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#1
Oct 01, 2010, 06:08 AM
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Ooooergggg. Thought I was finished with all that. THOSE thoughts. And here I am, sitting in the dark before sunrise, being pulled back to THOSE thoughts. I have T today at 2 P.M. Why should THOSE thoughts come back now. They're kind of like gravity. They pull me in a certain direction. You KNOW what direction. And being pulled in THAT direction feels awful. Can't wait for the sun to rise. Yes, I'd like to go now. This is worse than any other period in my life. I thought I was free of all that. Good med, good T. Well, it's true I haven't been able to buy my meds for a month. That could be it. I thought I was fine and since I didn't have the money I could ignore the meds. If memory serves, I'm not the only idiot on PC who's tried that trick. Well, today I have money. So I guess I'll get the meds. It's just a co-pay, but it's a HIGH copay. Haven't had any money for the past two weeks. Eating out of cans from the basement. Now all out of cat food. Try explaining that to a cat. Or four cats. Maybe three, since one appears to be missing this morning. Pumpkin. Take care.
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We must love one another or die. W.H. Auden We must love one another AND die. Ygrec23  |
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#2
Oct 01, 2010, 06:36 AM
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Have you ever worked through those thoughts in therapy?
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Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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#3
Oct 01, 2010, 07:30 AM
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Quote:
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We must love one another or die. W.H. Auden We must love one another AND die. Ygrec23 |
 Sannah
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#4
Oct 01, 2010, 07:43 AM
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yea...going off the meds feels relatively good for the first few weeks, and then WHAM, oh crap, why am I feeling this way? I have thought problems too. They plague me sometimes. It often feels like I am white knuckling it through a huge part of my life.
Good luck with T today, I hope it helps you get grounded again.
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never mind... |
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#5
Oct 01, 2010, 07:47 AM
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Just wanted to stop in with a
 and say that you are not an idiot.
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#6
Oct 01, 2010, 10:30 AM
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Hope Pumpkin shows up! I don't like the before-the-sun-comes-up thoughts, I think they show up sometimes anyway, no matter how well the meds and/or therapy works. Glad you got a plan and ability to get the meds.
I try to think of solutions to those thoughts/problems too (like you did here with deciding to going and buying the meds again) in the night. Hope you got/get enough sleep/rest well tonight!
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"Never give a sword to a man who can't dance." ~Confucius |
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#7
Oct 01, 2010, 01:30 PM
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Ygrec, I'm sorry you are feeling so down. I hope you can dump all that in your T's office and that she can help. I hope you walk out of her office feeling 10 times better. Yes, that sometimes does happen! Good news that today you have enough money to get your prescription filled. (Is it possible to get a prescription from your doc for a similar but less expensive med? There was a time I was on one med--not a psych med--and I changed doctors and got switched to a similar med that was a tenth the cost.)
I hope Pumpkin comes back. I think sometimes food banks have pet food. Would that be an option to help feed your kitties?
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"Therapists are experts at developing therapeutic relationships." |
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