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#1
Dec 14, 2010, 07:19 AM
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i know I posted about this in my other post but i am just trying to wrap my mind around this and understand why.one of the things that has got me so down is that my son isnt comming home when i thought he was.i told her this in an e-mail and her responce in T was that she wants me to imagine he is comming home and that that will help he feel better.it is a lie and i cant believe it.all i could say durring the whole session was that i'm scared.she said she knows that and she doesnt want me to feel any worse than i do and that is why she is asking me to do this.she wants me to have a little hope she said without it i am left with nothing but the huge dispair that i am feeling and she is worried that will get worse.
i just cant understand how this can help he .how will i feel when he doesnt come home when he was supose to?i know i would be even more let down.and it also left me feeling like my life has just gotten so bad that even others feel that the only way for me to feel better is to believe in a lie.that i have nothing else. i'm scared because i am so depressed and this is the answer she has come up with.i dont think i can handle all this much longer i am finding it harder and harder to just get through my daily stuff.i have been calling out of work because the idea is getting to be to much all i want to do is hide in my head,SI,dissapear,and not deal at all.i cant even tell my T any of this my not being able to talk is worse than ever.i dont even want to talk to my husband any more. my T answer to all this is to believe in a lie can someone please help me understand this.
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BEHAVIORS ARE EASY WORDS ARE NOT  Dx, HUMAN Rx, no medication for that |
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#2
Dec 14, 2010, 08:26 AM
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perhaps help with griefing his non return would have been more theraputic..sometimes life does deal us lemons...learning to cry and not fall apart is an important lesson...I don't think its a lie as such, but perhaps its more about her inablity to deal with negative feelings????
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 granite1
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#3
Dec 14, 2010, 08:32 AM
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Is your son coming home at all? Just not when he had planned to?
If so, then it seems to me that your T's assertation really isn't a lie. It's just that the homecoming has been postponed. Not that the disappointment you must feel at the delay is any less, but there is (I think) an end to it. Am I correct in this? |
| granite1
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#4
Dec 14, 2010, 08:37 AM
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wow. I don't know how believing in something that isn't going to happen can help. I'm not a T, so I can't see any reasoning in that at all. I am very sorry your son won't be there, that really sux, and I can't imagine what that would feel like. Especially not knowing exactly where he is and what he's doing. I would think a T would help you work thru that grief and process it, rather than ignore it.
Just my opinion though. 
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never mind... |
| granite1
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#5
Dec 14, 2010, 08:45 AM
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OMG what a rollar coaster i just got a messege on my FB from my son saying exactally this"it has been decided.i will be able to come home without having to make any changes to my leave so i'll be comming home on the 5th hahahah" not only does this mean he is comming home but he isnt going wharever they were going to send him.he is going to be ok .i was so scared he wasnt.thanks everyone for your support it means so much.you are all so patient with my needyness
.now if i could only figure out all this T stuff
__________________
BEHAVIORS ARE EASY WORDS ARE NOT Dx, HUMAN Rx, no medication for that |
| deliquesce
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#6
Dec 14, 2010, 09:31 AM
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granite!!! I am SO excited and happy for you and your son!!!!!
 What I was going to say before I read your wonderful post is that I don't think your T meant to believe in a lie. I think she meant that we can always hope things will change. And they did!!!! Or, maybe she is psychic!!!!! Or, she meant that it would help to imagine when he IS coming home even if it wasn't going to be now.
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| granite1
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#7
Dec 14, 2010, 09:48 AM
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Quote:
__________________
BEHAVIORS ARE EASY WORDS ARE NOT Dx, HUMAN Rx, no medication for that |
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#8
Dec 14, 2010, 10:12 AM
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(((((((Granite)))))))
That is so wonderful that your son is coming home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
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| granite1
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#9
Dec 14, 2010, 10:19 AM
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WOW....when I got to the part where you said...they arent gunna send him where they were going to...I nearly started crying.....the dancing hotdogs caught my eye...then I was smiling.I new stuff was better..........>.<
 ......I am thrilled....and its sooo awesome how the community comes to a persons side when the chips are down!! ((((((((Granite 1 ....pc)))))))))
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| granite1
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#10
Dec 14, 2010, 10:33 AM
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Quote:
__________________
BEHAVIORS ARE EASY WORDS ARE NOT Dx, HUMAN Rx, no medication for that |
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#11
Dec 14, 2010, 11:13 AM
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#12
Dec 14, 2010, 04:02 PM
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i'm really happy for you, and your son, granite. i'm so glad you'll be able to spend time together.
hopefully this will also help lift your mood... and maybe give you strength to address your original question in session with T? i am curious as to why she thought pretending would work also. |
| granite1
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#13
Dec 17, 2010, 10:07 PM
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I'm so happy for you. Maybe your son can explain more to you about his actual safety and level of risk?
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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#14
Dec 18, 2010, 07:29 AM
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sannah i am so hoping he can now that i will be able to talk to him in person.he is in intell and isnt able to say a lot but i hope it will be more face to face just to reassure me
never thought he could be so good at keeping secretes.are you baxk home now?
__________________
BEHAVIORS ARE EASY WORDS ARE NOT Dx, HUMAN Rx, no medication for that |
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#15
Dec 18, 2010, 07:45 AM
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(((((Granite))))))))
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| granite1
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#16
Dec 18, 2010, 03:43 PM
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Yes granite, I am back home now and very happy about it!
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
| granite1
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#17
Dec 18, 2010, 03:52 PM
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Quote:
__________________
BEHAVIORS ARE EASY WORDS ARE NOT Dx, HUMAN Rx, no medication for that |
| Sannah
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#18
Dec 18, 2010, 03:53 PM
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Quote:
__________________
BEHAVIORS ARE EASY WORDS ARE NOT Dx, HUMAN Rx, no medication for that |
| Reply |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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