trying to get through the night

I'm sick. Really, really sick. I have a huge infection, I went to the dr earlier this week (after my T really, really encouraged me to call the dr, I finally did it!) and I got antibiotics.

But I'm not feeling better, and actually am a lot worse. Fever, chills, nausea, vomiting, PAIN. So much pain.

I called the on-call dr who works with my ob/gyn and she told me to go to the er. I couldn't do it. The idea, just thinking about it, made my whole body go numb and my ears start ringing and my chest hurt. The idea of going into an er and having a pelvic exam...way way way WAY too triggering. I don't have anyone who could go with me, and even though I knew I could call T (not to go with me, just to talk to her and get some coaching), I didn't want to disturb her holiday.

So right now I'm just trying to get through the night, I'm in so much pain and I feel so sick. I can't drag myself out there in the dark and cold. I'm hoping I will be miraculously better in the morning, but if not I will have to go to the er because my dr's office doesn't open again until Monday.

(((zoo))) That sounds awful. I'm sorry you are feeling so sick and that you are in pain. Do you have anything you can take for the pain? I hope you can get some rest while you're waiting for the energy to be able to go to the ER.

(((((((Zooropa))))))))

How are you doing this morning? Maybe you'll feel better once the antibiotics start to work.
Can you let yourself call your T today?

((((zoo)))) you poor thing! how yucky! I hope you can call T this morning, and get to see a doc. Please let us know how you are!

(((((((((((Zoo!)))))))))))))) Please do what you need to do to be well~! Thinking of you!

I am sorry to hear you are in so much pain. I hope that relief comes soon.

Oh, Zoo. I wish I could be there for you, hold your hand, and go with you to the er. I am so sorry you're in such pain. I want to give you courage and strength to do what you have to do to get the medical care you need. I hope you are feeling better or, if not, please call your T today to help you get to the er, if you need to.

(((( zoo )))))

Oh NO! I'm sorry you're feeling so badly! I hope you start to feel better soon....Please go to the ER if you're not feeling any better. I know it's an awful place to be, but they can help you...and you need relief. Please update when you can. I'm worried about you....(( HUGS ))

Oh man zoo!!!!! This sucks SO MUCH!!!

I hope you are feeling better this morning. If you're not, I hope you find a way to make it to the ER. Believe me, I know, pelvic exams = AAAAHHHHH! Especially at the ER. I am terrified of doctors in general, mostly due to this kind of stuff. But I hope you find a way to face it for your own health, zoo!

(((((((((((((Zoo))))))))))))

I know it is scary. Please take care of yourself. Call your T. Have her help you. You deserve to feel better.

Zoo, I know just even going to the ER is not fun...I hate the waiting and the sometimes unsavory characters and unpredictable behavior that comes with the territory there. I am horrified of internal exams as well, obviously less than you given what you said about them being a trigger. However, your symptoms of vomiting and fever sound especially alarming. I hope you will get help now. Is there an urgent care clinic near you that is not a full-scale hospital type ER? I find those places more comfortable. Good luck.

How are you doing, zoo? Let us know as soon as you're on, okay? I hope you're feeling better!!

(((((((((Zoo)))))))))))
Don't wait too long. Infections can get worse if the medicine isn't working. I'm pretty sure they can assess the symptoms you are having without actually doing a pelvic exam. I used to be a medic. Insist they draw blood or whatever, especially considering they apparently already know the diagnosis since they prescribed antibiotics.

I went to the er. It was pretty horrific, but I'm home now with lots of meds on hand and I plan to sleep my *** off in a narcotic haze. Just wanted to post here so I didn't leave you guys hanging.

Also I did talk to my T, but not until after I left the er. She was concerned and told me to keep breathing, eat something, try to sleep, not try to escape the flashbacks but not hold onto them. And to call her if I want to or need to.

Glad you are back and that you went!!! (((zooropa)))
I hate doctors too, and I really hate the ER the most! Strange, but it's different when you are a medic (my old life) and when you are a patient. I have now seen it from both ends and wow, it sucks to be a patient!

Update us mmkay?

Thanks for the update.
Be proud of yourself for making the difficult choice to go to the er and do self care even though it came at a high price. Be proudthat you made it through. The flashbacks will end and the accomplishment will bring you courage as you continue to heal.

Proud of you for going, and taking good care of you!
Wishing you peaceful, restful, healing sleep.

(((((((((((((((((zoo))))))))))))))))))))

Glad to hear it Zoo. What did they end up finding (but if it's TMI or too triggering I understand completely)

my T asked me the same thing, and I don't remember. I know the dr told me some stuff, but I have no idea what. They sedated me for the exam and so it is all sort of a foggy blur.

I will ask my own doc when I see her next week.

((((((((((((((((((zoo)))))))))))))))))

probably for the best. Feel better soon.

(((((((((((((Zoo)))))))))))))

I'm so glad that you took care of yourself. I'm glad you got meds so that you can get better. Drink lots of fluids.

((((((((zoo)))))))))) Oh scary, sedation.. did you ask for that or did something happen and they decided to sedate you? I hope you feel much much better soon. It is hard to deal emotionally when our physical reserves are taxed by illness. Take good care of yourself, promise?