[Can't Stop Crying]

At the end of a T session, with all the stirred up memories and emotions, it's hard for me to just "turn it off". It's not like walking out his door is just going to magically put things on hold until we meet again. Sometimes I think that is why it is so hard for me to open up, worried about running out of time and being stuck in the middle of something and worried about being left alone to process everything that I do manage to get out.

Does this happen to anyone else? What do you do with the "stuff" so you can keep functioning?

[Melbadaze]

happens lots...i normally have to find my physical balance between leaving the room and T's front door, wiping snot and tears as I do...get in me car and just drive home...i know I can ring or email T..but am so familair with this aspect of therapy that I know I do survive...its not easy, nor pleasant, but with time you do learn ways of dealing with raw emotions..something that before therapy I never did, never elt hem, just numbed them out...sometimes it just is that way...being in the middle of this sort of work is hard...

[SpiritRunner]

I understand this too.....it's so hard to just leave and leave it there, like my T keeps telling me to do. She'll be like, take a deep breath, leave it here.....it'll be here when you come back. But it goes with me - always! The emotions, the memories and thoughts, words said/unsaid, the tears I couldn't cry.......but like melba, I've learned I will survive, hard as it is. I try deep breaths, and if it was really hard, sometimes I go get myself an ice cream cone and take a drive! This helps to drive away the feelings......I can just let them be and be with them and then they begin to feel manageable.
I also have this trick of making a sort of oasis in my mind, a calm space to go to even when there's a storm of emotions.....I focus on that and it helps.

[ladyjrnlist]

Yep, the feelings come with you when you leave. That's the hard part. MIne can last for days. My T tries to take about 15 minutes at end of session to just talk about banal things to settle me down before I leave. That always helps. I also try to end the session before he can, makes me feel like I have some control.

but am so familair with this aspect of therapy that I know I do survive...its not easy, nor pleasant, but with time you do learn ways of dealing with raw emotions

I agree with this. I know I will survive. Mostly I have already been through the worst part, surviving the past stuff, now I just have to talk about it which is hard, but I will not die from doing it. I have to keep telling myself this.

[googley]

When I am having this happen a lot or really bad, I ask T to make sure that there is 5-10 minutes at the end of session for me to re ground myself and help me to refocus on the present. Usually we spend this time talking about current things like the weather, or what I have planned for the week (this happens a lot). This time helps me to feel more stable when I leave session so I am not all over the place. Then it isn't as bad when I actually leave.

Good idea, googley. I hadn't thought about doing that.

[Suratji]

I go home and sit in a comfortable chair with my eyes closed for sometimes up to an hour. It's kind of a meditative process to get myself centered again. I am usually exhausted emotionally and physically after a session.

[Chronic]

Yes- happens to me a lot of the time. It's very difficult to deal with and I usually end up contacting T one way or another after session because there's always so much emotion left over. I also have problems with controlling/coping with my emotions anyway, so T is used to me reacting the way I do. Have you told you T you have difficulty with this? Maybe he could suggest some ways to make it easier for you

[PTSDlovemycats]

Happens to me EVERY time i have to end my session. I always feel like I am going to puke, which I tell her. To which she always says "Ofcourse you do, C'mon now Kiddo, get your shoes back on, I needs to get going, You will be OK and I will talk to you later."

As therapy progresses you learn how to deal with it. It takes awhile and the process is not easy to go through, but like others have said, it does get better. I find myself constantly looking at my watch. Making sure I have time to finish something, and checking to make sure that if I want to bring something else up, I will have ample time to talk about it. I also like to be the one to end the session. Like someone else said, it makes me feel more in control.

My sessions are normally 90 minutes now. That helps a lot. Knowing I can email her that day if I need to, helps a lot as well. She does respond to everything I write as long as I tell her I need her to. Sometimes I think there needs to be a transition room for us to go into before we actually leave the office! I think having a nice massage before I leave the office would help me settle back down.

It almost feels like you are walking away naked and trying to scramble to put your clothes back on. The problem is that you cannot find your clothes! Not all sessions end in such emotional turmoil. I am getting better at realizing my sessions can be pleasant, they don't always have to take me to places that cause me to cry and be so emotional.

[ECHOES]

Yes, quite often. Even after sessions that are relaxed and not intense. I have driven home in tears more times than I haven't.

I also haven't figured out whether it's better to just get into something new, wondering if there is time enough for it, or try to hold it for another session. Neither feels so hot. So I have kind of given myself a limit of 20 minutes: if there are 20 minutes left then I feel like there may be enough time to get to it or to most of it, less than that I don't know.

