What are the main issues that might come up in therapy to cause you to be embarrassed? What kinds of things happen that make you shut down during a session?

Things like transference, feelings for your therapist, not trusting your therapist....

[Dark_Dreams]

One thing that she has brought up a time or two that stops everything is when she asks about my relationships. Well not so much relationships but if sex and intamacy comes up. That's not something I think i really need to talk to anyone about except the person I am with and I am not entirely sure she is comfortable even talking about my relationships sometimes.

Beyond that, generally things just go. Depending on mood and all, at times when she asks about family I stop there and move onto something else but as a general rule, if she asks something I roll with it

[Chronic]

Originally Posted by Squiggle328

What are the main issues that might come up in therapy to cause you to be embarrassed? What kinds of things happen that make you shut down during a session?

Things like transference, feelings for your therapist, not trusting your therapist....

Transference is a big one. Ive been seeing t for nearly 3 years and still haven't been able to have a proper conversation about it. And if he talks about sex. He's a sex therapist so this happens a lot. I just wish the chair would swallow me up!

[Melbadaze]

anything that reveals my true self...anything that has no heavy defense...then I become very tingly...

[WePow]

SU thoughts and SI issues tend to shut my T down. I think he may sometimes wish they shut me up as well!

[WikidPissah]

ugh...you know it's so bizarre but I never know what is going to cause me to fade away. sometimes I am in a seemingly harmless convo with T and then out of no where I fade away. weird.

I'm kind of like Eileen - sometimes the strangest things make me fade away and lose myself and the room.

I'm actually really comfortable talking about transference (or whatever it is). Which is a relief, because it feels like it would be hard to hold on to.

I guess talking about sex feels kind of...ugh... I always warn T first: "I'm going to talk about sex now" lol.

Mainly, it's things from my past that I've never told anyone, and that are just so hard to say. I write a lot during therapy, because I want it OUT but I can't say the words.

[SpiritRunner]

Hard for me to talk about really intimate things, like sex, of course....if I do mention it, I'm always trying to use odd, vague phrasing. And my T will say it straight out! Not many topics at all seem to be uncomfortable for her (even su thoughts or si)...she's been willing to talk about anything I have the nerve/courage to bring up.
I had terrible trouble talking about the attachment feelings I was beginning to have a couple months ago, too.......it's hard for me to talk about intimate, intense emotions in real-time (that is, as they are happening!). If it's from the more distant past, somehow I can feel detached from it and it's not so hard to talk about - although some specific details I'd rather not.

[rainbow8]

I haven't shut down in therapy for years, but I still get embarrassed by anything to do with anatomy, physiology and sex. I can't say the words, even words that people use as euphemisms or slang.

Transference and my feelings for her. I hesitate and look anywhere but at her.

When we do IFS, I close my eyes and then it's easier because I don't see her looking at me.

[with or without you]

- attachment/clingyness to T
- sex
- dating
- a couple embarrassing things that happened to me in childhood that I still haven't brought up yet, I think I only will be able to write them down and even then ask her to refer to the situations as "Thing 1" and "Thing 2" or something like that.
- anything else that sends my social anxiety through the roof, lol

[sunrise]

Originally Posted by Squiggle328

What are the main issues that might come up in therapy to cause you to be embarrassed? What kinds of things happen that make you shut down during a session?

I feel embarrassed to bring up things I have dealt with before in therapy and thought I was over. I get the feeling that we talked about this, worked on this--sometimes extensively--and were done with this and I should be healed on this now. But then here it is again, and I am embarrassed to show T how inadequately I have healed. I'm not healed on this after all!! I know that is silly, but it can embarrass me. It usually comes up as a surprise (hey, that still hurts!). When I can bring it up and we work on it more, that helps. But sometimes it does shut me down. I hope T doesn't get bored by working on the same stuff. But it is my therapy and T told me once that I didn't have to "perform" when I come there (it's not my job to entertain him), so if he gets the same old same old sometimes, well so it goes.

I have other things I don't bring up with T not necessarily because they are too embarrassing but because they are too painful and I'm not ready to deal with them yet. Ahhh, so many reasons to not bring things up....

[sunrise]

Originally Posted by WePow

SU thoughts and SI issues tend to shut my T down.

WePow, I think it is interesting that you identified what causes your T to shut down rather what makes you shut down. I guess I never thought of what makes my T shut down and wonder what topics make people's Ts do this? (Hope that is related enough to the original question to not be a hijack).

I have noticed that my T shuts down when we talk about "female" issues like menstruation, my ovary blowing up and having to have it removed, my past childbirth experiences. These can be important conversations for me. I am getting to the stage where menopause is not too far off in the future. I have various female stuff going on. And I think childbirth is related to feelings one has for one's family and children and their current life stages. My T just doesn't have much to say when I say anything on these topics. Maybe they are too female-ly graphic for him? Like maybe he's squeamish or can't relate? Or he thinks these topics are not worth discussing? He sits there and lets me talk but doesn't respond or encourage the conversation or really engage with me at all. Sometimes he is quick to move us on to another topic, which is usually not his style. (He is not this way about talking about sex--not that we talk about it much.)

[geez]

I used to be embarrassed about my feelings for T etc.. now I'm over it. I've been on a roll lately with not shutting my T out during the session and I'm being totally 100% real - ok maybe 99%

It's a process of building trust and going through some difficult situations/feelings about therapy among other issues for me to get to where I am now.

[with or without you]

Originally Posted by sunrise

WePow, I think it is interesting that you identified what causes your T to shut down rather what makes you shut down. I guess I never thought of what makes my T shut down and wonder what topics make people's Ts do this? (Hope that is related enough to the original question to not be a hijack).

I have noticed that my T shuts down when we talk about "female" issues like menstruation, my ovary blowing up and having to have it removed, my past childbirth experiences. These can be important conversations for me. I am getting to the stage where menopause is not too far off in the future. I have various female stuff going on. And I think childbirth is related to feelings one has for one's family and children and their current life stages. My T just doesn't have much to say when I say anything on these topics. Maybe they are too female-ly graphic for him? Like maybe he's squeamish or can't relate? Or he thinks these topics are not worth discussing? He sits there and lets me talk but doesn't respond or encourage the conversation or really engage with me at all. Sometimes he is quick to move us on to another topic, which is usually not his style. (He is not this way about talking about sex--not that we talk about it much.)

this is why I won't see a T of the opposite sex

[ballet_girl]

sometimes i am afraid to bring up things with her that seem like they are too small, like she would think I was weak for letting small things hurt me.

if we transition into a hard topic i can usually talk about it, but if there is something hard that i want to talk about it seems like too much just to blurt it out, so i clam up

i have a tendency to take things the wrong way, so if t said something to me that emotionally threw me off but logically i knew she didn't mean it in the way i took it, i would clam up. after i began to trust her more i started to read less into what she said.

[chicken_wing]

SEX! My weight/eating issues. My wanting her to adopt me...

t doesn't like talking about si, inner child, about drugs and alcohol, he won't shut up.........

[learning1]

practically anything. I'm perpetually afraid t will think I'm too self involved or introspective. That comes and goes though. Sometimes I don't feel worried about it.