[jazzy123456]

I think I'm learning that there may be something wrong with the therapeutic relationship if I am worrying more about what my therapist thinks of me then I am focusing on my own healing...at the end of the day, its not about her...its about me...but, the reason I have to do that on some level is because all good therapeutic relationships are based on trust and if I can't trust that she hasn't changed her opinions of me or is thinking negatively about me and not telling me...then I won't be able to open up effectivly...and honestly, I HAVE TOO...I have too because I'm going off to college and will only have 2 sessions left...one of those sessions I'm supposed to crack open an intimate detail of my life and there is no greater time then now that I need to be able to trust my therapist. and I can't. That being said...I decided to set up a phone session but, I'll be out of town so I'm not sure if it will work...the hope is that it will because, like I said...time is short..and I will consider finding a counselor at my new college but, I don't know. I rather just not think about stuff for a while because I spent a whole year diving into my past and pulling out secrets. Its sad that I think my therapist has changed her views of me...I hate that...I don't know what she sees but, I know its different from the day I first stepped in...and is it only me or do any of you have the tendency to be MORE negative, just because you are in therapy and therapy is designated for your problems...I tend to have a more negative spirit there and I think my therapist probably thinks its distasteful. I think I learned throughout this therapeutic relationship--that I am horrible with conflict in relationships themselves...I tend to ignore any conflict but, I can't do this in therapy and thats what makes me feel SOO BAD whenever I have a conflict with my 'T'. I feel like I don't know how to handle conflict, I just hold it inside.

[ladyjrnlist]

Don't worry about what she thinks of you. You are there for you. That said, if it concerns you, ask her about it.

i think t hates me a lot (another subject) but was able to keep seeing him by telling myself, that i wasn't there for him to like me, I was there for his knowledge, skills, and to vent....

that is what helped me go and even talk more. the pressure of whether he liked me or not was gone....

[WikidPissah]

If I thought my T didn't like me, I wouldn't be able to go. So I am sorry for that, I hope you can talk to T and clarify it, so you don't feel so awkward.

[with or without you]

jazzy, sorry to hear you are having difficulties right before you are to stop seeing your therapist in person. If something about her is bothering you, you really should go for it and bring it up.

Also, I moved away for home for a job almost 4 years ago, and my T still does phone sessions with me. I also see her from time to time if I am home for a visit and it works out. I am so thankful for her providing that continuity for me. I recently admitted to her that there have been a couple things I have told her over the phone that I don't think I would be able to say in person, because I didn't want her to see me blushing, squirming in my seat, etc. She said that was perfectly OK, as long as I got it out in some fashion. Her concern was more of the phone working out for me, not her.

[Sannah]

Originally Posted by jazzy123456

I am worrying more about what my therapist thinks of me

I can't trust that she hasn't changed her opinions of me or is thinking negatively about me and not telling me...then I won't be able to open up effectivly...and honestly,

Its sad that I think my therapist has changed her views of me...I hate that...I don't know what she sees but, I know its different from the day I first stepped in...and is it only me or do any of you have the tendency to be MORE negative, just because you are in therapy and therapy is designated for your problems...I tend to have a more negative spirit there and I think my therapist probably thinks its distasteful.

I am horrible with conflict in relationships themselves...I tend to ignore any conflict but, I can't do this in therapy and thats what makes me feel SOO BAD whenever I have a conflict with my 'T'. I feel like I don't know how to handle conflict, I just hold it inside.

These ^ sound like great things to talk about with your T.

Jazzy, I do hope that you set up a new therapist after you start school.