It IS hard.

My T's office has become something of a "container" for me, I think. Every single story I've told, every single big feeling, every single journey inside, has really happened inside that room. In fact, it's almost overwhelming - lately, I've had to step out of the office for a minute during my session...it's starting to feel overfull!

T always has his blinds closed and I usually dim the lights, so when I leave his office and walk outside into the fresh air, and the brightness, it feels like a transition. I like outside, and the sky, and just being able to be outside and breathe helps a little.

I always, ALWAYS leave a message for T after session (or a few messages) while I drive home with my leftover feelings/thoughts/questions. T leaves me a message in response that night or the next morning. That helps, because sometimes the words are so hard to get out while I'm sitting there, and this way I don't have to hold them until the next session.

Sometimes I feel horrible...I mean REALLY HORRIBLE...after a session. Like my soul has just been ripped out or something. I usually post here, which helps. And then I remind myself that if I can just make it through until tomorrow, I'll feel better. It doesn't FEEL like I will ever feel better, but from experience, I know it's never as bad the next day. I have a really busy life, so I just do the things I have to do, which usually involves driving my boys to activities all over town. I'm grateful for that distraction, although I'd really rather just curl up in bed most of the time.

I think for me, what made it easier over time, was the realization that the feelings would CHANGE. So, even though we're going deeper and things hurt more, I have this awareness that it won't hurt that bad forever.

[sittingatwatersedge]

((((((((( cantstop)))))))))
wow this one hits me close.....

one thing I do is to journal our session as best I can... I draw a cloud and put a title on it representing session, and I put inside the cloud, IDK, dream, you said X last week, I remembered X about my FOO, etc etc, and then I write out as much as I can even over a couple of days. It helps me remember that two real people were sitting there and talked about these real things; or what happened to me that was real, dreams, etc.

This may not help you when you are actually leaving, I have no magic formula for that. After 3 yrs I got up the nerve to mention to T last week that some of her other clients leave there smiling and laughing, and how much it amazes me because that's not me, whatever do they come in to see her for, wardrobe color coordination? Check balancing? and she laughed gently (she is that way) . She said, I get very few who go out that way. I thought, well lucky me, I happen to be here when those FEW are coming out.....

[ECHOES]

Originally Posted by sawe

...whatever do they come in to see her for, wardrobe color coordination? Check balancing?

LOL. too funny. Thanks for this.

my car, that is how i deal with it. my poor car has seen tons and tons of tears that t doesn't even know about... i don't even park in his parking lot, two or three lots over in a dentist office... gotta even cross a street.... just need to vacate from his office entirely....

i remember one time i was leaving and i was just fine. then t wanted me to go and make another appt, walking up to the receptionist triggered me so badly, t caught on. and back into his office he ushered me,,, made the appts himself. LOL, he has never asked me to go and make appts again....

[cautious hope]

Originally Posted by Can't Stop Crying

At the end of a T session, with all the stirred up memories and emotions, it's hard for me to just "turn it off". It's not like walking out his door is just going to magically put things on hold until we meet again. Sometimes I think that is why it is so hard for me to open up, worried about running out of time and being stuck in the middle of something and worried about being left alone to process everything that I do manage to get out.

Does this happen to anyone else? What do you do with the "stuff" so you can keep functioning?

I promise myself something special like coffee or a donut, a trip to good will, bookstore, library, etc. I start talking about my after shrink plans with my T near the end of session. It helps me stay resolute. Hard but usually possible. Hope it may help you.

[rainbow8]

I used to cry in my car after almost every session with my former T, and I usually called her even before I got home. We had 50 minute sessions. Now, with 90 minute sessions and a new T, it's easier because we can cover so much more and I don't feel rushed. It's still hard to leave because of all the stirred up feelings. Once my T walked me to my car because I was sitting outside in the lobby feeling miserable.That helped, but of course she can't always do that.

What helps most is knowing that I can email her that night or the next day. What also helps is coming to PC and starting threads!

[Dani]

Yes this happens to me a lot. I hate when I do start to open up a little and then it's the end of the session and I feel so vulnerable and like I'm falling apart and then the session is over. Sometimes my T will ask me if I'm okay and I just tell her yes because I know the time is up. So I've had so many times where I've left the building just sat in my car and cried.

[Sweetlove]

This is something I need to talk to T about because I always leave feeling uneasy. It's like we spend a good 20 minutes to really get into something, then only have a half hour to be "in it" before I feel anxious that I have to wrap up. I need some sort of transition so I don't leave feeling paralyized or not being able to drive after my session. Definatly something I need to talk to my T about soon!