Returning to Therapy

Hi,

I have decided, or better put, my unbelievable circumstances have directed me to return to therapy, which I did of my own volition for the first time last year. My treatment ran about nine months, and though in hindsight I can see the value of the experience, whilst in progress I was probably a fairly recalcitrant client on many levels. That aside, has anyone resumed treatment with the same therapist after a hiatus? Were you able to build a similar rapport? Was it more beneficial (helpful, successful--however you'd like to view it) the second (or third, fourth, fifth, etc.) time around?

Thanks for your input. I am hesitant to embark on this journey in some ways, though I do admit it would be good to reconnect with the kind person who tried to help me some months ago.

I reurned to the same therapist after a break. It was actually better for me to return to her than someone else because she already had the basic history and considering the state I was in, it was far better for to not have to A) go through all the history again and B) start over from the beginning trying to build up the trust before I could really get anywhere.

I was with my first therapist for about 7 months, then took a break of 4 months, then resumed. I had really needed a break because I was under a lot of pressure in my life, and had been trying to make progress on solving my problems in therapy, and had reached a point where we were not making headway. Therapy was adding to my stress and not helping anymore, so I needed a "vacation" from therapy in order to cope with my life better. After 4 months, I was ready to start working on the problems again in therapy. I think I only went for about 3-4 sessions and realized then without a doubt that I had reached the limit of this therapist's ability to help. So, I guess you could say, the return to therapy didn't go well, but it actually didn't go badly. I think the long break from therapy helped me know better what would and wouldn't help, and it was easier to conclude that therapy was not helping once I had more distance and objectivity. Some months later I began therapy with my current T, almost accidentally, and immediately it was apparent he could help me (he had a bigger skill set than the first therapist).

Nola, I think your therapy sounds like it has the potential to go really well the second time around. You now have the benefit of hindsight and as you said, you see that you were a recalcitrant client. That makes me think you will not be recalcitrant this time, and that can only help. Good luck

Thank you, Dark_Dreams and sunrise for your thoughtful replies. This is such a wretched, difficult time for me that even the most basic decisions feel out my reach, and every day tasks are insurmountable in many ways.

Dark_Dreams, I guess I took for granted the history my therapist already may have, as I don't recall much of the introductory talk at the moment. Life was so frenzied when I made that first appointment, and I was intimidated by the process, in addition to the anxieties and woes that had driven me to seek help. Thank you for reminding me too that trust takes time to build in any relationship, and I don't think I have the stamina to re-establish that right now.

sunrise, thank you for sharing your experiences. They offer a lot of perspective and familiarity--I too had to stop therapy as I felt it had hit a wall, but not from a lack of willingness from the doctor. I was set on what I believed about an external situation beyond my control, though I could intellectually agree with the points of view my therapist offered. He even mentioned that I would not progress if I was unwilling to let go this situation in which I was mired, and that I should consider the time, effort, and money that potentially would be wasted by my insistence that a rut is a progressive place to live. Of course, it's far more complicated than a simple rut, but I'm being intentionally vague and euphemistic here. I want you to know I appreciate your encouragement, and need it too. I see no end to the dark days in which I now live, and cannot believe how good I once had it...though there is a large part of me that says I did and still do appreciate all I had.

Nola, my heart goes out to you.
" I see no end to the dark days in which I now live, "

I am very sad about that because I do understand that point of view. And I know what it is like to live in a situation that cannot be escaped (at the time) for some reason. My college T wanted me to get out of the situation I was in (living with one of my primary CSA perps). But I couldn't do it. I had no choice at the time.

But there are ways to plan and figure out how to get to the better place. And going back into therapy to help yourself get skills is very important.

You have no idea how much I appreciate your compassion and empathy, WePow. Thank you.

I have fought my way out of so many detrimental, unbelievable situations in this life that it feels beyond my capabilities to summon the strength to continue the struggle. This does not mean I have any intention of harming myself or anyone else...just that I can't see past the sorrow and the current grief and loss. When I introduced myself here a little over a week ago, I remember mentioning I'd once had coping skills, or I thought I'd had them. I think I've been through more than my skills can handle, or my skills have somehow been depleted.

I have called my former therapist, who is very sweet, smart, and attentive, and as soon as I return to where I live (I'm at my family's house at the moment), I will schedule time with him. He was nice enough to speak with me for about fifteen minutes, and sympathetic and kind as well. I lucked out when I found him.

Thank you again, WePow...I need encouragement these days, and I'm not too great at asking for things of that nature, even in the best of times.