educating your T

I was unsure if I should put this in health issues or here, but decided to put it here because it relates to my T and it can relate to other issues besides just health issues.

Has anyone had the experience of having to educate your T about an issue that relates to you (or a specific group you are part of e.g. race/ethnicity, culture, religion, or in my case physical illness)? When I was first diagnosed a little over a year ago, the T I was seeing then heard everything I learned about my disease pretty much as I learned it. It seemed like for a long time as the tests were being done and then after I had a confirmed diagnosis I was telling her everything I learned since the last session at the beginning of the next session. And I was okay with that because it provided me an opportunity to process the information and I really tried to keep from annoying my friends about everything I was learning (but my T had to listen ).

But now I am seeing a different T. I was doing pretty well for a while about the whole process of coming to terms with my disease. But now I feel like I'm back sliding in the grief process and will need to talk about it again, as I am definitely returning to the angry stage. I'm not so excited to learn new things about it, and feel disgruntled (don't know if that is exactly right) about having to teach this T about the intricacies of this disorder. I just want to be able to explain how I'm feeling without having to go into a big explanation of why this is the way it is and how it works. I just want her to understand. I swear we spent a half hour one session of me answering her questions about it. And I understand her not knowing. It isn't something that a lot of people have and it is complicated. I just want her to know already.

Has anyone else had the situation where they have had to explain/teach their T about something? At one point I just got so angry about answering her questions we just had to go to another topic. Since she knows more about it now because of that, I don't think it would be so much explaining. I'm just so angry over it all I just can't think straight. Not angry at T, just angry about the disease thing in general.

Yes! I can so relate to that! But it went a bit the other way around in my case.

Former T knew everything about my did. Although I have been denying it for a long time, I really absorbed everything she said about it, had it processed in different stages, and now, well, I've accepted it and that makes things so much easier. But I had to quit her because I could not afford to see her anymore. I could get another T via insurance, which is a lot cheaper, probably good too, but he doesn't know a lot about did, I'm his first patient with it. So yes, I have to explain so much, and now I even feel like I have to defend myself on it - like he doesn't really believe me.

It may sound strange, but I feel like I'm outsmarting him... which definitely is not a good feeling in therapy.

Good question, thank you. Makes me realise that this whole new therapy is actually quite useless.

Hi Googley,

Yes, this sounds annoying. I can sympathise; you are spending half of your session on explaining something to T instead of getting on with your therapy for which you have precious little time (and / or money...).

Can you ask your T politely that you would appreciate it if she could look up this partcular illness and read around a little bit; in that way, you feel that you could make more progress in session and the session would be more useful / productive? It really shouldn't be your job to educate your T, at least not to this extent and to the detriment of your session-time.

Best wishes from
Oceanwave

I never had to educate my T about anything (except why this phone/computer is way better than that phone/computer, but this doesn't count), but I'd expect her to do the homework and google some facts about a disease or whatever the topic.

Or ask her for a free session to make up for your time educating her.

about my reliigion somewhat, not surprising & I don't mind it.

I recently used the phrase "moral certainty" and T stopped everything right there and focused on that. What did you say? What is that? Give me an example, etc It was strange how it seemed to catch her up short like that; did she hear it as a contradiction in terms or something?! I have heard it used all my life; you could say, "beyond a reasonable doubt", the two terms mean the same.

My T has taken the time to read up and learn about schema therapy as I really understand this even though her preferred method is CBT which doesnt really "do" it for me....I really appreciate her doing that for me.

I educated my first T about my religion. Then I was having a medical problem but it was never figured out until a couple years later, after I had stopped seeing her. I ended up seeing her for a couple more sessions and was only 2 days out of surgery and she asked me if it was related to the same problem I was having before. I was surprised she remembered.

I think I can understand where you're coming from, googley. My T wasn't native to my country and I often had to explain words or background experiences that would kind of make me feel lonely as I could remember my past but not "share" with her because she hadn't had that sort of past (though we were fairly similar in age).