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#1
Mar 09, 2011, 04:25 PM
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So I just got back from seeing my T. She told me today that I am the healthiest person in my family. Apparently she has known this for years but didn't think that I was in the right place where I would be able to handle hearing that. I was floored. I asked her then if I am the healthiest person in my family then why am I the only one in my family that sees a psychiatrist and am the only one that has been hospitalized (several times) She said it was because I am trying to fight the dysfunction of my family and that sometimes it makes me sick. She said that now that she has told me this that I need to start grieving about the fact that I am the healthiest person in my family otherwise I won't be able to grow emotionally or develop any autonomy (part of my developmental stages that I am stuck on) until I do this. YUCK! She said that it won't be easy and it will suck and it will feel gross and yucky but she will be there for me the whole time to help me through it. Not looking forward to it at all!! Then at the end she offered me some cookies but I refused and told her that I don't feel well. Her reply "Well how could you with everything that I just told you!?" Thanks T. Has anyone else ever grieved anything like this before? Any advice??
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 Dr.Muffin
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#2
Mar 09, 2011, 04:38 PM
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I've not gotten that far into therapy, but today was the first day T was blunt with me and called my dad "a monster". I know he's might be right but it was still a blow to me and I told him I didn't want to hear it. I think it's hard because I don't want to give up the fantasy that somehow it could still all be a perfect family someday.
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| Dr.Muffin, PTSDlovemycats
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#3
Mar 09, 2011, 04:40 PM
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#4
Mar 09, 2011, 04:58 PM
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I have heard a version of that from my t. Yes it did hurt. I wondered if it was a little harsh/melodramatic at the time. Wow it seems like your t explained so well why she said that. It makes sense that we need to see how we are stronger.
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| PTSDlovemycats
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#5
Mar 09, 2011, 05:00 PM
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| lastyearisblank
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#6
Mar 09, 2011, 05:29 PM
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My T has told me I am healthier than my mom...last session he said "to be honest, when I think of your mom, I get angry". I've told him the truth about my parents marriage, how I was treated, our current relationship, etc. So, he's developed quite an opinion about her. He also said that he thinks I'm a bit stronger than her because I choose to go to therapy and work on my issues, and better myself..when she continues to deny that she needs it.
It upsets me because I love my mom so much and she is the most important person in the world to me...but yes, she has her isses and tends to be one of the biggest issues in MY life. My T and I both agree that she needs therapy desperately.
__________________
"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." - Maya Angelou "If you get a chance, take it; if it changes your life, let it. Nobody said that it would be easy, they just promised it would be worth it." |
| Dr.Muffin, PTSDlovemycats
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#7
Mar 09, 2011, 05:40 PM
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__________________
BEHAVIORS ARE EASY WORDS ARE NOT  Dx, HUMAN Rx, no medication for that |
| PTSDlovemycats
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#8
Mar 09, 2011, 06:08 PM
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#9
Mar 09, 2011, 06:25 PM
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#10
Mar 09, 2011, 07:32 PM
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__________________
---Rhi |
| PTSDlovemycats
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#11
Mar 09, 2011, 08:38 PM
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Wow. My T called my dad a monster too. Just struck me reading this.
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__________________
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| PTSDlovemycats
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#12
Mar 09, 2011, 09:37 PM
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__________________
"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." - Maya Angelou "If you get a chance, take it; if it changes your life, let it. Nobody said that it would be easy, they just promised it would be worth it." |
| PTSDlovemycats
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#13
Mar 10, 2011, 01:26 AM
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Wow! I was told that same thing years ago...I didn't buy it at the time. In the following years, so many examples of family disfunction surfaced yet the family blamed it all on me , telling me since I was the one on meds and seeing a T it must be ME!.
Finally , too many years later, a different T told me that my reaction, my "illness" was a normal reaction to crazy circumstances. I can buy it now..   . It is very hard work but worth every ounce of pain. Trust your T to show you the way.
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| Dr.Muffin, PTSDlovemycats
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#14
Mar 10, 2011, 01:37 AM
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#15
Mar 10, 2011, 03:39 PM
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__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
| PTSDlovemycats
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#16
Mar 10, 2011, 10:22 PM
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Apparently, according to my T...
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| Sannah
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#17
Mar 11, 2011, 03:27 AM
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So I had a horrible dream about being in the hospital and my T was there and she couldn't help me because she didn't understand what was wrong. I told T my dream when I saw her today and she said that I dreamt that because of what she said to me about being the healthiest one in my family and my psyche is trying to make sense of it so it is trying to understand it while I am asleep because apparently according to my T it doesn't make sense to me yet. Hmm...
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| Sannah
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#18
Mar 11, 2011, 11:38 AM
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I read your post and went  My T has never said those words but she sure has gotten into the neighborhood, and it's the pits. It took me a while to understand that being called the healthIEST is not a judgment that one is HEALTHY (and therefore an implication that one is malingering / unworthy of therapy / wasting the T's time, etc). Yr T has expressed it very well. I find that the grief comes up by itself from time to time, in waves, when I take some quiet time to think back over early days. I'm always surprised at how deep it is. I never know when it's going to hit though, not something that I can just summon... maybe yr T can give you some pointers? Mine hasn't offered any but I might ask. Thank you for this thread, 
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| PTSDlovemycats
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#19
Mar 11, 2011, 04:58 PM
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Your welcome for the thread SAWE. Thanks for your kind words and yes I think that I will talk to my T about it and ask her for some pointers. We have so much going at the moment in therapy right now, that I am starting to find it overwelming...
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#20
Mar 12, 2011, 08:03 AM
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I don't want to go to sleep tonight and have anymore crazy dreams related to any of this!!!
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#21
Mar 12, 2011, 03:44 PM
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My sleep patterns are HORRIBLE right now!!
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#22
Mar 12, 2011, 04:58 PM
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#23
Mar 12, 2011, 10:16 PM
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Doesn't that suck? I look like crap right now!
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