[PTSDlovemycats]

Hey I replied to my thread in "text T to tell I am mad at her" but i was thinking i should have started a new thread with what I wrote. There should be an option to let you do that. Well I really don't want to retype what I wrote but if anyone want to see what I wrote it is in the other thread that had hopeully somehow become this thread...

[Perna]

Originally Posted by PTSDlovemycats

I guess the other thing that is bothering me about all of this is that T said that she was going to start pushing me harder so that we would be able to get through some more things hopefully sooner than later because there is a possibility that she might take a leave for a bit and she said that she needs to know that I will be ok when that time comes.

She also said that she needs to feel that I will be ok then too so that she won't have to worry about me constantly. She said that she will think about me but doesn't want to be constantly worried, She wants me in a good place so she can think "oh I wonder how Cats is doing now, especially since she is so much better now than how she was doing a year ago." She said that she NEEDS to feel ok about me in order for her to take her leave or she will not be comfortable with it at all so I need to do my part and to quote her "You need to work your *** off, get better, not try to kill yourself anymore, don't get yourself to the point where you are spinning out of control and I have to drive you to the hospital again and admit you to the psych ward myself. and if you could do all that rather quickly that would be optimal.Thanks" Yea sure, -no pressure at all now is there T?

I think she wants to cram the next 2yrs of my therapy into 6 months so that we will be done so that we don't have to worry about having to find me a replacement T while she is off...But I think she knows the truth. It's not going to happen!! Maybe after I talk to her and tell her how overwhelmed I am when I see her on Tuesday, she will ease up on things for me.

I can only hope!!!

I don't think Ts have that much control over our therapy sessions that they can or even want to make them go faster/slower than we are able or willing. You should be pushing yourself if you want to go faster.

[PTSDlovemycats]

Thanks perna for your good advise. and also for bringing over my part of that thread that I wanted here. How did you do that??

[Suratji]

[quote=PTSDlovemycats;1752503]Thanks perna for your good advise.

Yeah, I've noticed that Perna always has good insights. I wonder if she is a T.

[PTSDlovemycats]

Perna are you a T??

((((((((((PTSD))))))))))))

There is no timetable on healing. I don't think we can really speed it up or slow it down.

AND, your healing is for YOU....so you can live up to your full potential, and find your true self, and be comfortable in your skin and in the world. NOT for your T, so she can go on a break without worrying!

Good for you for planning to tell her that you feel overwhelmed!

[PTSDlovemycats]

Thanks Treehouse, you are right...

[eskielover]

You don't have the ability to control how long it takes to process what you need to process in T, but you do have control over getting yourself to this point:

not try to kill yourself anymore, don't get yourself to the point where you are spinning out of control and I have to drive you to the hospital again and admit you to the psych ward myself.

Learning coping skills & the ability to handle your thoughts without letting them get out of control should be what your T focuses on.....but processing everything you need to process is a long term sort of thing. You can get to the point of being in control without completely processing all you need to process. Hopefully that was what your T was trying to point out even though it didn't sound quite like that.

Think you will be in need of having a T during the time of her leave no matter where you are in the processing of your issues, so placing you in good hands while she is away should be something you require out of her anyway.

[PTSDlovemycats]

Thanks, you have a good idea on what T should be working on with me. Thanks again!

[Perna]

Nah, not a T (I'm too selfish, impatient, and judgmental to be able to sit all that time and listen to other people :-) but I slept at a Holiday Inn Express and had 18 years therapy with the same therapist between 1978 and 2005.

To bring over the other quote; I replied, pushing the quote button in the other thread and then copied the quoting but didn't push the post button but instead, I came over here to this post and pasted the copied stuff out of my computer's paste buffer.

[PTSDlovemycats]

Thanks Perna!

[PTSDlovemycats]

So I talked to my T today to try to figure out why I was mad at her earlier this week because I couldn't quite grasp it. I know she triggered a lot but I wanted her take on it as well.

She said that I could be mad at her for lots of things that she said when I saw her last time last week. I said I wasn't sure what because I don't really get mad at her. She said that I should and I asked her why? was she trying to piss me off or get me angry at her? She said no but when she says the things that she said to me last week some patients have a really hard time hearing it and taking it it and take offence to it and get mad at her. Or they get mad because they don't believe her.

It wasn't that I didn't believe her, I think it was more that I had a hard time hearing and accepting it. Also she said that her trying to push me and get me to break old patterns and try to change and create new ones probably upset me as well because I can get quite set in my ways and am not the biggest fan of change.

Well that is my update for now...