[geez]

I told my T that I see her around town (as she sees me as well) on occasion and it makes me feel uncomfortable because there's someone out there who knows all about me. On the other side of the coin I do feel comfort because it makes me feel like she's in/apart of my life (even though she's not).

We then talked about how it's ok if I want to say hi to her but she won't go out of her way to say hi to people out of respect for their privacy.

The other night a funny thing happened and I saw her at the ballet. She didn't see me but I saw her. It was the weirdest experience for me. We were both sharing the same experience. I guess it makes her a little more 'human'?

Anyone else with these experiences and how do they effect you?

[Symbiosis]

Geez, I would not be comfortable either.

Despite all odds, I have yet to see T outside of T's office, even with his wife being Big Boss here. With the one exception of a work function where I kind of froze and spent the whole time trying to avoid him or rehearse our inevitable "introduction."

I think it is good you feel some positives in seeing her. Do you see her around often? Like weekly?

[shezbut]

I have seen T's and former docs as I was shopping at a grocery store.

I said "hello", smiled very lightly, and walked on. Personally, I'm not at all outgoing. It's much more comfortable for me to avoid contact . That's me.

Shez

[Oceanwave]

Originally Posted by geez

The other night a funny thing happened and I saw her at the ballet. She didn't see me but I saw her. It was the weirdest experience for me. We were both sharing the same experience. I guess it makes her a little more 'human'?

Or makes you a little more 'therapist'?

[jilliebeanmn]

I go to the same church, and live in the same small town as my T, even though his office is 25 miles away from where we live. I see him all the freaking time.

[rainbow8]

I used to see my former T a lot since we live about 15 minutes from each other and attend some of the same events. It's strange but since I quit therapy with her I only ran into her once!

I never really got used to seeing her "around town." I always felt like I HAD to talk to her, but it was awkward. She would talk briefly to me; she never ignored me. Sometimes I felt better knowing she was where I was; sometimes I felt worse. In a couple of weeks, I am going to see her for sure at a party. I don't think I care anymore, but it will still seem strange.

Seeing her in another environment did make her seem more "human", as you say. But I was frustrated because I had to "pretend" not to know her so well in front of others. I felt like I was acting! I also wanted to talk to her as my T at those times, but I couldn't.

So, it's going to feel weird to see your T in RL, no matter what, I think.

[geez]

Originally Posted by Symbiosis

I think it is good you feel some positives in seeing her. Do you see her around often? Like weekly?

I see her sometimes at the library, grocery store, gym or we pass each other via driving in town. I see her about once every couple weeks outside of therapy in passing - sometimes every week outside of therapy. There's apart of me that loves seeing her as there's a security in knowing she's 'there'.

One of the things that kind of bothers me that I haven't mentioned to her yet is I'm thinking about joining a church in my town and I think it's a church that she goes to. I'm not sure I want to go now and I feel a little bit scared about it. - so I'm putting this off for now.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts ((Symbiosis))

[geez]

Originally Posted by rainbow8

Seeing her in another environment did make her seem more "human", as you say. But I was frustrated because I had to "pretend" not to know her so well in front of others. I felt like I was acting! I also wanted to talk to her as my T at those times, but I couldn't.

So, it's going to feel weird to see your T in RL, no matter what, I think.

Thank you for your sharing your experiences rainbow. I too sometimes wish I could talk to my T outside of the therapy room.
And it will probably always be weird. The pull push feeling of wanting to say hi and at the same time wanting to hide .

[geez]

Originally Posted by Oceanwave

Or makes you a little more 'therapist'?

[granite1]

lol i freak out just seeing my T walking in the hall to do paperwork before she comes to get me.i think i might just passout if i saw her outside the office

[mightaswelllive]

I see my T in public often and I have to say, my reaction really depends on the context of the situation. There have been times that I've smiled, waved politely, or casually said hello. There have been other times where I've been startled and literally run away. There have been times when I've seen her and she hasn't seen me and even times that she has told me she saw me. I think where we see each other and also where we are in my therapy makes a big difference in what happens. Recently it was terrible to run into her and I totally freaked out - but usually, it makes me feel really safe to know that she has a presence in my real life.

