goodbye letter to T

I've been trying to work on a goodbye letter to my T. I wanted it not to be too mushy, but to really show my T how much I appreciate her. I want to know what you guys think of it. My last appointment with her is this Friday. I feel like my heart is going to fall out of my chest, but I keep plodding on. Anyway here is a first draft.


H,

So, the time has come to say goodbye. And now I want to say thank you for so many things: for listening and really hearing me, for seeing me as the person I am, for being patient with me. But mostly, thank you for your honesty, for your authenticity. You have always been real with me.

Thanks for not being afraid of your own weaknesses, nor afraid to believe in your own strengths. You see yourself. Your insights come from a genuine, human place, and I can't tell you how much I appreciate this. There's not a thing about you that is canned. You are you. And because you are, you have helped me look at myself more honestly.

You've walked with me on a journey this year, and I have learned so much. I have learned so much about myself and what I really want. I've learned about my own strength and what I'm really capable of. I've reached out and made friends, and I'm not so afraid of people and of being myself anymore. Even if I get scared and get stuck, I'm on the path, and I'm not giving up.

I know you tend to brush this off, but you really are an awesome therapist. Insightful, genuine, skilled with metaphor. I know you will help change the course of so many people's lives toward the better. I am so grateful to have been one of those people. It's true that my own will drove me toward progress, but you helped me learn how to take the reins. How to steer. I will never forget you, and I'll always be grateful for the difference you made in my life.

Love,
J.


Okay now I'm just going to go cry in a corner for a while..

oh Jexa. I couldn't even read your letter. I just wanted to give you all my love. I know if I read your letter I'll cry. You are going through this with amazing strength and grace.

WOW. Seriously. I got goosebumps reading this, and I don't even know your T!

This is incredible. I doubt there is a human on earth who doesn't like feeling appreciated, even if it is their "job." I don't think this is "mushey" at all. I think it is honest and portrays how grateful you are that she was in your life. And if you are anything like me, your T may never have actually heard these things from you, so it is always so nice to hear them--even if your T *knows* how much you appreciate her.

I love it.

Oh, and speaking of goodbye letters..is it weird that I have already been thinking about what I want to do for my T when the time comes? I don't even think we are close to being finished, but I am already excited to make her something! I feel like that is the only time that is appropriate to give her a gift.

(((((((((jexa)))))))))

I think that is an awesome letter. I wrote about your letter also in your other thread. I think it says a lot about how much you appreciate her help and how much she has helped.

Jexa, your letter is absolutely beautiful!!! I'm so sorry that you have to leave your wonderful T, but I'm sure that she will think of you and will treasure the letter.

velcro, you don't HAVE to wait until therapy is over to give your T a gift. I'm giving mine some gifts for her birthday. I hope it's all right. I always used to give my Ts poems I wrote about therapy and they were glad to receive them.

(((( jexa ))))

My heart goes out to you....such a wonderful, well-written, honest letter. I am sure your T will cherish it....

((((((( Jexa ))))))) wow!

((((((((((((Jexa))))))))))))))
Biggest hugs ever to you.

I'm sure your T will treasure that letter forever and ever. It's beautiful that through all of the sad emotions, you can express your gratitude for what she has given you.

gosh...that's quite excellent, eloquent, articulate and heartfelt.

What Velcro said. Exactly. Sorry Jexa for your pain.

Jexa, I think you should give it to her, definitely. If I was the recipient I'd think 1) I'm honoured and appreciated and it's a beautiful letter, 2) there is a good deal of unresolved transference here and I hate that I have to leave like this, while our work is still ongoing. I'd also make sure you have the opportunity to take it up with your new T and further explore all the feelings behind your letter and the experience of losing your T (esp. the negative and painful ones beyond gratitude). It's unfinished business.

I agree with Oceanwave. When I quit my first T, I spent a lot of time with my new T in order to resolve my feelings for the other T. I needed to do that before I could move on.

Jexa,
I found your letter to be beautifully insightful. You articulated your feelings of gratitude and love so well. I know you are going to miss your T, oh so much, I can feel your pain when I read it. Thank you so much for sharing such an intimate letter with all of us on PC. I feel honored that you would allow us a little window into your world.

(((((((((((((jexa))))))))))))))

Just wanted to let you know I'm thinking about you.

I think any T would appreciate receiving such a letter; I know I would.

Thanks guys. I went ahead and transferred the letter to the pretty paper that I saved for just this occasion. velcro, I don't think it's weird -- I bought the paper for my goodbye letter for T about six months ago, much before we talked termination. I just saw some really pretty paper/card-like things at a craft fair and I bought a bunch of them, thinking I would save them for very special letters (at the time I specifically thought, like a thank-you letter for T when it's time to say goodbye).

I am so glad you all are here right now. Most of my life is falling apart right now. Not only is my T leaving, I am getting behind at work and with my finances, and my sister is totally disrespecting me and moving in (as roommates) with my ex-boyfriend. It’s a long story but I am REALLY upset about this. Plus the ex sent me the absolute craziest, meanest, most spiteful email I have ever gotten yesterday, saying the absolute most hurtful things. I used to love this person. I lived with him for two and a half years.

I’ve been crying every day. Just sobbing and sobbing out of nowhere. I want Friday to be here so I can see my T.. but I DON’T want Friday to be here because it is the last day I will see her. I can’t believe this is happening.

what a beautiful letter, jexa!!

Hang on, Jexa. Come here any time, there's ALWAYS someone "home".

I did not read it; don't want to cry right now!!
But, my new girlT told me she has kept letters from former clients, and they are very special to her. I know your T will love this letter.

Yes, it's going to be a hard week, and next week too. Each week it will improve a tiny bit, I promise. You and your T have got you set up with a great new T, and you'll take care of yourself by working with her.

I agree with SAWE, post anytime for support, you know we are listening!

Here for you Jexa. Sounds like you are really strugglling.

What a beautiful letter Jexa. Your T will LOVE IT!

Hoping your strong emotions soon pass over and are replaced with comforting thoughts and feelings.

It sounds entirely possible that this'll turn into a bit of cosmic justice for both of them.
That sounds like much more a statement of where he's at than anything remotely to do with you.

Of course, even a stopped clock is right twice a day. If any of it did happen (accidentally or otherwise) to apply to you in some way, it's hard to imagine that it was intended for your benefit. By any chance could you laugh it off? Well, snicker it off, at least?

(((((((((Jexa)))))))))

I'm so sorry that so many things are going on right now. When it rains, it pours doesn't it. Remember to keep breathing and take it one step at a time. We are here for you. Please take care of yourself.

(((((Jexa))))),

I'm thinking of you and want to send you hugs. I know how hard termination of therapy is. Will you and your T have any contact after she moves, like email?