[rainbow8]

I don't know. I just have the urge to post as a way to be connected to my T. I wish I had asked her if she was coming back tomorrow or Monday. I don't want to bother her again, but I feel like emailing just to ask her to email me that she's home. She did that another time when I asked her to and I didn't even miss a session that time.

I want to get it over with already that she reads my emails and writes back "don't worry, it's ok" or something reassuring. Or, just to know she's back.

I feel depressed because I thought I'd do "better" when she went away because of the 'bears." I know she didn't forget me, and maybe thought of me because she had her bear, (I cringe when I think of the silliness of this whole bear thing) but the intensity of my feelings is starting to embarrass me. Any suggestions?

[granite1]

i bet she will have no problem e mailing you when she gets bac

[Fartraveler]

I have such a hard time with this sort of thing, also, still. The worst time for me for the phone calls right now is just the time you're talking about -- when she's coming home, and I'm not sure whether she's still away or has returned. Those are the times that I just call again and again and again to see if she's changed her phone message yet.

Right now I do better when she's away, but that's partly because by now I tend to know where she goes (to her daughters, to her sister, to her vacation house.) It's those in-between times, when I don't know where she is that drive me nuts.

At the moment, I won't see her till after Thanksgiving, and I know she's going away for a few days then. So I'm already feeling a little bit stressed.

No advice for you, I guess that's obvious. But you're not alone, and if anyone else comes up with advice, I'll be eager to read it.

Your T sounds just lovely, though. She might be the one with the good suggestions.

-Far

[rainbow8]

Thanks, granite.

Since my title was a question, I wonder if others post to feel connected to their T too? I feel like she's "here" if I write about her. Not exactly "here" but it's a way to lessen my anxiety, though I'm not sure if it's helpful or not.

[rainbow8]

Thanks, Far. Yes, it always helps me to know I'm not alone even without advice. Yes, my T is a gem which is why I worry so much about her safety, though I worry about everyone's safety too!

Why is it so hard when our Ts go away, anyway? That's too general a question, I know.

[jexa]

(((((rainbow))))) sorry your T is gone so long

[rainbow8]

Thanks, jexa. The thing is it's not even so long! It's a day less than 2 weeks since my last session was on a Thursday and I see her on Wednesday. It just seems like FOREVER though. Maybe because we have an email exchange each week after my session. Now there's nothing except for my emails to her which won't get answered until she's back, or most likely not at all.

Just wanted to say that I do understand the 'forever' feeling. The lack of clarity about exactly when she's home and when you'll hear from her must feel really difficult. From everything you've said about her, I think she'd be fine with you emailing just to say 'can you let me know when you're home and safe'. For her summer holiday, my T came back 'home' on Saturday night but not back to work (and phone contact) till Monday morning. When I told her my anxiety about whether she'd get home, she offered to text me on the Saturday evening just to say 'I'm home safe and I'll text again on Monday morning'.

I'm glad that posting here lessens your anxiety and helps you to feel connected to your T. I certainly don't think you should be embarrassed by the intensity of your feelings. They are understandable in the context of that relationship and of the things you needed but didn't get until now.

I think I post to feel connected to T sometimes....and on the flip side, when I need to take a break from thinking about therapy, I find that I tend to not come to the board very much...which is where I'm at right now.

So, yeah, I DO think posting makes me think about T, and feel that connection, and remember the things that go on in therapy. I guess I just don't always WANT that!

[SenatorPenguin8081]

Originally Posted by rainbow8

I don't know. I just have the urge to post as a way to be connected to my T. I wish I had asked her if she was coming back tomorrow or Monday. I don't want to bother her again, but I feel like emailing just to ask her to email me that she's home. She did that another time when I asked her to and I didn't even miss a session that time.

I want to get it over with already that she reads my emails and writes back "don't worry, it's ok" or something reassuring. Or, just to know she's back.

I feel depressed because I thought I'd do "better" when she went away because of the 'bears." I know she didn't forget me, and maybe thought of me because she had her bear, (I cringe when I think of the silliness of this whole bear thing) but the intensity of my feelings is starting to embarrass me. Any suggestions?

Hi. What do you mean by "bears"?
I gave my T a coin from a foreign country that I visited which was a place that he had always wanted to visit once. I didn't think much of it but I felt good being able to give him something in return, be it a small token, a coin in fact (duplicitous meaning there?).

