strange. This last session I wanted to make sure it was still "ok" if I sent T emails when I needed them - as it really helps but he again asked if I had everything from him I needed right then. So I thought maybe he was not wanting me to use email anymore. He was physically sitting across from me as usual and I experienced him leaning forward with his hands clasped compassionatly infront of him as he told me I could continue to email him as needed - that it wasn't a problem.

Then in my reality, T was suddenly standing up the the left of me - to the right of where he was seated, and he was looming very big and much taller than he is, - that was when he said "But I can't respond to most of them." --- but I HEARD in a very firm voice "But don't EXPECT me to answer you back!"

There have been other times as well when my perception of T is so dramatically different than reality. One time I actually felt he was in my face yelling something at me - when the whole time I know he was over in his chair.

Somehow, when I have experiences like the one that just happened, they impact me highly and on a level I can't describe.

Any ideas or others have this happen?

[WePow]

Hunny -that is VERY interesting! Not sure I could do it when it happens because I think it is real at the time. I guess I just don't know what is real sometimes when I am dissociating. I sent this post to T - he wrote back that it sounds dissociative.

It really sucks that for some of us we are always on defense with life. And the ones we turn to who we need to have help us, our minds pick up on the smallest things in tone or inflection that end up setting off all defenses. I can't describe how tired I am of living that type of a life. Someone once told me that meditation was a type of dissociation. Who knows, maybe I will stop doing anything with therapy at all and just go sit in a dang corner and meditate my mind into a well of zero thought. Come to think of it, that sounds like a good idea. Society has no problem with meditation... and the vow of total silence is also sounding like a good plan of action while I am at it.

[Oceanwave]

Hi WePow,
As far as I know, what you are describing is something called depersonalization - an altered peception of yourself and your surroundings. If you had trauma or have an anxiety disorder it could be down to that. It is a kind of dissociation and can have an unreal feel to the way you experience yourself and things around you (background can move forward, etc.). Like a dream. I am intrigued by the sound effects you are describing (different words are said and empahsised compared the what actually was said). How often do you get this?

[Hunny]

((((WePow))))

Yup, it is dissociation when it happens. In a way when the therapist has me cover one eye there is a co-consciousness within because I can see the parts more clearly even among tears and stuff but the covering of one eye and feeling the feelings helps me narrow down the heightened emotions from a part or parts who need therapy that day.

Then we, the therapist and I take the time to work with the part that wants the help at that time. It isn't always the part that is the most struggling at that moment as you know, sometimes the protectors have to be helped first and then the hurting part can be helped. It is actually the therapy afterward that makes the change. The covering of one eye just brings the dissociative distortions into a place of calmness.

The therapy using the switching and other techniques is and here I quote:

"The object is to switch back and forth between the covered eyes until the experience is similar or the same, one side to the other. This process brings a stronger sense of connectedness between the two hemispheres of the brain. There are more complex techniques such as 'glitch' work, where holds or stuck states are resolved by seeking out these “glitches” in eye movement and massaging them away."

https://www.sightpsych.com/index.php...d=97&Itemid=57

The issues I come into the therapy session with are often smoothed and calmed using this. It is similar to EMDR but for me has been a more gentle experience.

I'm having a bit of rest from therapy this month, thankfully and laying pretty low here on PC, maybe sitting in a few corners and meditating, metaphorically speaking. It feels to me like I am almost like an average person.

Therapy goes on and on and sometimes a break is appropriate even necessary. I could never have said this in the first 5 years of therapy. T'woud better had none of these atrocities happened to us but since they did the therapy route is the best solution for me. I do meditate at times still on a scripture verse, using all the calming techniques first. It does bring peace. I also started using my CES unit (cranial stimulator) again because I was so anxious this month from some triggering anniversaries.


Hunny

Originally Posted by WePow

Hunny -that is VERY interesting! Not sure I could do it when it happens because I think it is real at the time. I guess I just don't know what is real sometimes when I am dissociating. I sent this post to T - he wrote back that it sounds dissociative.

It really sucks that for some of us we are always on defense with life. And the ones we turn to who we need to have help us, our minds pick up on the smallest things in tone or inflection that end up setting off all defenses. I can't describe how tired I am of living that type of a life. Someone once told me that meditation was a type of dissociation. Who knows, maybe I will stop doing anything with therapy at all and just go sit in a dang corner and meditate my mind into a well of zero thought. Come to think of it, that sounds like a good idea. Society has no problem with meditation... and the vow of total silence is also sounding like a good plan of action while I am at it.

[suzzie]

This happened to me in my last session. I felt like the T had moved to a different spot, but i wasnt sure. I was going email T and ask if they moved or not, but havent yet. I dont think the T acutually moved, but for some reason feels like they did. I'm glad for this thread, as it makes more sense now.

[sunrise]

When I recall times my T got mad at me or was upset with me (or I thought he was), I recall them as when he stood on the other side of the room from me, rather than sitting opposite from me on his couch. In truth, I am not sure he really was upset with me from a different position in the room. I think I remember his getting up and moving there, and I interpret this as his wanting to put distance between us because he is mad at me. But I am not sure this is how it happens at all. I think this may be a visual metaphor my brain constructs to match how I am feeling and how I perceive he is feeling. This doesn't bother me. I know our brains can do fascinating things! Perhaps it is a little like an optical illusion--our brain plays a trick on us. I don't think to ask T about it when it is happening because it seems real. He could very well move to another part of the room--it's not like I am envisioning him standing on the ceiling.

Originally Posted by WePow

that was when he said "But I can't respond to most of them." --- but I HEARD in a very firm voice "But don't EXPECT me to answer you back!"

I am better at detecting these "aural" illusions and I will sometimes talk about them in real time to T. It is somehow easier to spot these--I will say to T, "I know you said this, but what I hear you saying is this. Is that what you are saying to me?" Often times, his answer is "no." WePow, it sounds like you also heard T's real words and another voice too. Did you ask your T about this when it happened?

[WePow]

Sunrise, I did ask T about it. He said it sounds like a dissociative event.
Oceanwave, it happens almost every session. But that is because I usually find SOMETHING "bad" to cling onto in an effort to keep me emotionally safe from anything good with T that may end. That is how I see it. Very good hearing how others have this happen!!!! Makes me feel a whole lot more sane!

[sittingatwatersedge]

Originally Posted by suzzie

This happened to me in my last session. I felt like the T had moved to a different spot, but i wasnt sure. I was going email T and ask if they moved or not, but havent yet. I dont think the T acutually moved, but for some reason feels like they did. I'm glad for this thread, as it makes more sense now.

This happened to me too. Months later I got up courage to ask T why she had gotten up, moved to another part of the room and talked to me while standing. She expressed a lot of surprise and said that she had not. Considering the huge thing that I had just disclosed when it occurred, I too would say it was dissociation.

That was long ago. Now if T senses that I am checking out, she will lean forward, reducing the distance between us, or will put a kleenex box under my nose or something like that.