T gave me Homework

hi rain yes i know that book.but sometimes i am just so darn frustrated by what i cant do.i see you and others here able to talk about things so freely and are so insightfull.and i see me and i got nothing ,i cant talk,i'm always terrified in therapy and other situations,i sometimes wonder if i have any other feelings other than fear and anger.i dont think i do.anyway.i even have to make a big deal about writing a letter to my T and accually give it to her and read it.it isnt rocket science but i cant do it that easily.guess i'm feeling sorry for myself today.i'm sorry.is it only 4 more days?

granite, we are each unique. You have reasons for not being able to open up. In IFS therapy, my T would say you have protectors and they are doing their job--protecting you. For a good reason!

I know I'm a broken record but honestly, about 30 years ago, that long!! I couldn't tell my T hardly anything about feelings. I could tell her what I did during the week, but feelings--no way. I didn't get what therapy was, anyway.

I didn't talk to many people except my family growing up. I didn't tell my mother stuff I should have, and I didn't ask questions. Change didn't come overnight, either. I've been in therapy for years, and it's just the last 2 Ts I've been able to open up with.

You don't have to compare yourself with anyone else. When you're ready, you'll talk more. I know you will.

thanks rain.you are so not a broken record.these are things i need to hear.you tell me about your inability to speak and it does give me some hope and it also intrigues me because it seems so imposable for me and i see someone else who it seemed equally imposable be able to use words so effectively.it is amazing

Re: how to get started...I get this completely. I am easily overwhelmed by what seems like a monumental task: to explain myself when I am already emotionally overwhelmed. So, I tried a technique I've read about, and it sometimes works: take a piece of paper, tear it down the middle lengthwise, then use one side to write facts, one side to write feelings. The idea is to help me by focusing, dividing the emotional storm into "rooms", organize by starting with as objective of a statement as I can generate, then to get going on the more anxiety ridden feelings side. I started there, still have to do it sometimes, but I also can sometimes get to the next step, which is organizing a coherent letter.....which, for sure, I couldn't have done without making an effort at objectivity--something that another person can understand quickly--before getting into subjectivity, which is almost always confusing to me and to my therapist before we can get through that to my real feelings, not just my anxiety about my feelings.
What do you think? Worth a try?

maybe ill try that someday when i am in therapy

(((((granite1))))) speaking from experience writting an open honest heartfelt letter and then reading it to T in person can be very hard. Try to be patient with yourself.

I was wondering how open are you here on PC compared to in therapy and what do you think about that? What makes one different than the other for you?

granite, that was a great letter!! your t should be happy with that. it was really hard for me when i started writing too. after lots of doing it, it's getting easier.

and as far as not being able to open up with t....... i went to a t a few years back that after about nine months he exclaimed, "i think i just saw an emotion flit across your face!" i know that sounds harsh, but we had talked numerous times about how i always had this totally blank look on my face and he couldn't read me at all. like i had a mask on. i actually thought it was kind of funny when he said it. talking to him was about the same - nothing. i say that because being able to talk to t (which still is really hard) and write to t (which isn't quite as hard for me) took a long time to develop and started with hardly being able to tell him my name. you aren't alone in having trouble talking.