I would have a hard time accepting anything from my T though, but for many people that is a way of being "connected" to them while they are in between appointments, which I know a lot of people struggle with. I think you shouldn't feel silly about trying to maintain a connection to your T while you are gone. Anxiety needs to be dealt with in healthy ways, and posting here with others who also struggle with various T issues alongside our own traumas and pathologies and life issues is HEALTHY.

I think your brave for posting your emotions, which is something many of us struggle with. So, thanks. And yes, keep posting. Maybe emailing her is a good idea. It certainly couldn't hurt, and in fact, I see it as good idea of preventing relapses while away. I'm sure your T agrees or he would never have given you his email address.

[WikidPissah]

if it helps you feel connected then post away rainbow....

I'm sure your T will email as soon as she can...she cares about you!

[rainbow8]

I did email T again asking her to email me when she gets home. I'm starting to panic; I don't know why! I think she will most likely be home tomorrow. Maybe she's on the plane now or changing planes. I think it's about 10 hours flying time, though I'm not sure.

[rainbow8]

Senator P. Sorry I didn't explain about the bears. You'll probably think it's silly, but my T thought it was a good idea. I read a blog on PC called "A Love Affair with your Therapist". It wasn't about a real love affair, but about how some people (not sure if it was about women and Moms only) need to make up for the relationship they didn't have with their Moms, and how the T can do that. The author bought 2 identical teddy bears, one for her, and one for her T. When her T went on vacation, the author/client took both bears home with her and it helped her to feel better and not miss her T so much.

I emailed the article to my T and she said we could try that if I wanted to. So, I bought 2 cute little bears and she keeps one in her office, and I keep one at home. At my last session, I said I was going to take hers home with me. She said, how about if I take mine with me on my trip instead? I liked that idea better. It meant SHE would have something of mine. So, I have my bear at home, and she said she'd take good care of hers.

If I think about it, it's the dumbest thing ever! It's about that "parts" stuff you're not too crazy about. I don't know if any man would go for this idea. It's a girl thing, though if a little boy missed his T, I suppose it could work too.

I bet you're sorry you asked!

[SenatorPenguin8081]

Originally Posted by rainbow8

Senator P. Sorry I didn't explain about the bears. You'll probably think it's silly, but my T thought it was a good idea. I read a blog on PC called "A Love Affair with your Therapist". It wasn't about a real love affair, but about how some people (not sure if it was about women and Moms only) need to make up for the relationship they didn't have with their Moms, and how the T can do that. The author bought 2 identical teddy bears, one for her, and one for her T. When her T went on vacation, the author/client took both bears home with her and it helped her to feel better and not miss her T so much.I emailed the article to my T and she said we could try that if I wanted to. So, I bought 2 cute little bears and she keeps one in her office, and I keep one at home. At my last session, I said I was going to take hers home with me. She said, how about if I take mine with me on my trip instead? I liked that idea better. It meant SHE would have something of mine. So, I have my bear at home, and she said she'd take good care of hers.

If I think about it, it's the dumbest thing ever! It's about that "parts" stuff you're not too crazy about. I don't know if any man would go for this idea. It's a girl thing, though if a little boy missed his T, I suppose it could work too. I bet you're sorry you asked!

LMAO that's awesome! Women have far more guts than men do for real!
I don't think that you should downplay it or call it stupid if it works for at least some people. I know some guys--grown men, that draw pictures for there T's or give them things. I can't say I fully understand all the "parts" stuff to really make an educated opinion on it one way or another so you are safe there LOL.

So your T returns tomorrow then or?

[rainbow8]

I woke up early to see if she emailed me. Not yet. It could be that she's not getting here until tonight. Next time she travels I have to ask her when she's coming back. Or, she could be home sleeping from jet lag. I'm sure emailing me isn't number 1 on her list!

Thanks for your kind words, Senator P.

[venusss]

She is probably going to sleep when she comes home... You don't really get enough rest on vacation and on the plane... don't worry, rainbow. She will be okay.

[rainbow8]

I know. I've flown overseas several times, but my H used to travel a lot and he says you're more tired going there than coming home. It's the "not knowing" that bothers me. Just as if she were a member of my family.