[seventyeight]

does anyone else experience this, i mean, pain after therapy? i know there have been threads about post-therapy blues (some of which, i've started!), but at this point - i'm just going to call it "pain." that's how it feels anyway - not physical pain, but definitely emotional/mental pain. it's utterly painful (and i finally told my therapist this today) to have to leave after being there, opening up, and being totally vulnerable.

does anyone have anything new to say on the subject, or anything to say at all? i'm really just looking for some ideas on how to deal with this. as well as some comfort perhaps..

[geez]

((seventyeight)) I feel emotional pain but in a slightly different context. My pain is in therapy and right before my appt. I feel anxious and it hurts terribly to open up. I have to fight my way into being in touch with and expressing my feelings. It's this feeling I have in the pit of my gut that makes me feel incredibly uncomfortable, vulnerable and scared - like I want to crawl out of my own skin.

It's like I'm clawing my way out of this emotional pit. I know I will and can feel better when I get out of the hole (in the presence of T) but I compete internally with the thought: "what if I crawl out of the hole and someone is there waiting to hurt me (like T)?" - and that feeling of pain comes from that question of doubt - the internal struggle of should I or shouldn't I?- It's hard to fight against the feeling that I shouldn't try to crawl out of the pit as that has taught me to be safe (as that is how I survived when I was younger - many years ago).

I don't know if any of what I said has brought you much comfort but I can certainly relate.

[Gus1234U]

Dear 78, it may be that you are rushing too fast, that your therapist is digging too deep. Therapy should not leave you in pain, i don't think. Ask T to slow down, ease up, and you too. all this stuff has waited for how many decades ?? what's another week or 2 ?? be Kind to yourself~!! Gus

[ECHOES]

Do you think it is pain about having opened up and let yourself be vulnerable?
Or pain because it feels so good to be with someone who listens and accepts without judgement and you don't want to leave it?

I am getting better at it, but I sometimes feel painfulness, like lonlieness or aloneness.

[Melbadaze]

yes, when we talk about stuff, the emotions are re-awakened, and we get to feel that which never felt in the past, sometimes there is no immediate comfort, can be hours or days before comfort can be regained again, and then we have a "oh yeah" moment and we see where this pain has hindered us in our daily living accept we've not been able to connect it, it was just a free floating discomfort, at least with the therapist it can be healed, well this has been my experience.

(((((((((((78))))))))))))))

Yes, I can SO relate. There have been times I've come home and my husband has said I looked "shell-shocked".

And for me, its just what you said - the pain of opening up, being vulnerable, feeling those feelings, and then having to re-enter the world in that state.

T and I try to take time at the end of session now to help me get re-grounded. I will usually ask him to tell me a story, and he does...something funny that happened, or something cool he found online, or whatever...and it helps ground me back into THIS world, and bring me back from wherever therapy took me. Sometimes after he tells me a story, I'll tell him one, and that helps too...it reminds me of the parts of my life that AREN'T therapy. If I can get a *little* regrounded before I leave, sometimes the rest of the day is a little less painful.

Yesterday, when I left, I was still in a yucky place, so i called my best friend. I just told her that I had left therapy and needed to talk to someone from "this world". She has a lot going on, and talked and talked about that, and it helped a LOT to just listen to her, and hear what's going on right now, in 2010.

When the pain is just too much (sometimes it is), I try really hard to be gentle with myself for the rest of the day. I just let myself get on PC, or knit, we order pizza for dinner, etc. Sometimes those things aren't possible, but when they are, it helps a little.

And I try to remember that feelings always change. No matter how horrible I feel after session, I almost always feel a little better the next day, and a little better again the day after that. I know I just have to get through *this*, right now, and that it won't be this bad forever.

Therapy is HARD WORK. For me, no matter how slow I take it, it's going to hurt sometimes, A LOT. I hate it, but I know there is healing on the other side (even though it doesn't always feel like it).

to you

[WikidPissah]

yea, I can relate. with my old T I hurt badly after sessions, mostly because I felt like a failure...for some reason he made me feel really badly about myself. With my new T I ache afterward, even though we are barely bringing things up. It's kind of a longing to be heard and understood.

I also get physical pain...headaches.

[rainbow8]

I often feel emotional pain because of having to separate from my T. For me, what helps is emailing her my feelings about the session, and having her email me back. Then I'm usually okay for the week. With former Ts, I used to call afterwards. It seems like I needed that brief connection soon after my session. I don't know if that would work for you, but that's the way I cope with my feelings after therapy.

[WePow]

I did have a LOT of emotional pain ((and physical pain - where my stomach ached and I was doubled over)) at the end of sessions. But that all changed when T started giving me a hug at the end. Somehow that just fixed things "between us" if that makes sense.

[ECHOES]

Originally Posted by WePow

But that all changed when T started giving me a hug at the end. Somehow that just fixed things "between us" if that makes sense.

WePow, could your therapist call my therapist....