I see T today.

For the last three nights, I have had HORRIBLE insomnia. I am SO tired, but I go to bed and it's so loud in my head. And it's frustrating, because I'm too sleepy to even keep my eyes open, but there I am, awake. And then when I DO go to sleep, I have nightmares that wake me up, and there I am AGAIN, awake.

I get lots of exercise and fresh air, I don't drink caffeine late in the day..there's no reason for me to be awake, but my brain is so busy. I am really really tired.

Part of me wants to cancel T today. I feel like I'll either be too vulnerable, because of my lack of sleep, or I'll be too brain-dead to do any work. And part of me thinks that I need to go and work out whatever is going on in my brain, so it can quiet down and I can get some rest.

I've never canceled at the last minute, so I know T wouldn't charge me.

I have a feeling the right thing to do is to GO. But, wow. There's something about it that's scaring me.

Maybe I'll go and take a nice 90 minute nap in my little T World of Safety.

[lastyearisblank]

Sorry you had such a crappy night Treehouse. I get this often too, either too much caffeine or stress. When I wake up in the middle of the night with nightmares, I know it's stress.

I know that anxiety too- it's like the fear of blurting things out because all those thougths didn't quite get a chance to settle down during the night.

I hope you get to go anyway and have a nice relaxing session (and maybe a nap!) I have always wanted to a have a session that was just nap time.

[Elli-Beth]

Some of my best sessions have been after nights like that! I think its because I'm so worn out that my guard is down and it all just oozes out.

[granite1]

taking a nap in the safty of your T office

[SpiritRunner]

I'm sorry it's been so hard, tree, but I think you're right, you DO need to go and be in a safe space!

[WePow]

((((Tree))))

How would you feel if you didn't go? If there is any regret, the right thing to do is to go. Hope you have a good session if you go!

[Sweetlove]

Tree...you may have already had your session, but I wanted to tell you that I really think you need to go to your session, and I think your T would agree.

A couple weeks ago I had a horrible morning that involved sobbing uncontrollably on the way to T. I didn't want to go in...I didn't even feel like I should be there. When I told my T that I felt like crap and I should have cancelled, he said this: "Is your stomach bothering you? Do you have a headache? Does your arms, legs, ears, eyes hurt?...No?? Then you are emotionally hurting and that means you come here."

I think your stress level is through the roof and you need time with T right now...no matter what you decide to do with that time.