[Omers]

I used to go to the same church as one of my T's. She only aproached me when it would seem more weird if she didn't but most of the time I would seek her out for a hug before she left (we had OK'd this in a conversation at her office). It was very helpful to me. She was my first T and I was terrified of her. Being at church with her let me see her interact with others. I was able to learn that she was a genuinely caring person and not just being nice to me because I was her client. Some 10 years after working with her we are friends. She still laughs at how I would cower in the corner of the chair in her office completely terrified of her then come bounding up to her 3 days later at church for a hug!
Another T I worked with went to the same grocery store I did. I knew from our first session that we lived in the same area so had already had the "what to do if I run into you" conversation. She said it was up to me and what I was comfortable with. When I did run into her I said hi to her (by name) and she looked right thru me as if I weren't even there. I stoped working with her shortly there after.
I have never run into my current T outside the office but am pretty sure she would approach me, say hi and get a hug... but that is because she knows I would feel hurt if she didn't.
I would ask about the church thing too... Most of the T's I have worked with are active in churches and many had clients that attended their church. Most said it was a bigger deal to the client than it was to them.

[betasheep]

One time I encountered a therapist I was seeing for substance abuse issues at an AA meeting. He was getting his award for 10 years of sobriety. I knew he was a former user and that he went to AA so that was no big deal. I tried to go up to congratulate him like everyone else did after the meeting, but he tried to ignore me and blow me off. I don't care if he wanted to invoke confidentiality. He simply didn't act the way human beings did to other humans. Although I had other issues with him, that was the straw that broke the camel's back. I dropped him after that.

[ladyjrnlist]

My T has said he will not approach me outside the office, but I can approach him and he will engage me. So far, we haven't had to try that out, thank goodness, even though we live not too far from each other.

[kitty004567]

My T is coming to see the play I'm in. I told her to feel free to come backstage afterwords and say hi (family and friends are allowed backstage into the wings to greet the cast). I don't have a problem with it. But that's me. She was worried about someone figuring out she's my T and I said just because you are a therapist doesn't necessarily mean you're my therapist. You can just be my friend for the night :-) She's now really excited about getting to come backstage.

[ladyjrnlist]

Originally Posted by kitty004567

My T is coming to see the play I'm in. I told her to feel free to come backstage afterwords and say hi (family and friends are allowed backstage into the wings to greet the cast). I don't have a problem with it. But that's me. She was worried about someone figuring out she's my T and I said just because you are a therapist doesn't necessarily mean you're my therapist. You can just be my friend for the night :-) She's now really excited about getting to come backstage.

Oh, that is totally cool!

[geez]

Originally Posted by kitty004567

My T is coming to see the play I'm in. I told her to feel free to come backstage afterwords and say hi (family and friends are allowed backstage into the wings to greet the cast). I don't have a problem with it. But that's me. She was worried about someone figuring out she's my T and I said just because you are a therapist doesn't necessarily mean you're my therapist. You can just be my friend for the night :-) She's now really excited about getting to come backstage.

Very cool kitty! - Thanks for sharing.

[SenatorPenguin8081]

Originally Posted by kitty004567

My T is coming to see the play I'm in. I told her to feel free to come backstage afterwords and say hi (family and friends are allowed backstage into the wings to greet the cast). I don't have a problem with it. But that's me. She was worried about someone figuring out she's my T and I said just because you are a therapist doesn't necessarily mean you're my therapist. You can just be my friend for the night :-) She's now really excited about getting to come backstage.

Wow. Your brave. I don't want the lines to cross with my T, which is what this would feel like to me. You know, like in Ghostbusters---it's very dangerous to cross the streams!

[with or without you]

I posted something about this in a thread of rainbow's, I think this would terrify me in a way, LOL. I mean, isn't this so weird? It's not like they just live in their office or something, they have a life. Fortunately, this has never happened to me. I think if I saw her somewhere I would not approach her, but if the situation was unavoidable and we made eye contact, I might wave or smile at her and keep on going.

[kitty004567]

I've been in therapy for the last 10 years. lol I've kinda come to the feeling that they're people too who have a right to be wherever they want. I've gotten over the anxiety of running into them (I had a teacher who was the T of the guy I was seeing). Then I had a teacher who was a T that I liked so much I saw her business partner which worked out well. The first T I saw (for 7 years) was so much a part of my life I had to quit seeing her...she started to sound like my mother. It just doesn't bother me. Of course, I'm pretty open about the fact that I see a T.