Unprocessed.

I remember a long while back T asking me how I deal with disappointment? I couldn't really give her an answer, the question was to near the pain. The only thing I could offer in a disguise to hide how much disappointment pains me I just thrEw in that I don't like to play games because I find the whole need to win and otHers bad looser ways to much for me, refusing to own that Loosing proberbly does efffect me but I refuse to have any awareness of that, instead liking to see myself who can take loosing in their stride, but can I?

I was expecting something today, it hasnt come, disappointment? You bet, I sat down and thought about it, what is disappointmeNt and how do I react to it? Well I get mean and moody and resentful, I tried to think back to childhood and how was my disappointments handled? Which brought me back to what T asked last week when I said I feel like a kid throwing a tantrim and T asked if I ever did throw tantrums? I didn't Ikept it inside, did I show how much /I wanted to win games as a chiLd? No @i kept it all inside, did I admit to myself how much I wanted this thing to Happen today? No, so what am I left with? Disappointments unexpressed and unprocessed fron an entire life time. It feels huge now, why did I keep it all inside? Because my own mother couldnt deal with her disappoint,ents so wuld shut mine down, we were both left with our unhealed disappointments, she couldnt bear to witness mine, and I think i struggle with wItnessing others disappointments now. I thought one haf to get whatever it was that was the cause of the disappoint,ent, but realise once again one just needs their pain witnessed and validated and then the pain drops away, its nothing to do with actually getting.

To say to that part of myself "your disappointed, I can see that, I,m sorry it hurts I know what that feels like" is somethinf perhaps I need to do for myself, or else I am left a victim of other peoples actions, instead of taking y powr back?

What is it that you need from other people, that you get disappointed when they don't act in the way you want them to? Topic for thought...

Its not about one thing, I never know I''m disappointed until I'm disppointed and like most disappointments its about feeling as if someone you care about has let you down,or for me dealing with abandoment issues its as if they have re-abandoned me again.

I know for me it is interesting (!) to discover that I needed that person to not let me down. That is something about me, not necessarily them.

I think your find in my original post I'd already "discovered" when I said its about taking my power back.

i see disappointments as losses and unacknowledged grief is a really tough thing to deal with it. i think youre right, the ultimate goal is to be able to allow yourself to acknowledge your disappointments and the feelings that arise in response...even more important is to give yourself permission to be disappointed. permission to feel those feelings.

not only can you see that you are disappointed and understand what thats like, but you can understand WHY you would be disappointed in this situation. anyone would be.

everyone needs some outside validation of that second part sometimes....