[Irine]

Sometimes, my therapist would call my flash backs fantasies.

He agreed that i sing to him but after my singing he focused on was much more on how alluring i looked to him - and that his feeling while watching me sing MEANT that i had tempting behaviors that need to be addressed. He hinted that the assault i have been through happened because of those so called luring unconscious behaviors.

From the very beginning - first official session after making diagnoses - he stated ( SEEING ME SECOND TIME IN HIS LIFE) that i have a lot of sexual fantasies.

Last week he said "we have the heat on, so you can take your jacket off" I did have a sweater beneath the jacket and i know that it is like "make yourself comfortable" but still i felt warning signs all over my body when he said it.

When i meant to just tell him my experience of him he smiled and cynically said "thank you for analyzing me" When i told him i did not mean to analyze him and i knew it was my subjective experience. He said i was defending myself and escaping. Then he apologizes but it did not help my feelings.

After diagnosing me with DID in addition to PTSD, and doing such wonderful work with my selves, self esteem - well at least helping me - directing and reminding me here and there - today he told me - "i don`t think you have DID you have PTSD we will start exposure therapy. "

uuuugh!!!!

[racee]

Originally Posted by ladymacabethadmunsen

Sometimes, my therapist would call my flash backs fantasies.
So i guess after seeing you only a few times he already sized you up by telling you oh no your flashbacks are all in your head i know i wewnt to school for this. (so since i have read your previous posts) he has done nothing but insult you...what a wonderful therapist he's a winner
He agreed that i sing to him but after my singing he focused on was much more on how alluring i looked to him - and that his feeling while watching me sing MEANT that i had tempting behaviors that need to be addressed. He hinted that the assault i have been through happened because of those so called luring unconscious behaviors. he keeps bringing up how alluring you are too him...who's haveing the fanttasies here you or himm...hmmmm i say him..is that what's all on his mind? yes what a wonderful therapist blame the victim...this is why a lot of victims don't talk becasue os people like him

From the very beginning - first official session after making diagnoses - he stated ( SEEING ME SECOND TIME IN HIS LIFE) that i have a lot of sexual fantasies. are you talking about these sexual fantasies to him, or is he again tryign to put words in your mouth to think that you have a problem that you don't have,...he sure is stuck on the subject of sex a lot

Last week he said "we have the heat on, so you can take your jacket off" I did have a sweater beneath the jacket and i know that it is like "make yourself comfortable" but still i felt warning signs all over my body when he said it. wow! what a way to start the conversation "if you haven't noticed i put the heat on in here so umm yeah take off your coat" i wonder what he was really thinking? i think you know when you are hot and need to take off your coat..you don't need to be told!

When i meant to just tell him my experience of him he smiled and cynically said "thank you for analyzing me" When i told him i did not mean to analyze him and i knew it was my subjective experience. He said i was defending myself and escaping. Then he apologizes but it did not help my feelings.
can't anyone apologize without someone looking into why there was an apology just take the apology! this is meant towards him not u, i reread what i said and noticed how it didn't sound right!

After diagnosing me with DID in addition to PTSD, and doing such wonderful work with my selves, self esteem - well at least helping me - directing and reminding me here and there - today he told me - "i don`t think you have DID you have PTSD we will start exposure therapy. "
he sure seems to be jerking your chain, he diagnoses you with A than does work with you about it, than after all that work says you don't have it...sorry to say this but huge red flags keep popping up, and i don't know what he is trying to set you up for but it's something. he is pushing and pulling you in all directions and manipulating your words. i personally would not start any more whatever therapy with him!
uuuugh!!!!

sorry if i seemed a little harsh i just recognize a lot of the signs he is putting up and i think it's time for you to get out, before you become another victim.

[pegasus]

Yuck!

Please get another therapist.

((((((( ladym )))))))

[Irine]

oh
yeah...you are both right. Pegasus and racee.

i am trying to get over him.
My problem is = i love mean people for some reason. For some reason i enjoy...they carry this for me....lol. I did fall in love with the creature....SENSING that behind the psychological mask he mighty be a jerk. There is something in me that LOVES mean people and loves getting into relationships and fighting with them. This is a problem. I felt some power from him.

It feels like another alter. The biggest one.

Well...as for alters...
You know - my problem to throw myself out of this right now is that:

a) He`s the only safe place i know for now.
b) I am afraid that my alters has done things that if i tell the law will be involved.
c) I am in love with him and this will cause more depression.
d) I kind of got a plan to leave him at some point - yeah....

IDK - damn it when he started the DID thing i started feeling....well not just better - but - more true. More real. Because my alters do not call him anymore that does not mean that they do not exist. One got angry and called him about a month ago or so and threatened to kidnap his kids. Before another one called him and ...well....i still don`t get it..something a little bit complicated happened there. ONLY AFTER THE WHILE CRYING CALL AND MY FORGETTING, AND THE DIRECT OTHER THREAT I DID AND DID NOT REMEMBER - did i started feeling that therapy was actually CONNECTING ME!!!

My falling in love with him awaken my "lost" desires for dancing singing songwriting and drawing....and i am happy and grateful that it happened.
I suspect sometimes he better hospitalizes me and after i go through all that horror i am more aware and awake to myself. Maybe i can control that. So that i don`t act in destructive ways and not know about it only from flash backs...

BUT...if flash backs from the night are real...i am afraid that it is better that people do not know...

[WePow]

I have DID and can tell you that a healthy therapist will not cause your alters to be in danger in any way. My T makes sure I am safe with him - all of me. And he is very stable - a rock. That is needed for healing to take place.

Something sounds "off" with the therapy you are talking about. It doesn't sound healing.

[racee]

I f you are going to stay with him and deal with things on your own time..just one little piece of advice you can either take or throw away. Always stay in control..if he starts to shut you down, cut him off and gain the upper hand...who cares how he wants to label that...
if he feels and senses you are in control he will start backing off.

[Irine]

Originally Posted by racee

I f you are going to stay with him and deal with things on your own time..just one little piece of advice you can either take or throw away. Always stay in control..if he starts to shut you down, cut him off and gain the upper hand...who cares how he wants to label that...
if he feels and senses you are in control he will start backing off.

This is what i am trying to do.