does it matter where your t is

please dont think im a total idiot when you read this. i dont know how i keep getting myself in these messes.

i go to a t that is in a different country than i live. i live in a border town and it is a one hour drive one way. at the time this seemed like a good idea. with total confidentiality and all. but now i am doubting the idea. the distance isnt the problem. would travel that far even here. just wondering if i should be going to one that is in another country. no matter how close. i dont know if i did something really stupid or not.

hm. that's a toughie. i think psychologically it's more difficult, because your mind probably keeps thinking, "but he/she lives all the way in a whole other country.." like you said, it's not actually all that far, but mentally, it feels as though it is.

i guess my advice would be this: if it's bothering you, you may not want to continue seeing her/him. i'm not sure how long you've been in therapy with this person (it doesn't sound like too long), but i'd say cut your losses now, before you get even more invested and then find yourself in a real dilemma. and maybe it would help if this therapist could refer you to someone in your home country.

Logically, I don't think it would matter to me, an hour is an hour regardless of where it is. But emotionally, it would be really hard to have my t live in another country. That sounds soooo far away. I agree with 78, if it's bothering you, I would consider finding a t in your country.

Hey, my T is almost 2 hours away from me, and he's in the same STATE!
Hell yes, keep seeing him. As long as he's therapeutic, what harm could there be?

I agree with Penguin. If it doesn't bother YOU, then don't switch. It's not a right or wrong decision. I wouldn't be able to do it, but everyone is different.

I'm not clear on why T being in another country is causing you distress. Can you say why?

Does in another country also mean speaking a different language?

hmmm, where do you live?

.. and a P.S., Suzzie I don't think you are an idiot at all; whatever you feel about this is real and valid.

Suzzie - unless there are insurance complications (I could see that as possible) theh main thing is to find a therapist who is a good fit for you yes? And if this one is, well IMO an hour drive is an hour drive, no matter if it's into another city, another state (I am in the US) or into another country
Unless of course they close the borders some day

I agree with others...I you like this T, if you think this T is helping you...that's the issue, not where T lives. Unless, as SAWE said, there are insurance issues etc. If you don't mind the hour drive, and you're in good hands...not a problem.

And NO I don't think you're an idiot...not even close.

no insurance isnt a problem. i just dont know if i was realistic when making this decision. i do like this t.

Are you trying to push this therapist away Suzzie? I know that you didn't go to your last appt.

what does it matter the t is across a line on map?

no you are not being stupid or an idiot to worry about this. I too would be very worried about seeing someone in another country regardless of if it was 5 minutes away or hours away. example america and canada or america and mexico. no matter how you look at it either one of those borders could be closed down for all kinds of reasons, health related war related terrorists gosh my head can think of all kinds of things. one thing goes wrong and I could be stuck in the other country and not able to get home or stuck in my own country with no way to get to my therapist. nope you are not stupid or an idiot to worry about this decision.

my suggestion is that if its bothering you this much then maybe it is time that you find someone in your own country because it would take that stress off of you but only you can make that decision.