[jazzy123456]

i just called and it went horrible. she seemed distant, like she didnt want to talk but idk maybe it wasnt me...who knows what people are doing...or going through at certain times...ughhhhh i wish i never started therapy really...i guess nothing bad happened but nothing good happened either. i was just awkward and uncomfortable.........

and whats funny is i now know what i want to say...
but i already hung up the phone
basically, she said she would help with my transition period and
she really hasn't done anything at all!

maybe she thinks thats what i want
but its making me very distressed.

[WePow]

Jazzy, I am so sorry that your session went this way. Not good.
Can you make a list right now of those feelings?
Then bring up that list right away at the start of session.
It is important for you to go ahead and jot these emotions down!

[rainbow8]

Was this a phone call or a phone session? I'm sorry it didn't help you.

[SpiritRunner]

I'm sorry it went that way.

[geez]

(((Jazzy))) Can you tell your T what a transition looks like to you?

[with or without you]

I'm really sorry this happened. It sounds like this is not the therapist for you. I might find another T when I was ready...but it's so easy to say when I'm not the one in the situation. Take care

Originally Posted by jazzy123456

and whats funny is i now know what i want to say...
but i already hung up the phone
basically, she said she would help with my transition period and
she really hasn't done anything at all!

((((((((((jazzy)))))))))

I am SO FAMILIAR with realizing right after I leave therapy, or right when I hang up the phone with T, what I *really* need. Why does it happen that way?!

Can you call her back? I will call T and say, "I'm sorry, but I realized what I REALLY needed was to say (or ask or whatever) _________".

You've already reached out. Let yourself ask for what you really need.

This is one of the major reasons that I write down my thoughts and feelings before each session. I journal for days and then condense it down into something we can go through in one session.

I used to get so frustrated when I left my sessions. Feeling like I didn't accomplish anything and felt worse than I did when I went in. I know everyone has their own way of doing therapy, but writing things down has been a lifesavor for me. Even though the things I write are hard for me to actually talk to her about, it still works for me.

If there is something I want her to read, but don't want to talk about that day, I will indicate on my notes. This way, she knows what is bothering me and can get an idea about why I may be so anxious, depressed, frustrated, or whatever. Sometimes she may prompt me about it, and ask if I am ready to talk about it. If I am not, we will address it the next time, or when I tell her I am ready.

[jazzy123456]

thanks for the input u all.... but this wasn't a phone session, i'm soo sorry i couldnt be more clear with everyone... this was just a phone call that didn't last more then 2 minutes or so because i was afraid i was inconviencing her...i was just calling her because of everything i've been writing here on pc, about my transition out of therapy, into school...i didn't really say much to her because i felt like she didnt want to be bothered ...hmmm...also because i usually email her and went from doing it once a week toooo not doing it all for a little over a month and i wanted to keep it that way...so i could not be sooo attached, so i figured a phone call could be a new option this time.

[Sweetlove]

Squiggle, that's funny you said you journal now because you used to leave feeling worse than when you came in. That is exactly what I am going through now, forgetting to say things or discuss things I REALLY wanted to talk about. Recently, I started writing things down as soon as I think about them...I usually use my cell phone or a scrap paper in my purse or something. It's funny because I have all of these notes scattered on my phone, envelopes, scrap paper, my assignment book...if anyone saw these they would think I was a nutball..lol. I haven't actually brought them into session yet, just review them right before. Maybe I'll start having him read things I want him to know but don't want to talk about...good suggestion.

[jazzy123456]

and i did write down what i want to say when i call her back, i thought about calling her baack and was sure of it when i was soo angry but now i'm not so sure. i wrote down what i would say on the phone this time... though.
i just now found time to respond twice to on this thread after crying sooo long....
and i just admitted to my mom that i was violated as a little girl!!!!!!!! Tonight, i did...because somehow it came up...sry if that triggers neone...but, i love how that is one of the main things I used to discuss in therapy with my T...it just feels sooo ironic...that now would be the time that I finally discussed it with my mom...i didnt do it intentionally at all..

[Kacey2]

Whoa......
Read Sunrise's post and mine. What is happening here with all the parent talk things? Such hard conversations to have!

Originally Posted by Sweetlove

I haven't actually brought them into session yet, just review them right before. Maybe I'll start having him read things I want him to know but don't want to talk about...good suggestion.

Since I am naturally one who writes out her feelings, this comes easy for me. I do ask her to read them OUT LOUD in front of me. This allows me to feel/know that I AM being heard. Even though I believe she does read my emails, I still need to hear her read things out loud.

She has indicated that these have been tremendously helpful for both of us. There are things I can write down that I would never have the courage to speak to her openly about. Once she reads my notes, that opens the door for conversation. Most of the time, I can elaborate on what I wrote after she reads it.

I can pour myself onto a piece of paper, but don't yet have the courage or confidence to just say it to her. One more thing, I am in such a state of anxiety when I go to a session, that half the time I cannot remember my name, much less something I want to talk with her about!

[Sannah]

Originally Posted by jazzy123456

was just a phone call that didn't last more then 2 minutes or so because

i was afraid i was inconviencing her...

i didn't really say much to her because i felt like she didnt want to be bothered

so i could not be sooo attached,

I'll bet you projected these feelings onto the interaction with her......

How did the conversation with your mom go?

[Sweetlove]

Jazzy, can you make an appointment to see her in person? It really sounds like you need a face-to-face meeting to discuss the phone/email situation and the recent conversation with your mom. Thinking about you!

[jazzy123456]

my mom said A LOT of positive things. my mom is my rock and i love her dearly.
its hard though, because i keep hearing the ONE negative thing ring in my head
a kazillion times...
she kept saying..."we all make mistakes" over and over and over
"you made a mistake" etc.etc. definitley made me feel like it was my fault for what happened. i dont think my mom wanted me to feel that but, i couldn't tell her how i really felt...too many emotions were bubbling inside of me.

[Sannah]

I'm glad that your mom was supportive. Do you want to go back to her and discuss what bothered you about the conversation?