Why are you in therapy?

There are times when i wonder why i bother with therapy at all too. But i DO need help with all that i want to do, be, and progress towards. I tried doing/being by myself towards perfection...until I SCREWEDUP! & i just couldnt anymore & tried to kill myself. Therapy is part of my reality now alongside work, school, volunteering, journaling, trying/reflecting on experiences, struggling with shame & rage over child abuse&family dysfunction, reading, and prayer. On good days when im functional. On other days...

4 years. Once every 2-3 weeks.

I've only started seeing this T in about June this year, once a week. We are thinking of increasing it to 2x per week, as I've been really depressed and at times sui... I need the support and reassurance.

I added therapy to my health care regimen after I had a heart attack and got really depressed and scared of dying too young.
Then I found I was learning good things about who I am, how to stick up for myself, set boundaries, communicate my needs and concerns effectively, all of which made me happy. I still go to work on those issues, because I feel like there is more to do in some of my relationships. I will stop when I feel really satisfied with how my life is going and that I can handle nearly anything.

This was me for the first yearish in thearpy. im not sure my T ever really gave an answer on how me having someone to listen to my emotions will help. but she did say that friends are influenced by their perceptions, and they bring their experiences and wants and needs in conversations with you. So you may bring something up, then they act sympathetic...but that something triggered something in their own life, and now they are off and running. with therapy, the focus is only on you're feelings and thoughts. which is frightening, i know. its been the biggest obstacle for me to work through.
i have said these same exact words in therapy. i thought them all the time. it was a constant battle every week. it is still something i struggle with, and we are close to 3 years. I honeslty dont know why i feel so depressed about life when i think i had it pretty good growing up. so now my t is trying EMDR....we'll see...it starts tomrrow.

gahh...im going through that RIGHT NOW and how i hate it. hate hate hate. i literally came home from work, stared blankly at the tv waiting for the minutes to change to hours so i could pop an ambien and go to bed at a reasonable hour. those were torturous hours.

Sugahorse...you might be my therapy twin

Thanks Velcro (Apt name considering your comment about twins! )
I feel safe in T, and sometimes it is hard work and can hurt. At other times I walk out of a session feeling i havent made any headway and wasted my time.
But I'm going to try stick it out